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@meredithNYC: hey! So are you.
@t.h.o.u really? I have literally no response for the idea that anyone in history's ever had a baby and thought "hey! Vacation time!"
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@catomd00: youre just assuming that all newborns sleep except to eat. Not my experience. I spent 3 nights in the hospital with my first and by the third night of him being awake all night, I sent him to the nursery so I could sleep.
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@Charm54: I also can't imagine why someone would choose to forego an epidural because ow! But funny how no one would have a problem with someone saying that because going med free is for some reason perceived as a positive. how is it any different?! There's a lot of things I don't understand in the world - like how someone can kill another person, but again no one has an issue with saying that and screaming judgement.
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@winniebee: no I'm not, my baby didn't sleep more than an hour tops at a time in the hospital and spent the entire second night screaming. So yeah i get it. My husband suggested sending her to the nursery so we could rest a bit before we went home and still couldn't imagine doing it. It's not me judging anyone it's my feelings and opinions that I'm entitled to whether anyone else likes it, or agrees with it.
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@T.H.O.U.:My hospital only allows you to use the nursery one night of your stay. Hardly anyone is in the hospital for a week anymore. So I highly doubt anyone is using it as a week long babysitting service.
After getting no sleep while in labor overnight, we sent her to the nursery. She was in my arms every three hours on the dot. So really we only got 1-2 hours of sleep at a time. We still had no issues with BF.
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@cookiemomster: my SIL. Worlds finest over here.
My opinion: hospitals shouldn't have to be required to offer nursery services to all patients.
My justification : I would not have used one even after my two long inductions. I personally could not have imagined letting an unknown person watch over her without me overseeing her care (who's to know how long the baby cries before they bring her back. Who's to know they wash their hands before treating her). I felt like the bonding time was important.
End of discussion. My opinion my feelings.
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Well that's great. No ones going to make you take the option. But making snide comments on a thread started by someone lamenting the loss of that choice is never going to be productive.
I won't even comment on the idea that you just went from nurses being healthcare professionals whose time we are all wasting to untrustworthy strangers. No judgement or snark, after all.
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@catomd00: I'm not accusing yo u of anything, but your original post certainly made it sound like you thought all babies slept at night.....
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@cookiemomster: the unfortunate reality is that those same healthcare professionals new mothers place their trust in have been known to completely disregard the wishes of parents and perform interventions that were neither requested nor medically required. I have no dog in this fight either way but I can see where @T.H.O.U.: is coming from.
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@cookiemomster: yeah I don't really understand the notion that a nurse is an incompetent stranger, either, which has been implied by multiple people on this thread.
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@cookiemomster: yes that's my point. They are busy healthcare professionals that can't immediately tend to each baby immediately if crying.
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@Kemma: just curious what interventions are you taking about?
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Our hospital was also seeking baby friendly certification and encouraged rooming in. Of course in theory I couldn't have imagined sending her away to the nursery. But on our second night after 3 days of no sleep I thought I was losing my damn mind. We were brand new parents and I had basically no idea what to do with this crying baby yet so we sent her with the nurse for a few hours to catch up on a little sleep and I have zero regrets about that. It couldn't have affected our relationship less.
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@T.H.O.U.: in my experience, if your baby is crying for any length of time, they bring the baby directly back to you.
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I agree with you! I think it's awful too. That's a bummer they removed them. I'm all for baby friendly, but what about mom friendly? You don't have the help of nurses when you go home, so what's the harm of getting a couple hours of sleep to become human again, when a nurse is caring for your baby? They still have them in the hospital I delivered in, but they encourage you to room in. Some nurses were really against the nursery (actually, only 1!) and some nurses were like, please. Let me take your baby so you can rest! We sent her to the nursery for a couple of hours the first night. For us it was a game changer! I couldn't get up as I had a csection so it was all on my husband. And my daughter screamed all. night. long. A wonderful angel like nurse gently suggested that she would go rock her in the nursery while we got some sleep. She brought her back 2 hours later so I could nurse and it made the world of difference.
It's really disappointing!
ETA - I didn't read through this thread, just the original post!
Also, the L&D and maternity ward nurses I encounterd were beyond amazing. They make you feel like your baby is the only baby they are caring for. I felt very comfortable sending her to the nursery.
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After reading your post I am terrified our hospital may have done the same. We had the most wonderful nurse with our son in 2013. After a long labor and emergency c-section she forced the nursery on me the first night and I was never more thankful. We used it three out of our four night.
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Neither of the two hospitals I delivered in had nurseries, it wasn't even on my radar or thought process when we initially chose where to deliver.
The first night after DS was born I didn't sleep, not because he was awake but because I was over tired and my mind was racing. By the second night in hospital I was exhausted. I fed DS and put him to bed next to me and I crashed out. I had been expressing bottles as I had an over supply, and when he woke for his next feed one of the midwives picked him up and gave him one of my bottles and let me sleep for a few hours. Although there was no nursery, she cuddled him at their station as it was a quiet night being Father's Day the next day. After being awake for 2 days plus straight I appreciate what she did so much!
If there was a nursery I never would have chosen to put DS there, and DD was in special care so I didn't have that option. But the midwives and nurses on the ward still look after their patients the best they can, nursery or no nursery.
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I was fine with my kiddos rooming in, because they weren't colicky and I always had a lot of colostrum and I had really run-of-the-mill births. But I've had too many friends and families with terrible high risk birth situations to think everyone should be fine with it because I was fine with it.
I also think choices are good.
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@iheartleopardprint: that's so interesting that she did that for you. I haven't heard that being the norm in hospitals without nurseries though. Are you in the U.S.?
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I personally don't see how a woman who just gave birth could abuse having a nursery at her disposal. Even if she kept the baby in the nursery for the entire night so she could sleep....so what. I don't buy the whole "childbirth is just another regular day" stuff. Personally, I think even a woman who's had a super "easy' birth has been through a lot and shouldn't have to do anything she doesn't want to for the 6 weeks, except rest and recover and bond with the baby (in the way she sees fit). If we had better postpartum help for mothers, and lower expectations, who knows? Maybe PPD rates would fall.
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We had the option with A but I didn't want her to leave. No option with E. I was fine with it!
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@winniebee: I am in Australia, and both deliveries where at public hospitals (ie it cost me $0 to deliver and stay there).
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I'm a pretty anxious person -- I don't think I could have let baby be away from me that early. I had a home birth (so obviously I didn't have the decision to make), but overall the fact some hospitals won't let partners stay overnight to support the mom (???) seems sad.
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@Kemma: exactly! My daughger was breastfed and they had to take her to the nursery before we left to check her blood sugar. I specifically told them no pacifiers and it was also written on her bassinet, and to please bring her back as soon as she cried or needed fed. It was taking a really long time and as I was waiting for the nurse to come
So I could ask where she was, the LC came in and informed me my baby was in the nursery sucking on a pacifier. Not the end of the world but not something that should have happened. I love nurses and think they're great most of the time, but I still trust my daycare provider I have hand chosen more than a nurse I have never met. Maybe I'm just Jaded from working in healthcare though, specifically hospital quality and safety. -
lol, someday a nurse will wipe more than half of your asses for you.One of the nurses in the *GASP* nursery found E's PPHN. Possibly could've saved her life, since everyone else missed it.
I personally couldn't wait to give birth, then hand it off to a possibly incompetent nurse. Why did I even have children?!
Seriously, though, the whole "baby friendly" and "mom friendly" thing smells of a marketing gimmick. Bought hook, line, and sinker.
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@blackbird: the clapping emoji doesn't show up or else I would use it.
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@blackbird:
Hahahaha
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I agree that all of this pressure to be super mom from minute 1 of the baby's life is likely contributing to PPD for many women. Hospitals giving options is a good thing. Hospitals pushing nursery or pushing rooming in-- neither seem right.
I was at a baby-friendly accredited hospital that still had a nursery and they took DS1 for a few hours both nights so I could sleep. I'd lost a ton of blood and was exhausted. We bonded just fine and I BFed exclusively for 13 months.If rooming in worked best for you, fab. But that doesn't mean others shouldn't have the option. Just like many of you wouldn't like it if you weren't allowed to room in. The pendulum is always swinging one way and then the other.
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@blackbird: I
you!
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@travellingbee: exactly! If you don't want to use it fine. But it should be an option for those that want it.
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@blackbird: I always felt like the nurses at my hospital were way more competent than I was! Other than sharing DNA with them and having boobs (which were useless in the beginning because my kids were so small and couldn't latch until I saw an LC and started using nipple shields...) I was not at all specially equipped to handle my babies. We cuddled and whatnot and tried as much skin to skin and nursing, but Alice still screamed at me from the minute we met. Maybe there was something wrong with me, but that was my experience. I mean, we both got over it, so that's fine. But I never felt like I was trying to hand her over to strangers on the street. I had to watch YouTube videos to figure out how to diaper and bathe my kids. The nurses were definitely more knowledgeable than I was!
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@twodoghouse: yes- I was trying to figure out how to say this. I felt like the nurses were much better equipped to take care of her than I was at first. I mean, for the most part they were there to help me learn, but I had no idea what I was doing. And I have complete faith that they respected my wishes not to give formula or pacifiers during the two hours they had her.
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I used the nursery/nurse and don't feel an ounce of guilt. Should have used it more. I went into labor at 8 PM, so by the time my son was born we'd been up 32 hours straight. Aften guests left and the adrenaline started to wear off, we were both exhausted (37 hours of no sleep at that point). I'd pushed for thee hours and could barely keep my eyes open. The hospital wouldn't let us swaddle and my son has a very strong Moro reflex, so he screamed every time we tried to put him down, so my husband was holding him in the middle of the night, exhausted, so he kept falling asleep and getting in trouble. So we sent the baby to the nursery where the nurses held hom for a couple hours at a time so we could sleep. I think he went twice for two hours each and it was awesome. We were asleep, so it's not like we missed out on bonding. They brought him to me to feed and we had great breastfeeding. If my son would sleep in the bassinet, rooming in would have been fine, but ad it was, I was glad to have the option. Having the option doesn't hurt parents who choose to room in, but not having the option hurts those that need it.
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@blackbird:
The latest comments about postpartum care reminded me of this great article I read right after I had my son and it hit home so hard. (Many of you have probably seen it already, but I love it so I'll share anyway). A bit off topic, but not entirely:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/08/15/america-s-postpartum-practices.html
ETA: I just have to say this - saying that sending the baby to the nursery vs rooming in impacts bonding can be a little hurtful - what about moms and babies like me who had the baby in the NICU for several days? Are we less bonded to our babies? I can assure you that my son who spent the first 48 hours of his life seeing me once for 10 minutes and had zero skin to skin because he was swept away right after my c section is bonded to me just fine. I guess when he's 13 and hates me I'll have an excuse.
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I liked having my daughter room in with me. I don't think a nursery was an option for us, but even if it was, I wouldn't have used it. I liked having her close by.
I think the rooming in helped us with establishing breast feeding
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I didn't mean to stir up such a debate.
However...I don't like the idea of discouraging moms for raising their hands and asking for help - for whatever reason it is. It needs to be ok for us to ask for help, an extra hour nap, a quick break or whatever it is to help U.S. be the best mom we can to our little ones.
I don't think the majority are using nurseries as a vacation. In my case it was basically between midnight and 6 am...and she was brought back to me twice for feedings in that time. So really I used it for two 1 hour naps - which felt amazing.
Whatever the facts are - I'm disappointed at the loss of a choice. And I generally dislike when others tell me what is best for my family - thanks I'll take it under advisement but would like to make those choices for myself....every family is different...
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I just had 2nd baby at a private hospital, not 'baby friendly" accredited, and she spent 4 out of 6 nights in the nursery. that being maybe 3 hours each over 3 nights and then 24 hrs under lights, but it was a lifesaver for me. they brought her in for feeding, no judgement and no guilt. absolute angels those midwives were, gave me lots of help and tips on how to settle baby as well as feeding help.
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@Mrs D: didn't you say it was a cost cutting measure
Though? It's still a loss of choice but if it's for cost containment, it's not about telling you what is best for you. Our healthcare system is broken and this is just another example. The majority of hospitals are operating at a very low margin these days and even the most successful ones are struggling to keep their doors open right now. It's only natural that non-essential and non-medical services like a newborn nursery would be among the first to go when cutting services. It may also be that they have found the majority of parents don't use the nursery so it was costing a lot to staff it and keep it open for a small number of people. At the end of the day, hospitals are businesses that need to make smart financial decisions in order to best serve the majority of their patients and keep their doors open. We would be kind of screwed without them.Like many have said, if you find yourself in dire need of someone to take your baby, it sounds like most hospitals without nurseries are still more than happy to help.
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@T.H.O.U.: I'm sorry but are you actually serious? You're afraid the nurses might not wash their hands before treating your baby? Why in the world would you even consider delivering a baby in a place where that is a legitimate concern of yours?
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@Truth Bombs: you'd be shocked to know how many health care professionals at all levels do not abide by proper hand hygiene techniques. That is and should be a legitimate concern for anyone in a hospital because proper hand hygiene is one of the easiest ways to stop spread of infection.
Hahahaha
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