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Hugs, that's just nuts. Is she just not pro-therapy? When my DH and I started counseling, he admitted that he wasn't into it because he only had a weak experience with it when his parents divorced. I wouldn't be surprised if my MIL tried to dissuade him from counseling during the incident. Props to you for recognizing the need for help. That's huge. For anyone to dissuade it is doing you a huge disservice.

@Cherrybee: I agree with the pp's who think the older generation don't really get it. My parents think it's "just hormones" and I need "cheering up" that's all. I don't really see those as negative- just that they want to reassure me that there's nothing wrong with me.

@Cherrybee: Ugh, I hate hearing that. Therapy is a useful tool when times are tough. What's interesting is that my family is very pro therapy while DH's isn't. My MIL needs it as well.

I'm glad you told her off. If you want, I'll call her and do the same.
Shame on her for trying to stand between you and your health and happiness.

@Cherrybee: I am so sorry my dear - I went back to search for your mom group post. Hugs. Big hugs dear mommy.

Yes you should get treatment. If it is not antidepressants, at least see a therapist so you can talk about your feelings regularly. You have our full support here

With that said, try not to hate your MIL - I read that you are/were close to her, which means she has been supportive to you except on this matter? It is a blessing to have a good MIL so I hope you don't block her off because of this. I agree with everyone that the older generation has a skewed perception in terms of mental health. Just don't talk to her now for a while, and when you feel better then you can reconnect?

Warmest wishes, and I hope you feel better soon! Get out into the sun and go for a walk with your baby every day if you can, or at least just get some sun if walking is too much (it's getting cold!). That helped me tremendously when I was a new mom.

No idea whether it's cultural or not, but my English MIL (who is otherwise a lovely and supportive woman) was definitely weirded out by my desire to seek help with PPD. She kept saying things like, "Well, of course you're not going to get on any anti-depressants, right? Because you certainly don't need them." It was so frustrating and ultimately, I just decided not to talk to her about those kind of issues.

OMG!!! I'm livid for you!!!! How horrible! I'm so glad you were able to stand up for yourself and your decision to get help! Good for you!!!!

What?!?! I worked in Social Services in the UK (London), in child protection specifically, for three years and I can promise you that your MIL is 100% wrong. We NEVER took away children because the mother was suffering from depression! If a report came across our desk, we'd make sure the mother was getting adequate support, or link them up with the right supports if they hadn't found them yet, and that was it. Ugh, how annoying that she thinks that!

I did laugh a bit because yes, you guys do think all Americans are therapy happy, but there are more options available than drugs or seeing a shrink. Lots of times, it's community groups or community workers who come to the home once per week to help mothers work through the depression. Oh MILs, gotta love them sometimes!

@Cherrybee: She's wrong and she's full of it (re: ppd) and I'm glad you see that! My MIL tried to tell me it was normal too, and then later said to me that she had ppd with one of her babies too, and her symptom? Being terrified of the balcony and knives near the baby. I was shocked...I was like THAT'S what you think I have? Fear of knives around my baby? Anyway...I'm with ya.

From what I know about treatment in the UK, they are actually much more likely to go the counselling route than medication. Good luck with your journey!

That surprises me! At any rate, sometimes medication can be really helpful as a short term aid, just to help get you out of the hole- so to speak. If I were you I'd push for counselling too if they talk about meds. Also- Good for you for making the choice to help yourself! That takes real strength.

@Cherrybee: yup, she lives in London. So there is hope:)

@Cherrybee: I'm very glad you told her off, and even more glad that you have been able to discuss it with her and smooth things over. She sounds like a wonderful MIL and it sounds like you have a great relationship... I'm so jealous!

I totally get the cultural thing... I'm American but my parents and in-laws are Asian immigrants, so for them, therapy = crazy = drugs as well. It's gotten better over the years as they've learned about friends and peers in therapy, but if I had mentioned therapy back when I had my first baby my mom and MIL would have probably said the same things for sure. And we're all religious so... you know the ridiculous phrase "pray the gay away"? They probably would have tried to convince me to "pray the cray away"...! That would have totally driven me even more cray.

In any case, getting help is definitely the first step, and the doctor should be able to determine whether or not you could benefit from an antidepressant. And I'm sure the doctor will be well aware that you have a baby at home and will be working with you to make sure that baby DOESN'T get taken away. Duh. I know people who have benefitted from therapy without drugs, therapy with mild antidepressants, and therapy with antidepressants taken on a maintenance level as well. I don't know anyone whose baby has been taken away because they sought therapy and treatment.