Those of you who have read my previous posts will know that, although I came off BCP three weeks ago, the weekend before we made the decision I forgot to take my pills with me on a mini-break and therefore missed three days.... I went back on it for five days... then came off it again... hormonal carnage ensued... !

So.. I'm now on CD 19 (taken from the start of my withdrawal bleed - the second time - in 10 days. See where the problem is, here...!) and I haven't ovulated! I keep getting almost positive OPKs in the morning, then by the afternoon it's stark white again. This has happened several times this week.... My temp is fairly constant.....

It just got me to thinking - what if I randomly got pg when I missed those pills and all of this charting and temping is for nothing. What if the almost positive OPKs in the morning are detecting tiny amounts of HCG?? I knew it was very, very unlikely but I thought "you know what, I'll test just to rule it out". I didn't expect it to be a BFP for one second but I knew I needed to be sure, just so I could go on waiting patiently to O in peace!

DH was only going to be at work for another hour so there was no time to spare! I jumped into my car and raced to the store. To my dismay - it was really, really busy!!! ! "I must not get spotted buying HPT," I thought, and quickly stuffed a loaf of bread and a giant bag of crisps (chips) in my basket, to hide the HPT under! "I will use the self service till and shove them in a carrier bag before anyone sees!". I laughed, evilly, at my cunning plan - mwahahahaha! Actually, that bit's embellished... but I did feel like an evil genius.

On arriving at the HTP aisle, to my horror, I found that the tests are security alarmed! Oh no!!! They're only £3.50!! I stomped to a regular till to pay and, somewhere between the bread and the tests, started an argument with the cashier - "Why are these alarmed! They're only £3.50! I don't care if people steal them, you should take the hit to preserve the dignity of your customers!". I wondered if whether my dignity would have fared much better if I'd just kept my mouth shut.

There was no time to lose! DH would be home in half an hour! I scurried out to the car park, running the argument with the cashier over and over in my mind. The car park was jam packed but there was a space next to my car. Just as I was about to open the door, a car made to turn into the free space. The driver stopped and ushered me, impatiently, into my car so he could pull in. You know what it's like, some people are just busier than the rest of us! The HPT, the argument, DH's impending arrival... it all flashed before my eyes.... I snatched the car door handle and pulled. As I did so, I grabbed my handbag, which I was wearing across my body like a satchel, and tried to pull it off over my head, to fling into the car before I got in. The bag got caught on my hair clip and yanked my head in the direction of the very fast moving, opening car door.... and SLAM! The door hit my nose with such force I felt dizzy.....!

"Oh God, what an idiot. Oh God, what is that pain? Oh.....!"

The driver of the other car simply looked at my like I was the biggest idiot who ever lived. I plopped onto the drivers seat and just sat. The other driver pulled in, got out of his car and walked away..... and I promptly began to cry!! It hurt so much!! My nose was throbbing, my teeth were tingling....! I sobbed all the way home, stealing concerned looks at my nose in the rear view mirror, narrowly avoiding cars in the process!

I arrived home ... T-10 minutes to DH's arrival! The box of tests was in a kind of plastic cover with a cardboard backing, presumably to allow the shop to hang them up and tag the things. Well... could I get the cover off? Could I heck! I tugged and peeled and... well, it just wasn't working. T-8 minutes. I spotted a screwdriver on the dressing table from when DH put up my new mirror. I grabbed it and tried to pierce the cardboard backing with it. T-7 minutes. I began slashing at the packet wildly!!! Ouch! I stabbed my hand once, I stabbed it twice..... finally, I made enough of a rip and tore the packet apart, ripping the HPT box and instructions in the process! And I peed....

It's now T+13 minutes and DH isn't home yet. my nose hurts so much!!!! It didn't bleed and I don't think it's broken, but wow is it going to bruise!

Oh and it was a BFN! (lol)