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We were at home, just the three of us, for the first 2 weeks immediately following the birth. I don't think we had any visitors other than the midwife! We survived and actually, it was fantastic, because it proved to us that we could do it, without help.

I'm torn on how to answer. I'm Chinese and culturally we have a "sit month" after delivery that we partake in. So my mom was here for that and I couldn't do a lot of that without her. It was SO great having my mom here. She was SO much help. She helped clean, she cooked dinner almost every night. Made me/us lunch every day. She did laundry. It was SO nice to not have to worry about any of that.

But.

My mom took care of 3 grandkids so she very much as the way she wants to do things. So in the first few weeks having some one there 24/7 undermining the way we were doing things was so difficult and added more stress.

If I had to do it all over again I would want my mom to come after the first two weeks to stay with us.

But to be honest if our families were nearby I could not imagine telling them you have to wait TWO WEEKS to meet/visit your grandchild/niece/nephew.

You're not even going to let them come visit??

ETA: There were moments were I lashed out at my mom bc the first two weeks were so difficult with M. I highly regret it bc I know she was trying to help. But at the end I think she really liked being there and we know how hard it is for her that we live far away. I wouldn't take that away from her and will gladly have her stay with us as well for future kids. Which I imagine with a toddler it will def be helpful!

I'm curious about this as well. My parents are going to come up right when the baby is born, just for a couple of days, then it will be the 3 of us for a week or so before just my mom comes back up (hopefully, the timing works out that she comes when DH has to go back to work). Then his mom will come out after my mom leaves, which will almost definitely be after DH is back at work. I'm hoping this plan works out!

i think its totally up to you guys what you want to do- stick to your guns if you only want it to be just the 3 of you. i will say that i am so so so grateful that i had my mom there immediately after we got home from the hospital, it was a lifesaver and so helpful. my fam is from out of state so we had to fly her out for a week and she stayed with us. she did the dishes, cooked us meals, held LO while me and DH slept bc we were EXHAUSTED, and was just there for us offering tips and help. it was amazing. but me and my mom are very close so it might be different if you have a different relationship with your MIL. i honestly wanted my mom to stay MONTHS lol. i bawled my eyes out when she left. my thoughts are- you will have plenty of time just the 3 of you, take the help while you can! having a newborn was so much harder than i anticipated.

@NovBaby1112: hahahah OMG my mom initially promised to stay 8 weeks. At 4 weeks she told me that she wanted to go home bc she missed home. I started crying and telling her I just could NOT put LO in daycare at 7 weeks. Could she please stay till 8 weeks. I would feel much better about that.

I'm so grateful she said yes bc otherwise I wold have taken an extra week off unpaid.

@aprk: hahah my mom is not a dog person and she would take our pup out to go potty and take her for morning walks!

We were stuck in a hospital room for the first six days. After we got discharged my mom and sisters helped out. That was really good for me because DH was dealing with other family issues and had to split his time often. It definitely depends on the help and your relationship with them.

My sisters are awesome! They get me and didn't stress me out. My mom is incredible! She breastfed us so her input was great.

we had visitors within the first two weeks...but it was mainly immediate family. my SIL was sick when I had DS, so she visited about 2 days after we got home when she was better. My other SIL couldn't come up to the hospital while we were there, so they visited. and my sister lived 1 1/2 hours away, so she waited until we got home and came over the next day. DH had off a week and a half, and my mom had the following week off, and spent it with me helping out. in regards to that, we are doing the same this time. but i also had a C-section(And will have a repeat this time) and the help was welcomed and appreciated) i didn't mind the visitors, it was nice seeing people and most didn't stay for very long(and hour max)

I wanted it to be just us but I am so glad I had my mom there for the first 10 days. She took out the trash, went grocery shopping, cooked, cleaned, made the bed everyday....it was wonderful. When it came to the baby she pretty much left us alone. I don't know what I would have done without her

LO was in the hospital for the first week, but after that, we had zero help. It was just me and DH for that following week and then he went back to work for half a week on the third week. I was fine by myself that third week.

Anything i needed, DH could get. He did a lot of fetching for me--food, water, ibuprofen, ice pack, etc. I was sore and didn't really want to amble around more than i had to (meandering around the hospital to see LO 1 week PP definitely made me hurt more. Nothing like parking your sore butt on your own couch!). Then he could hold her while I took sitz baths and whatnot.

It was all totally fine! And I was glad not to have people up in my business trying to show me how to do diapers and whatnot. I would've bitten some heads off.

eta: if people do visit, ASK THEM TO BRING FOOD. we had freezer meals so we were ok, but we had no shame asking his sister to pick us up some chinese on her way to come visit, lol. it was delicious

@photojane: omg YES. DH only got to stay home a week. By week 3 my adrenaline was gone and the 2 hour wake ups were killing me. It was amazing to have my mom watch LO while I took a nap in between feedings. Especially bc my baby was a champion 20 minute napper IN YOUR ARMS.

@regberadaisy: same!

We were pretty much on our own. My mom came by a couple of times. We had a few visitors but they only stayed for a little bit. We survived. Although more help would have been welcomed. I would have only been comfortable having my mom or grandma stay for longer periods of time because I didn't care about breastfeeding in front of them.

Do you not want visitors at all? Is your mom close by? I would not have made family wait 2 weeks to see the baby. But my family all lives close and no one over stayed their welcome. Most just stopped by for a few minutes. My husband and I actually enjoyed the visitors because it was something to look forward to on those days.

@modern daisy, it's really nice to get your feet under you so that when someone says "XYZ is up with your baby, you need to do this", you feel good about not listening. My mom came up after 10 weeks and still did this with me and it was very frustrating to be undermined constantly, even though I know my baby way better than her! Insisting that she was right/her way was best. If it was the first week or two, I would've easily felt railroaded and incompetent. I just don't think it would've been a helpful situation. If your MIL is the same way, it's very frustrating when you're just figuring it out

My MIL stayed with us for the first week and it was extremely helpful!! I'm sure we could have done it on our own if we had to, but having the help was a lifesaver.

We said no to visitors for the first 10 days and it was great. My in laws came over a couple of times but they were honestly just in the way! They never got the cue to leave so I'd be trapped in the bedroom trying to nurse. The only real help was my mom. She cooked, helped me get LO to latch, etc and stayed with me while DH ran any errands we had. She could only stay two days, and going it alone after that was fine! It was much easier to get the hang of things without an audience. I think your plan is just fine

I don't have any advice, but I've been thinking a lot about this window of time too. I think we are going to be pretty strict about no one staying with us at our house right away. We're open to visitors, but if they aren't local they need to get a hotel. This includes parents and in-laws. I'm open to help, but I'm not open to having more bodies around 24-7. The hard part is that we are due around Thanksgiving and my mom thinks she'll just stick around until Christmas. Right now, the thought of that and figuring out how to handle the Christmas holiday is overwhelming to me.

We didn't have any help after LO was born...DH was off work for a week and a half, and while my mom came by once or twice, and his mom came by once, other than that we were on our own. That's how I wanted it though--I was breastfeeding and having trouble with that, so doing it every hour and a half was a huge production, I was topless a lot of the time, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and very hormonal...I felt much better just being with DH. Once he went back to work, it was helpful to me to get into a routine with LO as quickly as possible, which I don't think I could have done with other people staying with us. In terms of meals, you live in NYC--you'll have no shortage of take out options! Or you can do freezer meals, or if your DH cooks, etc. My DH stepped up with cleaning the apt.

I think it also depends if your family is the type to actually be helpful or cause stress, and whether you're the type to be stressed out by houseguests. I know I am. We also have a 2 bedroom apt that is not large, so having people stay with us always makes the apt feel even smaller.

We did it just DH and I for the first 2 weeks and it was just fine. We have minimal family over to visit the baby and that was it. I really liked it this way it gave us time to adjust and relax, and for my PP hormones/ baby blues to work themselves out.

@luckypenny: This sounds like the perfect situation! I think my MIL could be helpful in this way (non-baby related things), but I know my mom would pretty much take over all baby stuff and get really offended/upset if we didn't want her to.