nectarine / 2431 posts
@LabradorLover: Thinking of you and hoping your ultrasound brought a lot of answers and clarity.
kiwi / 548 posts
Yesterday we had our ultrasound and everything looked normal. They said we should do a fetal echo of the heart in 4 weeks to confirm no heart issues even though they didn’t see any today.
My husband and I discussed last night and we are still at opposite sides of this decision. He is very worried about his quality of life and how it will affect our lives and just wants a “normal” child. I can’t even begin to tell you how mad it made me. We ended up fighting and going to bed without talking to each other so it wasn’t a very good night.
I can’t fault him for feeling that way, part of me does too but the other part of me can’t even think about the possibility of giving up this child. We worked so hard for him and finally have him and are just going to give him up? I guess I do need to think about the bigger picture but it is very hard for me to separate my feelings from the decision.
I decided to take the day off from work today because I’m a blubbering mess and can’t stop crying. I just don’t know what to do but certainly don’t want a rift in our marriage over this either. I’m so afraid that we won’t get pregnant again and this was our one chance or something or this was the only boy we were going to have, etc.
I’m just stuck in a tough place.
nectarine / 2210 posts
@LabradorLover: that's so hard. I don't have any advice, but sending you lots of love.
nectarine / 2288 posts
@LabradorLover: I can't even imagine how hard this is. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you. Support is always here if you need it
persimmon / 1310 posts
@LabradorLover: I'm sorry you guys are having a hard time and hope you can come to some kind of resolution. Sending you love and light today
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
@LabradorLover: I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard it is. We all certainly fight over much lesser things. I hope time can bring you closer together in whatever decision is right for you. Sending you lots of love and hugs
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@LabradorLover: Such a difficult situation. I messaged you.
coconut / 8483 posts
I'm so sorry you're struggling with that to do and aren't on the same page as your husband. Sending you lots of hugs ️
coffee bean / 32 posts
I'm so glad the ultrasound didn't turn up any issues, but oh, what a tough position to be in. I think that in general, dads feel less connected to the baby before it's born because they're not the ones physically carrying the little one. It's easier for him to picture a potentially difficult future and make decisions based on that without as much emotional connection getting in the way. I'll wall you in a bit
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I am so sorry you are in such an impossible place and on top of that not feeling the same way as your husband. Just sending you so much love
kiwi / 548 posts
After talking with my mom and again with my husband, we have decided not to proceed. I think getting past the “I feel like an asshole for even considering termination” feeling is something that was majorly holding me back. We just really feel this will be for the best because we don’t want him to have a life of struggle.
I appreciate everyone’s love and support. The doctor was able to get me in tomorrow and my procedure will be on Thursday. I’m so heartbroken but know this is the right decision.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@LabradorLover: I'm so sorry.
You definitely are not an asshole, and anyone who suggests that clearly hasn't been in such a heartbreaking situation. Thinking of you and sending so many hugs
pear / 1599 posts
@LabradorLover: so much love and hugs to you and your family Not an asshole, thinking of you during this very difficult time.
kiwi / 745 posts
@LabradorLover: just because someone else could make a different choice doesn’t make this decision wrong and you are definitely not an asshole. I’m glad your doctor was able to get you in quickly and I wish you a lot of peace and comfort in the days ahead.
cantaloupe / 6017 posts
@LabradorLover: It takes tremendous courage to make the right decision for you and your family. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, and wish for healing for you and your family
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@LabradorLover: So much love to you and your family during this difficult time.
persimmon / 1286 posts
Thinking about you and sending you good vibes to get through all this. Please be kind to yourself.
nectarine / 2288 posts
@LabradorLover: I'm so sorry. So many hugs. Whatever decision you made was the right one for your family
apricot / 253 posts
@LabradorLover: Sending you all kinds of love and kindness. You are strong and brave and powerful and I'm impressed with the honesty you've shared with us in this little corner of the internet. xx
cherry / 125 posts
@LabradorLover: I'm so very sorry. Sending you and your family much love and peace in the coming days.
pomelo / 5573 posts
I’m so sorry. What an awful position to be put into. I hope you’re taking good care of and being kind to yourself.
apricot / 431 posts
@LabradorLover: I’m so sorry you are going through this. It was for a different reason, but we terminated a very wanted pregnancy in 2016. Please wall me if you want to ever want to talk. Sending you so much love
honeydew / 7622 posts
@LabradorLover: thinking of your and your family. I’m am so sorry. @ocean81 is a friend and I encourage you to consider her offer. I have seen this community support so many women, we are here for you.
nectarine / 2765 posts
@LabradorLover: I'm so sorry. So many hugs. And, you're definitely not an asshole. Know you have so much support here.
kiwi / 548 posts
Thank you to everyone who has posted on here. I really contemplated writing this post originally and then of course posting about our decision but it is truly wonderful to see how supportive everyone is.
This is undoubtedly the hardest thing I have ever had to do, especially with something I have wanted so badly for so long but I know it’ll be the best for us and him.
Thank you so so much
nectarine / 2431 posts
@LabradorLover: I can't even imagine how hard this decision has been to make. So many hugs to you.
pineapple / 12566 posts
Just wanted to add my support. I hope you find peace in this difficult time.
persimmon / 1310 posts
@LabradorLover: I'm sorry you are going through all this. We are here for you.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
@LabradorLover: You are a kind and compassionate mother. I support you. Today will be hard, as will the coming months. But, I promise there will be light and happiness again. Please reach out anytime.
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