DH's father (who we have a less-than-stellar relationship with) lives about 1,000 miles away from us. He has chronic health problems and has recently been talking about wanting to go move from his house where he lives by himself, to an assisted living facility or nursing home. We are barely treading water up here financially, and it is simply not feasible for us to take off a month (or more) from work, like he is asking us to do, to go down and help him. None if his Dr's are apparently willing to help refer him to the right people. Over the years he has alienated all of his former friends, and anyone who has tried to help him in the past. He is single and has no family other than DH and myself.

I found an elder-care advocacy organization where he lives that I have contacted to see if they can help us figure this situation out. I am a bit worried because they are private pay which means this is going to come out of our pocket, as he is on fixed income only. So I'm hoping something like this isn't too expensive. We are only looking for help finding a good fit, and organizing a place in a facility. When it comes to the actual moving process we will fly down and help him move.

Has anyone put a family member into assisted living/a nursing home before? Do you think we could do it without this third party getting involved, even though we are so far away? I have absolutely no idea where to start. How does a person on a fixed income afford to live in one of these places? He has state insurance but he will have essentially $0 until we can sell his house. It is in serious need of repair after he abused it for 15 years, so that could take years to flip.

Sorry for the wall of text, I feel like i'm so lost with all of this