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I think this idea that we have to "do" something is a bit misleading. I mean, you can do something. You can do any one of the many methods out there, and if your child is already basically ready, or at least receptive, you will be successful. But the majority of it is on the child. Just like with eating, we adults can "do" a lot of stuff, but if the child isn't having it, it just isn't going to happen. I think you're right to want to make sure that she's ready and not push too hard. I think if the method doesn't sit right with you, it's not a good fit. You're already doing all the right things. You're helping her learn about her body so she can start to be aware of the cues that will eventually let her know to head for the potty. You've made a potty available to her to use. You're respecting her autonomy and letting her interest set the tone. You're doing great. Lorelei is just now in underwear at 3.5. Quite late compared to Ellie, but it was so easy. For a long time she just insisted she wanted diapers. It was a little hard sometimes for me because I had the feeling that she could totally be in underwear if she just tried. But, whatever. She wasn't ready and it seemed like forcing it would just cause issues on both ends, and I doubt that conflict would have made me feel any better. But then one day she just decided she wanted to use the potty and that was it. No particular method, no rules; she was just ready and so she did it. We did end up having her go underwearless for a while because for a little while if she was wearing anything remotely like a cloth diaper/trainers she would sometimes just pee because she didn't understand that the underwear weren't absorbent. She was frustrated, and when we tried going without the underwear it seemed to help. Now she can wear underwear no problem. She still has the rare accident, but she's doing great. You'll get there! Maybe check your library and see if there are any books that stand out to you if you want to do a more structured approach.

@Mrs. Carrot: My son is almost 3.5, and we just trained him in August using the Oh Crap method. I will say, we started around 18 months, just loosely, and he would go now and again when we sat him on the potty. Just before his 2nd birthday, he even used the little potty to go #2 all by himself. I thought for sure he'd just decide one day that he was done with diapers, and that it would just happen naturally. Then he turned 3, then started approaching 3.5, and I finally decided for him that it had to happen. I didn't think the book was aggressive in the method, but it did make me feel like a shitty parent because she kept stressing how he HAD to be trained ASAP because he was so old. Now that we're past it, and he's already night-trained and everything, I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself, but I also wish I had admitted to myself that he was ready ages ago, he just needed a little push from us. He was never going to train himself. But there also seems to be no lasting effects of waiting so long, like she harps about in the book. He's doing fabulous, even though he was older than 3. In fact, I think it went so quick and painless (never upset, no crying) because he was so much older and really really ready. I think I just needed to be ready for it, too. Good luck!

@Mrs. Carrot: I'm in the same boat as you- our LOs are about the same age (26 months) and she shows some interest, but not really. I read Oh Crap and felt like I was going to miss the window too, especially since we are having a new baby in December. I was all geared up to start this weekend. But... I'm too tired and impatient and I think my impatience will ultimately be worse for potty training than waiting too long. So I'm back to waiting until she seems really really ready and crossing my fingers that that happens. If it doesn't we will reevaluate in the spring.

I don't think you need to get over anything. Forcing a child to try to potty train when they're not ready is a terrible, awful idea. My niece was forced like that and she rebelled by smearing poop on walls, by peeing on her parents shoes, etc etc. At 4.5 she's still barely trained, and not at all at night. My older daughter just basically trained herself at 2.5, with no drama. My second one will do the same, whenever she's ready.