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You need an option for both. I think they are both equally important!

@Mae: I don't know! My husband is VERY different from his sister, but I think that's partly because of how he was raised! Both his parents are very social and outgoing and so his older sister was the same way and I think the fact that the three of them were like that made it hard for my husband to really have a chance to speak up and be as vocal as them, which is why he's more quiet! I don't think it's SOLELY because of his nature.

@Mae: This is purely anecdotal so take it as you will, but my siblings and I were raised in the same household and my brothers are way different than my sister and I in terms of drive and responsibility--but I think it's nurture in our situation, my mom wasn't around as much for them (was working 2 jobs when they were younger) so my sister and I had a different version of our mom than my brothers.

But then I look at all of those studies with twins who were separated at birth and how they dress the same, have similar families, and careers.

I just don't think we can say that for every person nature or nurture is more influential in the way they develop. It depends!

I think nature wins, but nurture definitely plays a role. I'm more 70/30 nature/nurture.

@hilsy85: That's so true. My parents really tried to be fair and equal in their treatment of my brother and I, but just the gender difference made my parents treat us differently (my brother was given more freedom to do things because "he was a big strong boy that could take care of himself").

@hilsy85: Yes! Plus you might be more strict and uptight with your first child and then realize you don't have to be that way with your second and so things are just different! I think it would be really hard to parent multiple kids exactly the same way (except in the case of twins/multiples).

My brother and I are 4 years apart, but we're complete opposites. People are always so surprised at how different we are and how we were raised.

welll....if you take first year psych, they'll eventually tell you it's a diathesis-stress model, which ends up meaning (I think) that neither has more 'weight' but that it depends on where you start. E.g. genes for X let's say: if you have a 3/4 full glass of genes for X, then it only takes 1/4 of the X kind of nurture for you to have X. But some people will only have 1/4 full glass of genes for X, so they'd need 3/4 of X nurture to get that...if that makes any sense!

Anyway, ultimately I think 50/50