My 3.5 year old has a very strong need to suck when she's feeling out of sorts (tired, frustrated, nervous). She still uses a pacifier to settle down to sleep (and every time we tried to go without it, she tosses and turns and has a really hard time settling down because she doesn't have that comfort, so we left it at the advice of the doc to avoid a thumb sucking habit), and in the last couple of months I've noticed that she's putting her hands and toys in her mouth a lot more. I was worried about this when she was smaller - she mouthed everything in sight when she was a baby and was very drooly - but I let it be. She seemed to get out of the mouthing stage through her 2s, and now it seems to be returning again. She has no issues with eating, according to her pediatrician she's actually advanced on the speech development side, but I'm worrying given that she's getting older. She turns 4 in June and I've been waiting it out so far, but I'm wondering if it might be time to consult with an SLP or another professional about this? Would love any thoughts if anyone's gone through this.
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i don't have any advice, but was wondering if there some other change going on, at daycare or home? it might be a temporary reaction to a transition.
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@edelweiss: No, things are as static as they can get right now. It could be developmental - more learning, growing, etc., - but given the persistence with the pacifier, it sends up a flare for me. I'm just not sure if I should keep waiting it out (which is my preference, TBH, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm waiting too long) or talk to someone.
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@Mrs. Carrot: We didn't drop the paci until 3.5 and it was a horrible 2-3 nights but now she has no issue sleeping without it. However, at just over 4, she also still mouths when nervous or tired. She doesn't chew on toys, but she sucks on her shirts. It makes me crazy because she ends up with a big wet spot on her shirt but I can't get her to stop. Honestly I think some kids just have an innate need to suck and it's not indicative of any other issues. I sucked my fingers until the 3rd grade and no matter what my parents tried they couldn't get me to stop. The only thing that eventually stopped me was that I had to get a pallet expander and while it was in I physically couldn't suck my fingers.
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@Truth Bombs: My biggest worry with the paci is that she'll replace it with her fingers, especially now that she's dragging them in her mouth even more. I'm not so worried about the tough transition, we can make it through that, but I'm trying really hard to avoid a hand/thumb sucking habit. Both my mom and my brother had them and didn't get out of them until they were 9-10.
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Maybe you can try some dried fruit that's pretty hardy and tough to chew/suck? I have a sucking/gnawing thing (and finger biting habit) myself and my eldest child who's 2 never took a paci but seems to take after me and also put everything in his mouth. He chews on a fleece towel for naps and bedtime and you can hear him loudly chewing and sucking on it at night. Trader Joe's has unsweetened dried mango strips and pineapple rings that are healthy and pretty chewy and interesting to gnaw and suck on for a while and not really that messy. Maybe you can offer those when you see her mouthing something.
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Our older DS still sucks his thumb at 4. I'm going to let it ride out. I did get him a silicone necklace to wear at school. But I've noticed he just finds different things to chew (sleeve, etc.) if I discourage the thumb sucking.
I have a few bad habits/nervous tics and all the attempts from my parents to change it just made it worse. Even going to a therapist, sticker chart, etc. Just drove it underground...
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We're in a similar spot amd keeping the nighttime paci for the same reasons. When DS is watching tv now he will often ask for a teether from the freezer (intended for DD who is 1, but whatever) because we have talked about things that are ok to put in your mouth and things that aren't. I like the teether for now. If he gets older and still wants to chew b on things while watching tv, like my DH, we will move to gum or something. When he puts his fingers in his mouth because he is nervous or frustrated, we try to talk about how he is feeling and what he can do (ask for a hug, squeeze his hands, etc.) I want to offer him ageless coping skills not just ask him to stop showing his feelings. It's slow going, but he understands that slobber fingers are germy and slimy and not the best way to get what he needs so he's starting to initiate other ways to fulfill that need, like asking for a teether or a hug.
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Our kiddo (3 years) has started putting her hands in her mouth ... or even more disgusting: sitting in her car seat and just repeatedly licking her hands. Wtf?! I think she was doing it a TON because we were acknowledging it ... we decided to ignore her, and she stopped.
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@gingerbebe: That's a great idea, thank you! I've been mostly giving her small lollipops or Cheerios when this comes up but something tougher might be good for her.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook @MrsSRS completely agree on acknowledging the reason why she's doing it. It seems to mostly be mindless for her right now - when she's staring out the window, watching cartoons, etc., and it gets pronounced when she's tired or stressed (and it's hard to talk about things when she's like that). I don't want to shame her and make her feel bad, but I've been struggling with finding a way to talk to her about why she shouldn't do it in a way that doesn't make her feel bad. Thank you for your tips!
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