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Can I answer as growing up in part of a 3 kid house? And what I hope to avoid.

- 3 kids is an odd number but kids need their own "alone" time too. So if one sibling didn't/couldn't play, there was someone else there. Also, we were spaced out in age so often if it was a younger activity, I (the oldest sibling) didn't really care to play anyways.

- Again, we were all spaced out 4 years so it was ok that I didn't need my parents attention full time. Going to college it was kinda nice not having a mom calling for daily check ups (because she still had two kids at home) but she was always there for me when I needed it.

- I dont know, we didn't eat out all too often or maybe we just ate at places that had tables.

- Its a bit more costly but when we were little we all stayed in one room and just rented a larger size rental car. Or we just drove the van. We traveled a lot.

@aprild: I don't have 3 kids but both DH & I are one of 3.

DH was closer to his older brother in his younger formative years. In his older adult years he was much closer with the middle brother. His middle brother died suddenly 5 years ago. If he only had one sibling he would be an only child now. So....there's that.

I'm the youngest girl with two much older brothers. They're naturally closer growing up because of our big age gap. But we are close now in that I know they have my back.

Is the dining issue really a deciding factor for having a third?!?

Regardless of 2 or 3 kids I think when they're older we would do adjoining rooms anyway. I don't see why 2 or 4 kids can't all bunk in one room??

As a stepmom of three I generally agree with your friend. The waiting for tables at restaurants is totally true...but we eat out regularly. If you don't then that won't be as big of an issue. VRBO has made travel easier because now we just rent houses or condos instead of staying in hotels, but if flights are involved we have to plan pretty far in advance to save up.

The other thing is if all 3 are involved in activities (which my stepkids are), the logistics of dropoffs and pickups is really complicated. My DH is always dropping off or picking up and rarely gets to stay to actually watch an entire activity...I know that's really hard on him.

I'm one of three, and I love having two brothers! For us, there was some truth to certain issues:

the 2 on 1 dynamic - I feel like we were situated to have a ton of this because my brother and I are twins, so we had the twin pairing or the two boy pairing as natural groups that would leave someone out. Especially when we were late elementary school-aged, my brothers would pal around and not necessarily want a girl breathing down their necks. However, I don't think that was because there were three of us, and I was definitely not emotionally scarred by it haha. That will always happen with siblings, and it was great to always have a buddy if I was fighting with one of the bros. We are all very close now.

Attention - I don't remember feeling like this was lacking at all. My parents were very hands on and knew what was going on in our lives. This was probably helped by us being very close in age. If anything, we were all too in each other's business - we all did the same high school sport, so we spent a ton of time together.

Eating out - This is true haha! I have very vivid memories of being mad that we were waiting longer than other people at ChiChis (RIP ChiChis) because we needed an extra space for the 5th. My mom would occasionally comment that certain things, like amusement park rides and rental cars, were made for families of four. In the scheme of things, this is so not a big deal. I got very used to riding in the middle seat for long road trips with the family dog on my lap - character building!

vacations - we didn't take many vacations but when we stayed in hotels, yes, the rollaway bed worked for us.

I suspect that the individual relationships and age gaps between the siblings may have more to do with your friends' experience than anything else. I think the activities logistics were really crazy for my parents, but they made it work by encouraging us to be involved in similar activities as we got into high school. My mom and I were actually just talking about this over Christmas.

As an adult, I love being one of three. It feels like we are little team in life.

I can answer as one of three children:

1) I dont think there was a 2-on-1 approach when we were younger. I will say, as we grew up, I (the youngest) became the pawn that the two olders used. It went back and forth...sometimes I was closer to the older and sometimes the middle - and they would definitely pull the gang up on the other. But again - this is high school age and this is 3 daughters!

2) I never felt a shred of "lack of attention". That said - I have an amazing mother - amazing. I think what I notice most importantly is that she didnt try to "do it all"...she focused where she could in order to not divide herself too much. She was also a SAHM.

3) I dont recall meals being difficult, but we probably only ate out at sit down places once a month - on average.

4) I guess this is technically true - as it is one more person to pay for. But really 4 flights vs 5 flights aint that big of a deal - certainly not a deal breaker. And - I think for hotels it just depends on your preferences. We will only be having 2 children - so technically we could all sleep in one room (2 queen beds) - however, DH and I even now with one LO and one on the way, prefer to just get a suite so we can have our own "space" after we put the kids down. So - we already pay for large rooms, and will likely pay for an extra room as the kids are old enough.

@blackbird: This is me and my brother. We're 4 years apart on the dot (we share the same birth month and day), but we're not close at all! We were raised completely different and that kind of started the wedge between us. Even now, we hardly communicate.

I have a cousin and a BIL that have three kids. To me it looks like sometimes one kid does get left out, but it's never the same kid. So it's not too bad, everyone gets some alone time and someone to play with.

And when we all go out to eat, we need a big table in any case because there are cousins and grandparents, and even if there were just two kids, there's a lot of us with extended family!