Hellobee Boards

Doable? Yes. Enjoyable where you won't be pulling your hair out? Um....well...you'll get there! Some days. Other days, not so much. If you want brutal honestly, the first three months were really tough on me - the negatives were that baby was waking up frequently at night to eat, but my toddler was still waking up at 7am ready to start the day. Every time I was breastfeeding my toddler would suddenly want my full attention. Their naps never seemed to overlap. I wasn't healing well from my c-section. It wasn't until close to four months when things started to become exponentially easier.

If hiring someone part-time to help out is something you can afford, I would highly recommend it. The one good thing I do remember thinking is how much easier a newborn seems once you already have a toddler - when my first was born, having a newborn was pretty tough. But the second time around I was saying, "OMG, how did this ever seem difficult? All he does is sleep and eat!" But throw taking care of your toddler into the mix and things get tricky.

A lot of this does probably depend on your specific toddler and the age gap though, mine weren't quite a year and a half apart. And my DH also works really long hours, he leaves the house at 7:30 and gets home a bit after 6:30.

@Anagram: Our husbands sound a lot alike, haha! I'd frame it as a compromise - you're saving money by not keeping your toddler in her normal daycare during your maternity leave, but spending some to save your sanity and make your maternity leave more of the bonding experience it should be.

I'm home now with my seven week old and 25 month old.
Getting out of the house is tricky, a lot of that has to do with the cold though.
DD1 is very independent and happy to color on her own while I nurse. She has gotten more screen time than I'd like, but I'm starting to not really need that crutch anymore.
DD2 is a very easy baby and actually prefers napping in the swing to napping in my arms.
I was working last year so DD1 was used to only having me around for breakfast, dinner, and bedtime. Now she has all morning while DD2 naps. She actually gets more attention now than she had been.
DH leaves for work at nine and gets her breakfast after she gets up at eight. At that time I'm nursing or snoozing with DD2.
Honestly there are really difficult moments, but I'd say 90% of my day is easier than I imagined it would be.

I don't have two kids but I think a lot of this has to do with your newborn. I knew my mom was staying for 3 weeks but my son had severe reflux and colic and was screaming nonstop and never slept. I didn't catch a break or sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch for three months - and had PPD/PPA and was a hot mess. And we had to EP for latch issues and finding time to pump was insane. My DH works long hours and has a 150 mile commute round trip. After my umpteenth anxiety attack DH was like hire whoever or whatever you need because we won't survive the 4 month regression this way. Now I have help 3 days a week and it's a lifesaver. I cannot imagine how I could have handled a another at the same time. I would say line up help and if it ends up being doable then let the helper go. DH is wayyyy happier knowing I have help and I get more stuff done and I'm more rested and he thinks it's worth every penny.

@Anagram: will your daycare let you take an unpaid break like that? Most daycare around here won't save your spot for you :-/.

@Anagram: what if you hired a mothers helper? A responsible older teen in the neighborhood for about $10/hour? Or not so much where you live?

@Anagram: ah gotcha! Well crap then

I'm currently on maternity leave with a 2 year old and 7 week old twins. DH is normally gone from 7:45-6. And my toddler goes to a sitter until noon 1 day a week. It's like anything else though...depends on the day. Some days the toddler is happy playing mostly on her own and others she is super needy and wants held all the time. And some days the twins sinc up naps and are happy rotating between swing, playmat and carrier. Other days they rotate who is crying just to torture me. Having help at least 1 day a week is priceless. However, I'd recommend having the helper do as much of the infant care as possible while you spend quality time with your older LO. Investing in some quality time that's just them goes a long way in terms of their behavior (at least in my experience).