Hellobee Boards

I’m in the same exact boat with my 2.5 year old twins. I would just ride it out. I wouldn’t cut snacks. I’m sure he’s getting plenty of nutrition from what he does eat throughout the day. It’s so so frustrating, but I’m sure it’s a phase. I keep offering the same meals and snacks, but I do make sure there are 3 hours in between snacks and meals, otherwise they are too full to eat.

They definitely are about control right now and want to choose what, how much and how, so don’t get too down about him asserting himself. Our approach is very similar to BHbee’s. Incorporate at least 1 favorite food into each meal and just serve what we serve. Have you thought about letting him help with small parts of meals? Something like stirring or sprinkling could help him feel more in control of different foods that you make (and might consider more nutritious). Also giving DD a choice of pieces “which chicken do you want?” rather than “here’s your chicken.” Has been a successful strategy for us for foods she doesn’t like, too.

Ultimately, though, as others have said, don’t worry. Your LO is not going to starve himself or become malnourished. Our pediatrician literally told us that nothing but white foods for six month or a year isn’t going to do any long term damage. So unless your doctor is worried know he’s probably fine.

If everything else is pretty typical (no concerns about major sensory issues and weight gain/growth is fine), I wouldn't worry at all. Kids' growth also slows at points and they genuinely need less food than seems possible. If he's eating large amounts of foods at snacks, I would decide whether you're fine with those being his main meals or whether you want to cut him off after a small snack so that he'll be hungry for other meals. And I really like most of Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility at meals - https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/how-to-feed/the-division-of-responsibility-in-feeding/

All of this is so normal! Kids are learning what they can control and how to express preferences and opinions. But, at least for me, it's so hard to accept because I feel like there's this ingrained feeling that I'm not doing a good job as a parent if they aren't eating.

We've had great success with the philosophy:

Parents decide what and when to eat.
Kids decide how much.

I always make sure there is one thing that I know my DD likes. For example this week we are having grilled tofu, grilled peppers, corn on the cob, and sweet potato. I know that she likes sweet potatoes and I made sure to leave some peppers raw for her because she doesn't like them cooked. She can eat as much or the sweet potato and peppers as she wants. We don't force her to eat one bite of anything, just offer the other things. She will occasionally try and like, or try and dislike the other things. She also has fruit for dessert, but can eat it with dinner - as long as she understands that the only fruit she's going to get.

We've been doing this for about 3 years, just around when she went from eating everything enthusiastically to only wanting pb&j at every meal.

@Umbreon: I hadn't thought about it, but I think having them stay at the table a little longer makes sense for some kids. If my son knows that he's doing something fun after a meal, he'll say that he's finished really quickly.