Hellobee Boards

@MrsADS: What is your company's telecommuting policy? Does anyone else have a similar schedule? Do you have people that report to you? Do they have to be in the office core hours or is there flexibility? What is your seniority? Just some things to consider when trying to figure out how they will respond.

I did just this when I had LO #1. I set up a meeting with my boss before coming back, gave my idea of what would be reasonable and was prepared to quit if he said no. Luckily he said yes.

I wouldn't feel bad for not bringing this up while you were on leave. At the end of the day you weren't supposed to be working and holding meetings, just letting your manager know that you intend to come back to work. (At least that's what I keep hearing our mat leave is like).

Once you're back in the office and have access to employee handbook type materials I'd gather as much info on what you'd like to propose and set up a meeting with your manager within the first week. Propose an alternative schedule, but be prepared to give your two week's notice. If it comes to leaving your job you have two weeks to shop your resume while you're still employed. You may be able to find a job that is more flexible and has a shorter in your field so you can continue your career in your field.

Is your SO able to make any work accommodations to help with the ongoing care of your son?

My company is NOT flexible. They are pretty old school. I have a 1+ hr commute. So I would leave at 6am, be home 630 or so depending on traffic. Same boat, those hours would not work. I told my boss that I had always imagined myself staying home, that I love spending time with my child. But that once I started working, and working for that team, I LOVED working. And being home over mat leave made me realize I couldn't stay home full time. I then tried to use a lot of "need", not in a threatening way, bit one that subtlety said this isn't just a preference, its what we need for our family. I told him I needed to work from home. I needed to see her more. I couldn't sit in evening traffic and barely make it home for bed. I proposed a 2 month trial. If it doesn't work after that we 'figure things out' (never promising to go back to the old schedule BC I knew I'd have to quit, but never once saying that). That even after two months, its a rolling approval. He can say it isn't working at any time, and we reconvene from there. I chose to come in at 7 (which means DH does daycare) and then leave at 12 to get her by 1, so that she'd take her afternoon nap for me while I worked. That I have an office at home and wouldnt need anything (I don't, but I don't turn on the TV and we have WiFi ) he asked abt me staying until 3 or so. But no afternoon nap for me meant less work got done. And driving during most people's lunch hour meant not wasting that hour. He agreed for short term.

(I also have a job where I really need to see people evry day, so I chose to still commute every day instead of a T, Th thing.

It's been two years and four bosses and no one is taking it away from me. I think saying 'this is what I need for my family' has worked BC they know I'm serious about it. Also, how do you say no to a trial? I do keep it to those who need to know. Just kinda slip out so people aren't all begging to wfh.

It sounds bad, but if you have other options and are willing to quit, they'll feel that and be more likely to be accommodating. So know what you'd do if they said no and stick to it. Every employer is different. What worked for me might not work at another place. Good luck!!

@MrsADS: I would go in with a solid proposal or two. I talked to my boss a few weeks before I went back and proposed a 75% schedule. I work 3-1/2 days a week and get in early every day. It's been a really good situation for my family. I have a friend who went part-time after she'd been back a couple weeks, and that was also fine. I'm a lawyer and my job doesn't seem very conducive to a part-time schedule, but it's actually been pretty smooth.

I would make sure you have childcare if you're working from home. If I were a boss I wouldn't approve someone working from home while also watching their kid.

Good luck!

I have a similar problem. My commute is an hour so I am gone from 7:15am - 5:30pm. I work with all men who have stay at home wives and since they never use pto they all take off the whole month of December. No one cares about wfh because childcare is covered. I asked for flexibility and was turned down (by way of non-answer, which is the worst) so I am deciding what to do. I have built up a great career and salary over the last 12 years and it kills me to think of ending all that and completely changing our financial situation. Plus I really don't want to stay home.. Weekends are hard enough and stressful with our 2 yo.. I kind of see work as a break. In my case I just have to suck it up and compromise, but I really think I will be glad I did in a few years when my son is more independent and we want to start traveling, etc. sorry I don't have great advice but at least you know you're not alone!

I did this. I contacted my boss about 2 weeks before my maternity leave was over with a specific plan and time line. We had discussed it, though, in passing prior to me leaving. I wanted to work from home 2 afternoons a week for 6 months. I had been on bed rest for 4 weeks prior to delivering my son and had worked every day from home so, like you, had proven I could do it. I said that my son would have care during the time (which was true) and outlined "checks" I would have to ensure that things weren't becoming a problem.

@mrsads: no advice here, but I just wanted to commiserate! I worked very part time when my son was that age (like 12 hours a week). He had a lot of GI and feeding issues, too. So lots of vomiting, and we ended up needing to do feeding therapy through early intervention. It would have been so stressful to leave him home with a nanny during that time, not to mention all the extra appointments. It sounds like you know yourself and your family's needs right now to do what's best for you all. There are some nannies who specialize in kids with medical issues who would certainly be able to provide excellent care for your son, but I'm sure they are much more expensive than typical nannies.

I had a very similar situation when I tried to return to work after my first. I went back when he was almost 4 months and just prior to returning was told that he was FTT. It was also right after the holidays so I couldn't give my boss much notice about the situation. I spoke with her briefly just before I went in and then had a meeting with her and her boss the morning I returned. They were amazing and agreed to letting me return PT temporarily while we worked on getting LO growing again. My department had mostly done away with WAH but they even offered that to me as another temporary option (just wouldn't work for me because our house was way too small). After only a couple days we realized that it just was not a good idea for me to work at that time. I tried to quit but my boss put me on long-term unpaid leave instead so that I could return once he was healthier. I just want to share my story because it doesn't hurt to ask for other options, especially if it just a temporary situation. I had no idea that they would allow me to take a longer leave and never even considered WAH since there was a policy against it. Good luck and I hope it works out for you!

Good luck! I spaced my 12 week maternity out to almost 16 weeks going back part time at first and then pitched the idea to my boss to work at the office 30 hours/week and work from home 10 hours/week. She denied the request, things got ugly, and I quit! But I was already in a hostile work environment and there had been almost 100% turnover in my 5 years working there so not the best example. I had put my request in writing which ended up being very helpful because she later exaggerated what I had requested and I had the paperwork to prove that wasn't the case...again I was in a bad work environment!

@Mrsads: hang in there! ruling out GI problems is no fun (my LO had to do a couple of really horrible tests), but you'll feel better in the long run knowing what is really going on. You're doing so amazing for continuing to breastfeed with all the dietary issues!