My 2.5 week old is still struggling with day/night confusion- she's napping fine during the day (even with lights on, normal daytime noise, etc), but just cannot get settled for nighttime sleep at all.

Everyone I've spoken with (RNs, LCs, other Moms, etc) has told me that swaddling will help her settle down and sleep, but no matter how hard we try or how snug we make it, she seriously struggles against the swaddle, grunting and thrashing against it. We've tried the A&A blankets, Swaddlemes, a Miracle Blanket and a SwaddlePod (kind of like a Woombie). None of them seem to calm her down, she just gets more and more frantic until we undo the swaddle.

We also have been trying other calming measures like rocking, paci, nursing, bouncing, etc while swaddled, and while she may calm down initially, as soon as we put her in the RNP, she's awake and freaking out again!

Is swaddling something that we should just persevere with, in the hopes that she'll get used to it eventually, or are there other non-swaddling measures to soften the arm reflexes that might work better?

She's only 2.5 weeks and I just don't know what to do to help her. I'm kind of feeling like a failure as a mother, and am so scared that she'll get even fussier as she hits the 6-7 week window, and I'll never be able to cope!