My 11 month old is in the midst of a transition to 1 nap and making Christmas Eve scheduling difficult. The events are:
4-5:30pm- Christmas mass
5:30- family dinner
After dinner (6:30ish- ?- gifts for family and our older DD
But with the nap transition DD2 has been falling asleep by 6:30 at the latest:-/ what would you do? (We can't do anything earlier because the ILs work schedule) I'm leaning toward only going to mass to keep her on her usual schedule so she's starting the day off on the right foot for Christmas day. DH and DD1 would stay behind for gifts. but others around me are thinking I'm being crazy mom...
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It's hard, I think you know your DD best!
If it was my DD who just turned one, I know she LOVES being out and about and I would stay for gifts as long as she was happy! Once I saw her tired I would excuse ourselves! -
In this sort of situation, we would attend all of the events, but I would bring our beco baby carrier and wear my DD when bedtime rolled around. She happened to pass out easily when being worn, so I could continue to hang out/socialize. (I know not all babies like being worn, but it worked well for us.) It would allow you to still participate in all of the events without messing up your LO's sleep schedule.
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Do you think you could force an early nap (in the car, stroller, whatever) and try to go with a 2-nap day?
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I voted for just mass. Holiday excitement can really tire kids out and nothing is worse than an over tired baby. If she's only able to make it to 6:30 on a regular schedule, she'll probably won't make it through Xmas dinner without making you pay for it.
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Try to get her to take a really short 30 min nap around 1030-11am and then put her down for a PM nap around 3pm. Even if it's a short nap (like an hour) it should be enough to keep her awake for presents and bed around 730pm.
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I think this depends on the kid. If I knew my son would be a wreck, I'd skip the later events but he's was ok staying up a little later around that age and would go to bed fine after falling asleep in the car. However, since he's gone to one nap, also around 11, months, if he falls asleep in the car for 5 minutes, that is his nap for the day and that's it. So we can't manipulate his day time schedule at all but nighttime we can some.
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Trust your gut and make no apologies. I wouldn't have pushed bedtime more than an hour at that age for my LO. But if you think your kid can roll with it then go for it.
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@Mae: same.
We just leave places before bedtime. Some kids can crash and then be moved to car and then home, would that work? We haven't tried it but I don't think it would work well for my son at this age he's at now (21 months).
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If a second nap won't work I would leave after dinner or Mass. We are schedule nazis and wouldn't have kept our son up more than half an hour but he would have had a meltdown to let us know he was unhappy.
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My kids are pretty flexible with schedules. But on regular days we try to get home by bedtime. But around special occasions we will stay late and make it happen even though there could likely be a meltdown. Agree with forcing a second nap or bringing a carrier.
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I voted that it's Christmas and I would go with the flow, but my kid has mostly been that way. So really I agree with @Mae:. I would at least try though since it's a special occasion and if they melted, peace out of there fast!
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I would try to see if you could flip dinner and presents, or at least have your older LO open one or two special gifts before dinner so you get to see it. Then eat what you can and take the baby home when she starts to get tired (this assumes you live close enough to do that).
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I bend all the rules for Christmas, and it's probably the only time I do. I would try my best to make sure LO is as rested beforehand as possible and stay as late as I could. If LO started to melt down and be miserable, that would be my excuse to leave early. I just wouldn't assume that LO can't do it. I've been shocked at how well she does every year. Even the year she was a non-sleeping 4 month old.
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We just went to a 5 1/2 hour family get together. T slept in the carrier once for 20 min and again for 45, she screamed the whole 20 min home though.It's not ideal but it's Christmas. I skipped a friends party yesterday though.
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This is hard.
Our LO also goes to bed between 6 and 7, usually by 6:30 and it's one of the few things with her that I generally will not budge on because she just gets so cranky and unhappy and actually gets harder to put to sleep. However, I'd probably push it a bit on Christmas.
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I didn't vote because I would vote other...
How old is your LO? I am guessing below 1? Back then, we'd have our stroller ready and around nap time, we'll just put him in, put the seat down (so he's reclined), and cover him up with a blanket so it shields a bit of the lights and noise. I'd have my ipad with white noise handy even. This way, he can basically / theoretically just fall asleep anywhere while the grown up activities are still going on. My in-laws threw an "introduction" party for my son to their friends and family when he was 3 months old. It was right at his nap time (yes I hate my very clueless and inconsiderate FIL), but that's how we did it and it all turned out to be OK.
In fact, that's how we did it when we were traveling abroad... we just keep him in the stroller around naptime then push around for a bit and he's asleep. That works usually when he was a lot younger.
Good luck and I hope you figure it out!
ETA: OK I voted "forget schedules"
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Does your LO transition well? When my LO was that age we used to regularly hang out with two other families well past bed time. We brought pack n plays and just out the kids to sleep in spare bedrooms. When it was time to go we would just get our daughter out of the pnp and move her to the car seat, no problem. So that's what I would do.
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I would stay and try to make it work. Good luck!
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I'd take a travel crib and just put her down when she starts melting down. This is how we have handled the last two Christmases.
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I'm going to say play it by ear as much as you can. If she seems ready for bed by 6:30, could you put her to sleep at your ILs and then transfer her when it's time to go? Or could you host the dinner/presents at your house, so DD2 could go to bed on time and DD1 could still have her time with grandparents?
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@Mae: I agree with you.
My LO usually is a mess if he is not in bed by 7 but occasionally he gets super stimulated when we are out and about and can stay up past his bedtime without messing up his sleep. He does not sleep well outside of his car seat, crib, daycare.
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Depends on the kid. My son was miserable without sleep and it gave me anxiety and ruined everything for me and would mess up his sleep for several days, so I would push to change the schedule to meet his needs or take him home. My daughter though can totally go with the flow and it wouldnt really be a problem to thow off her schedule. . Maybe you could squeeze in a second nap that day, even if its just a car nap, so you can push bedtime?
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My child has always been flexible and go with the flow and not really bothered by changes in sleep. While I avoid it when I can, i would make an exception for Christmas. Totally depends on the kid though.
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I only bend the rules for people we love who would actually appreciate it. Nothing worse than having a screaming wild off-schedule baby and family/friends who don't seem to care that you made such a big sacrifice. It's why I am not going to my grandmoms house for Christmas this year - she makes such a huge fuss about us attending in the weeks leading up to holidays then completely ignores us on the actual day! We made the mistake twice now and will not be tricked a third time.
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We had a similar situation with our 14 mo this past weekend for a family holiday party. She is pretty much on one nap now but needs to go to bed around 8pm at the latest. We kept her up until 9pm and thankfully she fell asleep in the car on the way home, but still woke up at the same time the next day and was cranky because of the missed sleep. I'm in the camp of staying as close to the schedule as is necessary for your little ones to still be happy. Some kids are more flexible about this than others. Mine aren't really flexible and we've learned this the hard way more than once.
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I would probably make it a two-nap day if you can. Even if both naps are relatively short, a later nap before mass should help you stretch out bedtime a little. Sorry you have to deal with this! I am delaying the 2-to-1 nap transition for my 15mo until after the holidays for this very reason
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We are in the midst of a 2-to-1 transition and have a similar dilemma. We are planning to make it a 2 day nap. This might mean waking him up an hour earlier (he often sleeps until 7 AM), but I think it would be a bummer for all parties if he/we missed the festivities.
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I would also think about what you need for the next day too. At that age, we could have pushed my LO to stay up and she would be fine, but we would pay for it the next day with a super-cranky child.
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It's Christmas, so I would make an exception. I'm all about trying to stick to schedule, but for special events we just go with the flow. When my sisters and I were growing up, my parents' lives didn't revolve around our sleep schedules.. and we were fine!
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For me it would depend on whether your LO gets cranky if tired or just sleepy. Mine has a tendency on every single holiday to not nap well and then get super cranky. So we rarely stay late in the evenings because it becomes tantrum city. If she just got sleepy or excited, I'd probably keep her out longer.
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I would either try and push a 2 nap day (wake up early in the morning, cut nap 1 v. short) - or make it a very late 1 nap day - as late as she can manage. Then I'd let her fall asleep in the car on the way home - my LO doesn't transfer asleep but will go back to sleep pretty quickly if it's past bedtime.
I don't like to mess with LOs sleep but I wouldn't miss out on Christmas stuff because of it. With my LO he may well be a little cranky the next day if he hasn't had enough sleep - but he also could end up being cranky for a million other reasons that I have no control over, so I just try to roll with it and hope for the best
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Personally we go with the flow and when she looks like she's hit her limit we head home. I think Christmas is a good exception for sleep.
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It's hard for me to "vote" when I don't know your kid.
When my son was 4 months old he needed his naps and his schedule, we had a big family wedding and having his schedule messed up made for an overtired, cranky, screaming child and a frazzled mother. So when Christmas came, I opted to come late so he could get his naps, or arrange for him to sleep at my parents.But as a three year old, he's more flexible. He still gets really tired from skipping a nap or postponing bedtime, but he can handle it more.
It sucks to miss stuff, but I would if my lo was younger and I knew what would happen if he didn't get to bed. But as a toddler, he and I are more lenient
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Is she solidly on 1 nap? If she can still swing 2 naps sometimes, I'd go for 2 naps so she can stay up. My 1 year old still still in transition so we kinda do either one, whichever works best for our schedule for the day haha!
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@autumn865: I'm like one of the only people who will say this but I'd say keep her to the schedule. Where is dinner? Can you feed her, get her to sleep and then do dinner and presents? I like keeping babies and younger kids on their schedule, no matter the event or holiday.
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if you can kind of play it by ear - i would try that. like go to mass, then dinner and if she's looking like she's not going to make it through, then skip gifts and take her home for early bed. so just kind of watch and respond to her cues - don't force anything either way.
Our LO also goes to bed between 6 and 7, usually by 6:30 and it's one of the few things with her that I generally will not budge on because she just gets so cranky and unhappy and actually gets harder to put to sleep. However, I'd probably push it a bit on Christmas.
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