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@Mrs D: We don't have postpartum nurses, all antenatal, labour and delivery, and postpartum care is done by midwives, unless a complication arises requiring an OB. They do the same job as nurses would do in the States. Like I said, I understand how it can be scary for those who have always expected to have that support - my mum was appalled that my hospital didn't have a nursery and still thinks it is crazy, but times have changed and ideas progress I guess. Still though, I hope everything goes well for you and you find your recovery and the hospital stay easy peasy!
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@Ree723: But what about the concept of "Mom Friendly" and sending a baby home in the care of a well rested person? They care enough to call me every other day and check for PPD but not this? I get being baby friendly - but maybe not at the cost of providing the mom sufficient care and support.
@babynumber1: So help me god if they take away my right to use a paci I'll freak out!!!
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Both babies were in the room with me and I didn't even think about the nursery until my mom asked about it. I had a long 36 hour labour and DH stayed overnight and the second was shorter but I stayed overnight alone. I had help from the night nurses when I needed it.
While I think it's great the nursery allows the mom to rest, I would be so stressed about whether I am nursing enough and having enough skin-to-skin to have my milk come in. I would worry that the nurses weren't bringing my baby to me frequently enough.
@snowjewelz: they did the bilirubin lights in the same room (brought the machine over).
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I think I would seriously consider another hospital if there was no option. I don't think it should be forced one way or another. I sent LO to the nursery the second night. My mom had told me she regretted not using it to get some rest with me, and I had only had a few hours sleep in a 48 hour period. When LO was in the room the first night, I'd get worried over every little peep and didn't get any sleep. DH was also exhausted and I knew I needed him to get rest so he could give me breaks at home, so I sent him home and sent LO to the nursery. The nurses were really supportive and encouraged me to do so. They brought LO back to nurse. I felt like a new person the next morning and I think it made me a better mom the next few days.
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@Hoots: I had a great experience with DD. I labored overnight and delivered at 1pm...so I had not slept in some time - add in that bit of adrenaline it was no problem getting through the day but come night time I was a wreck and exhausted. DD'd bassinett had a "Breast Feeding" label on it so the nursery knew she was NOT to be given a paci and was to be brought to me when she woke wanting to nurse. It worked great and I had no problem's establishing BFing. It was just so peaceful to have those few minutes even to close my eyes and not worry about her...
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@Mrs D: Yeah, I guess it's just the difference in the way maternity care is handled in different places. In Australia, and now here in England, we have midwives who come to our home every single day for as long as necessary starting either the day you are discharged from hospital or the next day. PPD is one of the things they look for, but it is mainly to check on all aspects of baby and mum to make sure everyone is thriving.
I guess I also don't see how much rest you truly get with the baby in the nursery if they bring the baby back to be fed every three hours (with the interval starting from the start of the baby's feed). I know my LOs nursed for ages in the beginning, so by the time the baby went back to the nursery, it would be less than two hours before they would be brought back again....
Anyway, I didn't mean to take over this conversation! It will be interesting to see if this becomes the norm in the States over time and how people's expectations adjust.....
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Our hospital has a nursery (although there was a $600 "nursery" charge for LO2, who spent a grand total of 2 hours there!)
I happily sent both babies to the nursery: both were champs from birth at breastfeeding (and came back to us at the first sign of hunger) and neither baby slept well initially or tolerated being put in the bassinet much. My husband and I were already holding them probably 18 hours of the day; taking a few hours to actually sleep seemed entirely reasonable to us.
I think a nursery serves the same role as an extended support network. I don't think we evolved to be solely responsible for our babies from the moment they are born; but we often no longer have a network that takes care of us and our families at these moments. A nursery at the hospital helps with this.
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@lawbee11: Yeah, I agree. Our hospital is certified Baby Friendly and doesn't have nurseries either. I would have been uncomfortable having my babies away from me for any length of time, so I'm glad they got to be in my room with me.
@snowjewelz: Some of the tests they did right in the room with us - they just wheeled in the equipment. But for circumcisions, they brought them to another room to do that.
@Mrs. Pickle: Ours was the same - during our tour they said they'd take the baby for a little while if you really wanted them to, but it wasn't really something they encouraged.
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Mine doesn't and I am a proponent of it. I think it is a good thing to have the baby in the room with mom/dad.
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@wonderstruck: with both my c-sections, they (nurses and LC) actually encouraged me to have baby in bed with me all night and sleep if I could. I could ring the bell for them to change diapers (I was alone as DH was at home with LO#1). Because it was my second I guess I didn't need help with getting latches etc. It's funny how hospitals differ in their approach.
Personally I would never send my child to the nursery (I interviewed too many mums for baby swap stories). However, I do think it is good for people to have the choice for situations like @Looch: described, which must have been terrifying.
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@Foodnerd81: I had the very same experience as you! I found myself unable to sleep when she would finally sleep herself - I was just laying there watching her every move... after being awake for two days I knew the best thing I could do was to let them watch her for a few hours.
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I delivered LO1 at a very baby friendly women's hospital and as many others have said, there simply was no nursery! LO had her testing done in the room and spent 24hrs under the lights, also in my room.
I personally didn't want LO away from me for those first two nights anyways - heck I haven't wanted her out of my sight since she was born. The nurses were great and were always available to help and offer support.
But really, what are two nights sleep in the grand scheme of things? Life with a newborn = no sleep anyways.
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@Mrs D: Hopefully your nurses will be supportive if you ask them to take the baby for a bit. It must've been a bummer for your friend to have been stuck with a bad apple who made her feel badly about it.
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I was very relieved when the nurse offered to take DD2 for a few hours in the nursery so we could sleep. Newborns can be quite noisy even when they are sleeping and both DH and I were exhausted. I don't care for the "baby friendly" initiative. I like rooming in with the baby (she still sleeps in our room at home) but sometimes everyone needs to rest while they are in the hospital.
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I think the baby friendly initiative is flawed because there needs to be support for moms too. I didn't breastfeed because I didn't have support AFTER the hospital stay, not because my daughter went to the nursery. I will say with my son I did feel like rooming in was a positive experience and would have helped me continue bf'ing had I been inclined to do so (didn't for medical reasons) BUT that's because my labor was much shorter and he is easily soothed. With my daughter I was in labor for over two days! Mostly at home! And she cried til 4am when one of the nurses said to let her take baby. I definitely think there should be an option. And I think the baby friendly initiative needs to include home visits for those who want them. Because especial if with your first it can feel impossible when you're struggling to get out of the house.
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Our hospital is baby-friendly, but there is still a small nursery where the doctors do the check-ups and the NICU. H spent some time in the nursery her first night and I wasn't really able to rest with her gone. Between them always coming in to check my vitals, nurses bringing me the baby to eat, and the adrenaline from birth, I wasn't able to get any rest.
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@Mrs D: bring your own pacifier if you are sure you want to use one! My friend is delivering at a hospital that is in process of getting certified as baby friendly and her OB specifically mentioned they wouldn't offer it to her and supposedly they don't have them there at all (in reality they do have them to be available for certain testing and stuff anyway). My LO never took one anyway so this never phased me but her son loved his and she is definitely bringing her own.
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I guess that is probably an overriding difference here.
A nurse working at a hospital that has had this policy for some time probably are not encountering as many moms who are surprised by this and like many of you prefer to have the babies room in.
In my case - this hospital has only recently made the change (like September/October) so I am not dealing with recovery nurses who are prone to stepping up like that - bc they have too been accustomed to being able to utilize the nursery. Possibly leading to the experience my friend had - the nurses lean towards shaming/pushing rooming in even when its not a great idea for the mom bc its not a part of their normal routine to also care for the newborn at the nurses station.
Just my thought. I'll survive - and it will be fine. Just means I need to figure out who I am going to have with me the second night as I was planning for DH to be home with DD1.
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I have no strong feelings either way. Everyone to their own. I think a nursery option is nice for those who want it.
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I had a 51 hour induction/labor and a very bad hemorrhage right after delivery. I was a mess. The nurses took my daughter both nights without even being asked so I could try to catch up on sleep and recover. I don't know how I would have made it otherwise.
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I should add that the nurses did bring her to me to breastfeed.
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It's interesting, I didn't realize any hospitals still had this! I see baby nurseries on tv and think "Hmm, guess this was filmed in the 90s" - clearly I just was not aware, but for some reason I had it in my head that this was a thing they used to do but didn't anymore.
The hospital I delivered at didn't have one. I did have a c section, but my son's bassinet was on wheels and pretty level with the bed so I could get him out from bed. It was interesting because it was drilled into us over and over "This is YOUR baby, nobody takes him out of the room without one of you going with him, either the mom or dad should always be with him". They did all the tests on him in the room.
But then I also see people here suggesting you bring your own pacifier - at our hospital you have to bring EVERYTHING, even diapers. They basically issue you one giant pad per person, for everything else you're on your own. So maybe in general the Canadian system is different than the American?
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@Ms maths: I like your approach to this topic! well said.
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@Foodnerd81: I took one last time but only for emergencies. Thankfully too because night 2 we learned DD was a comfort sucker...so it saved my nipples! Will definitely have one for this one too...hidden in my bag!
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I'm in New Zealand and as far as I know baby nurseries haven't been an option for years here. I also think I've read far too many stories about babies being given formula or paci's without Mum's permission while in the nursery to feel comfortable. Having said that, a very kind midwife did take my big girl for a few hours on her first night so that I could sleep but when it came to having my second child I was much more comfortable with the idea of just enjoying him rather than feeling shell shocked.
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@oliviaoblivia: and where do they put the baby? The nurses station? In the hospital where I delivered, I discovered they used the bathing room, which is somehow worse to me than having a dedicated, monitored nursery. I can't even think about what would have happened if I did need surgery in that situation.
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My hospital doesn't have a nursery. It has a very small nicu, and if you really need to, they will allow you to take the baby there if another baby is already there.
But for my first, one of the night nurses just offered to hold him so I could get some sleep.
For my second, he had low blood sugar and had to feed every two hours, and then be tested one hour after he ate. So he was up every hour. It was really rough. They came in the room, and I eventually just stopped getting out of bed for the testing. I felt kind of guilty, but I just needed rest. I can see how a nursery would have helped a bit, but honestly I would have been up so much anyway. He ended up needing some formula, and I just slept while the nurse gave him a bottle.
My hospital is working on the baby friendly designation and honestly they were amazing. We had nurses in the room helping whenever we needed it. We never felt like we were just left on our own.
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@snowjewelz: at my hospital that equipment was in the room! It was a rather large room!
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Our hospital is certified baby friendly so while there is no traditional nursery where all the newborn babies hang out as a matter of course, there is a small nursery on the recovery floor where certain procedures are performed - while rooming in is strongly encouraged and nurses will come to your room to help out, if you want to send the baby there for a few hours while you sleep, they will absolutely take him/her.
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Mine didn't have a nursery! But I can see some needing that time, everyone is different
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My hospital was funny - they told on the tour, and in the birthing class that there was no nursery except in special care situations. But then the nurses offered to take DS a couple times, lol. I did not take them up on it, I refused to have him out of our sight. Even with two nights of basically no sleep, I still wanted him close by. But then, my biggest problem the 2nd night wasn't having a newborn - it was the stupid pressure cuffs on my legs that prevent clots (I had a c-section). They went off LOUDLY every 15 minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
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@looch: nurses station I guess. There is a nicu but I don't know if they'd use it in that instance.
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they didn't have a nursery in our hospital. they took the baby for bathing but that was it. i think they would've taken the baby if requested, but otherwise the baby stays with the mom. for me, it worked fine, i wasn't going to put the baby in the nursery anyway. after a long 9 months of anticipation i wanted to be with my baby as much as possible! but i understand some people have harder and longer deliveries and need to rest. so i would hope that most places would take a baby for a couple hours even without a so-called nursery if requested!
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@Mrs D: Many hospitals here are seeking the "baby friendly" designation, but I agree with you, they are not super mom-friendly. I specifically chose a hospital that was farther away because it did have a nursery. I wanted the baby with me most of the time, but I did want some sleep so I could function. My baby was a noisy sleeper and I felt anxious about going to sleep when she was alone in the room with me, so I was grateful for the opportunity to send her to the nursery for 2-3 hours so I could have a nap. I had to stay 2 nights and that's the max that I sent her for each night but I was incredibly grateful to be able to do that.
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Just when I thought we had run out of topics to be sanctimommies on...here comes the judgement on moms who use hospital nurseries. Never change, Hellobee.
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Idk doesn't bother me either way. I sent LO to nursery the first night for 3-4 hours so I could get a bit of sleep. But I would have been just fine to hold her and sleep in the bed. But the nurses told me the nursery was empty and a nurse would hold LO tho whole time anyway. So I thought why not?! It was a nice option for me, but not something that I really needed
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Not sure if it's a Canadian thing but neither hospital I was in for my very long labor and delivery with DD a couple years ago had a nursery and it wasn't a recent change. I figure that at some point you're going to have to get used to functioning on little sleep and still caring for baby so what's the difference if it's night 1 in the hospital or night 3 at home. But as a first time mom I liked taking advantage of having the nurses close by to ask questions while I was learning how to do everything rather then having her in the nursery while in the hospital and then going home and having to figure stuff out on my own with no experienced people nearby so for me I liked having her with me.
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Ours had one, but it's use was discouraged. Or, maybe not discouraged but not offered up. I think had I asked (or begged) I could have used it. There were certainly babies in there. But God bless the nursing assistant who took the baby at 2 am for her hearing test and my husband groggily called out "maybe you can keep her just a few extra minutes". Bless that woman. She rocked our girl in a rocking chair for two hours and let us get some sleep. This was after a 24 hour induction process plus another 18 hours no sleep plus no milk coming in (nothing, nada) and a screaming newborn.
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@Littlebit: mommy wars continue..
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@Pancakes: @Mrs D: So I mentioned earlier that my hospital is now "Baby Friendly." So they're all pro-breastfeeding, etc, etc, etc. Hilariously, when I come back to work (I work for the health system), their designated pumping room for nursing employees who work in my hospital is in another building - I have to go off-site to find some random room in the sleep lab of our outpatient building. Yeah. Soooo...baby friendly until you leave the hospital, I guess.
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