I need to give myself a time out. DD scared the living crap out of me just now and I need to breathe for a second. She was playing with the soil around our little apple tree. It's in he south end so the soil's really dry since its been really sunny lately. She was calm and although making a mess, nicely playing with the soil. Just as I was thinking about how we really need to get her a sandbox but we're gonna have to wait until spring since it'll be cold soon. She all the sudden, takes a handful of dirt and stuffs it into her mouth. It was so much dirt that she started to choke!

I panicked! I should have stuck my finger into her mouth and forced the dirt put, but instead I lifted her up sideways and brought her into the laundry room to run water over her mouth. She wasn't completely choking, but she did have a hard time and I totally reacted the wrong way. What if she was really choking?

I am so disappointed with myself and at the time, I was unreasonable mad at her - which makes no sense whatsoever! She's only 14 months old!

I guess this is just a vent. I feel like years have been taken off my life and she's here just happily playing. I feel like I was just hazed into true toddlerhood.