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I don't know.... I actually tended to agree with most of what she said. iPads/mobile technology didn't exist when we were kids and my parents certainly still managed to teach us to behave in public from a young age.

ETA I disagree with your analysis of her point number 3. It wasn't that we don't support each other, it's that parents do not want any one else to discipline their children in anyway and they become defensive of and supportive of their children's poor behavior which I think is very common.

I mean... she has some good points. I don't really have an issue with what she said either. In the end, it's just her opinion.

I saw a counter-article to this article someplace....

I read that before and while I do agree with her points I also felt it came off as a bit judgey and critical too. I do think the biggest issue really is her point in that we lost our village. Not in the sense we dont let others comment on our kids behavior but the sense that we lost a lot of help from extended families and such so that there is a lot more on mom and dad soley to take care of kids along with the fact that incomes are dropping and prices are going up so both parents have to work a lot meaning less energy and time to spend with kids. When we were younger our parents didnt spend or have to spend the same amoutn of time and energy entertaining and watching us 24/7. We went outside and played and no one cared that we were gone for hours on end but now thats so rare so there is more pressure on parents who are already stressed and tired to be entertainment too and thats exhausting hence I think the rise of technology to help give everyone a break

I do agree with a lot of what she said. I feel like I see examples of all 5 fairly often.

On my FB page, one lady posted that her 4 year old was kicking things in a store and another lady asked him to stop and said, "we don't kick trains". And the lady was ranting and raving that someone corrected her child. Anyways, goes to point #3. Apparently, how dare someone ask her child to stop kicking shit in a restaurant?.....Yeah.

I find myself agreeing with her for the most part! Her tone is kind of judgey, but I do think a lot of parents ARE like what she's describing and that it's maybe not the best way to go about things.

@Mrs. Chocolate: I agree with that. I think this is a very "american" thing though---the new parenting norm is the expectation that parents will do it all themselves. Like, "good" parents won't use babysitters, don't listen to their parents or in-laws opinions on anything, don't trust anyone to try anything different with their children. We've made our own villages smaller with a strange culture shift to distrust.

One thing I've learned in the short 12 months I've been a mama, is that sometimes even when I think I know the "best" way, there are other ways to care for LO that also work. And sometimes I need to relinquish control and let other people do their thing and find their own way with LO.

It's not that I disagree with her on all the points it's just that I'm sooo tired of these articles coming out telling parents how we're all effing our kids up. I like to think that we're all just doing the best we can and stuff like this usually just ends up making me feel like a crappy parent. And I know I'm not!

this article irritated the crap out of me too! and it was posted on my fb by a girl who is a punitive type parent with a comment like "I agree that this is what's wrong with society". ugh. I hate the idea that there's some right way to parent that she has the inside edge on it. I also find it problematic as a parent who was parented punitively who is trying to move to a more positive, connected way of parenting. The only choices you have as a aren't between telling the kid "you'll drink from what I tell you to drink from" and 'placating' a child's tantrum by pouring it into the cup that they 'demand' with shaking hands, thereby creating an entitled monster - there's like a dozen well researched and successful alternatives available, such as a kid's cupboard that they can pick their cup from, or offering a choice before you pour the milk into a cup. So yeah, I hate this type of crap.

I agree with her points for the most part but I do think it's a bit judgy and kind of insulting to people who find themselves falling into her pet peeve categories (which at dinner point or another is everyone!)

I did the high end nanny thing for years and it becomes easy to become jaded. This doesn't mean you write an article though, it means you move on!

@Rockies11: I agree with you.

I agreed with her observations. I see parents who are "afraid" of their kid (although I tend to see it as more trying to escape a struggle because struggles are exhausting) and definitely I notice that kids aren't given high expectations for proper behavior. And I do think some of the things she mentioned can shape the behavior of children in a negative way. When I read it, I didn't get the feeling of her being judgey or saying we're all doing it wrong, but I can see how that could be percieved.

I thought she had a lot of good points. Pretty judge-y tone though!

I agree with most of what she said.

She had good points but I think in general these types of parenting related articles are off-putting, let alone when given from the perspective of a non-parent.

@Mrs. Chocolate: @Anagram: yes, this!!

@PermaStudent: Then you haven't been to my house, when my son is having a meltdown over the pink spoon versus the orange spoon!

I try to pick my battles, I'll be honest. A lot of it is how I set things up...I didn't want to be a slave to a certain sippy cup, so I skipped them altogether. I didn't want to have to undo motion sleep dependency, so I didn't institue naps in the car.

I will also go out on a limb here, a lot of this article just highlights the differences between American and European sensibilties.

@lizzywiz: I read it again and I definitely see the more inflammatory tone. I'd have preferred if she used less "you" because that can make people bristle. To your other question, I'm a teacher of young children (3-8 age range in the past ten years) and, yes, I do see her examples in the parents I meet and I see a different attitude/outlook in the children. I especially run across #2 & #3 (and struggle with 4 & 5 myself!) I hesitate to say modern parents are doing it "wrong", but I think even in the past 5 years I see things being done differently, with different results.

My take-away from this piece is that these are some areas I can be mindful of and try to improve on, but not that I need to overhaul my entire parenting philosophy because I'm screwing it up.