Move overseas with three-year-old

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Move overseas with three-year-old

By travelgirl1 Sep 17, 2015

We just booked our flight to move back to England at the end of November :crying:

T will only be four months so it won't really bother him. But A will be 3 and her whole life will be uprooted. She has no concept of England or her huge family over there, apart from DH's parents and my mum.

I'm quite worried about the transition for her. I know she will be fine long term. But she is leaving behind friends that she loves so much, our home, which she is very attached to, and everything she knows and loves. Life will also be very different, we'll be going from living downtown in a huge city to living with DH's parents in a village.

Any tips or words of wisdom on how to approach this with her and make it easier?

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16 comments

mediagirl
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@travelgirl1: I don't have experience with this but just remember 3 year olds are so adaptable. She is going to love the change and being near family. She will miss her friends and she will ask for them and (from experience of a friend of mine who moved away) she may even create imaginary friends named the same name as her friends here. But she will adapt and I'm sure she will do great. There will be so many new things for her to explore and see and do in her new country. I bet it will be much harder on YOU than it will be on her.

Congratulations on your move!
mrbee
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@travelgirl1: I would focus on establishing as much continuity as possible! Maybe some Skype calls with your family in England (to build up those relationships), and also starting to write some letters to her friends while you're still in Canada. Then once you move, you can keep up with letters and it may feel a little smoother!

One of my son's closest friends moved to Seattle, and he has actually regularly recorded videos for her (and vice versa). They've kept in touch over texts, and still consider each other best friends! Was kind of amazed that their bond has survived all this distance...

Good luck with the move!!
oliviaoblivia
pineapple / 12793 posts

Sep 17, 2015
lamariniere
pineapple / 12566 posts

Sep 17, 2015

Make it an adventure for her! Talk about all the new and exciting things she gets to do and don't dwell too much on what she will be missing. We moved abroad when my son was 14 months and moved to another country just before he turned two. He adapted surprisingly well. I think it will help that you will be living with family right away.
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@mediagirl: you're right, the are very adaptable. I think part of the problem is that WE are not excited about the move. We are gutted, really, but circumstances mean we have to go. But I know we need to make it sound exciting to her, not like something we are dreading!

@MrBee: Letters and videos will be great for her! We actually have DH's mum and sister coming out for a week a month before we leave, so that she will be able to build a bond with them and will 'know' them when we go back.
chopsuey
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts

Sep 17, 2015
tinyperson
pomegranate / 3858 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@travelgirl1:
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@oliviaoblivia:

@lamariniere: did you take specific things that he was used to with you to use right away? Someone suggested taking some decorations from her bedroom to put in her new room so she feels comfortable right away. Most of her stuff will be shipped but when I asked her the other day if she would like to live in a different house, one with a garden, the first thing she said was "and paws? (Her bear) and my potty? And so my toys?" She was concerned about all her things.
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@chopsuey: Ha I love that emoji!

@tinyperson: play date before we go? We leave November 30
tinyperson
pomegranate / 3858 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@travelgirl1: Absolutely! The only Saturday we have unavailable right now is Oct 3, and we have swimming starting Sept 26 (but that's 4:30-5). Maybe ROM or something? LO's never been! Other suggestions?

ETA - and Thanksgiving weekend - we're away...
lamariniere
pineapple / 12566 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@travelgirl1: he was really attached to his teddy and lovey, but was still a bit too young to care about the rest. Definitely prioritize her stuff with the things you will be taking right away. Are you shipping a lot of stuff or just taking everything in suitcases? For the big move, most of our stuff went by container. For the move within Europe we had 1 cubic meter of air freight in addition to normal bag allowances and the rest came by truck. So most of his stuff like toys and books and bedding went into baggage and air freight.
mediagirl
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@travelgirl1: I'm so sorry you have to leave under those circumstances.
loveisstrange
pineapple / 12526 posts

Sep 17, 2015

We moved from England to the US last year a couple weeks after C's 2nd birthday. We just really made a big deal about our NEW house, and her NEW room, and all the NEW friends she was going to make. We let her decorate her new room. She picked the colors, and we got her a new comforter/duvet and let her pick it out. Our things came over on a cargo ship, so they took 2 months to get to us on the other end but we were allowed a smaller "quick" shipment on a plane and we packed her favorite toys and a few things that would make it feel homey to her.

I agree with just making her excited about it. We had a few sleep issues and her asking about things from England, but overall it wasn't too bad.
sunny
coconut / 8430 posts

Sep 17, 2015

No advice but I hope the move goes smoothly!
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@tinyperson: we have tons of availability at the moment, I'll FB you!

@lamariniere: when we arrived here DH and I only had a couple of bags each. We've accumulated a lot more now though, especially with two kids. I think we will have one suitcase each and a carry on each. We're going to ship some stuff but not everything. A quote for a container nearly made me cry, lol. I think sharing a container might be the way to go. Hopefully she will be distracted by all the new toys at her grandparents to miss all her old ones. But her favourites will for sure come on the plane.

@mediagirl: Thanks! We very nearly swung it so we could stay, but circumstances seem to be pushing us back to England so maybe it's just the right time. We probably would never have made our minds up otherwise.

@loveisstrange: That's good to know, thanks. I imagine sleep will be an issue with the time difference, actually.
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Sep 17, 2015

@sunny: Thank you!

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Move overseas with three-year-old

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