During the week, I usually nurse my son (12m) morning and night. Unfortunately, I have to leave for work before he'd normally be up for the day, so I wake him up to nurse him and then he goes back to sleep. He's been on a nursing strike since Friday though, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. Everything I've heard says continue to offer and to offer often... but he was pissed when I woke him this morning and then just had to put him back to bed when he refused to eat. Thoughts?
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I'd never wake a kid that old to eat. Can you just pump before you leave?
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I wouldn't wake him.
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If he were younger I would keep waking him, since without that you don't have many opportunities to offer. But since he's over a year old, maybe just pump.
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Depends on where you want your breastfeeding relationship to go from here. If you want to continue breastfeeding, I'd wake and offer and if he didn't feed I'd pump to keep my supply up.
Is this a sudden strike? Is he teething? (Sorry, haven't read your other thread).
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I wouldn't wake him. He's old enough to skip it.
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I wouldn't wake him at 12 months and I would probably pump instead.
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@QBbride: I do want to keep nursing. I'm not ready to be done forever. The strike came on suddenly, so I don't think he is weaning. I think he might be teething, but besides not nursing, he doesn't seem bothered by it.
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@Mrs.Someone: @T.H.O.U.: @PawPrints: @Dandelion: @autumnlove: I'm worried that if I'm only offering the breast once a day, he'll never come back to it...
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At this point, I wouldn't wake him. I know you're not ready but perhaps he is and maybe you should just follow his cues. I was shocked when dd1 weaned the day I stopped offering but ultimately I believe in following their cues because it's not about me and my needs.
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With a baby that old, I wouldn't wake him to eat.
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I wouldn't wake him.
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@Adira: if you do want to keep nursing, I'd absolutely wake him and continue to offer. You're right - if you only offer it once a day he might not come back to it (plus your supply will suffer). I'm surprised nobody else is saying to wake him!!
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@QBbride: I just feel like at age 1, the baby can decide if he wants to nurse...food is the main source of nutrition after age 1. I wouldn't want to be woken up to eat if I wasn't asking for it, so I'm guessing a 1 year old wouldn't either. I have a 1 year old as well....still nursing 2x a day and not weaning yet and definitely would be sad if he said no more....but I also would follow his lead on this.
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@QBbride: I'm a big proponent of not waking a sleeping baby/toddler/husband/etc.
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@Tidybee: I understand what you are saying, but I do feel confident that this is a strike and not weaning...
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@winniebee: @BandDmommy: You guys think he'll still come back to nursing eve if I'm only offering once a day five days of the week?
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@Adira: I have no idea. I just don't wake sleeping kids. It's your choice.
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@Adira: Maybe not, but I just can't imagine waking a 1 year old to nurse....I also don't understand why he's not considered to be weaning versus a strike. I am so sorry that this is so hard, and I feel bad for you! But you asked what I would do and I would continue to offer when he is awake and if he chooses not to nurse, I would consider him weaned.
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If you think it's a strike you just pump to get through. Waking him and upsetting him if he doesn't want it isn't going to help him get past the strike.
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@Adira: Another thing....do you think he's sensing pressure to nurse? Like are you happy and relaxed when offering, or do you think maybe he senses that this is really important to you? I'm a Janet Lansbury junkie and she is big into kids picking up on our emotions and desires, no matter how young.
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@winniebee: weaning is generally considered to be a more gradual process rather than baby just quitting cold turkey.
@Adira: is there any way you could get a day off to take a nursing "vacation" with your wee dude? I'm just thinking that spending a day in close contact with lots of skin to skin and free access to the breast might help get him nursing again?
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@Kemma: interesting. I think Adira recently went from 4x a day to 2x a day, so I don't know, maybe he just decided after that he was done?
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@winniebee: From everything I've read, a strike happens suddenly, whereas weaning is much more gradual. Every indication to me is that this is a strike. But I got what you and @T.H.O.U.: are saying.
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This might make you feel better: since DD was about 5 months old, she's only nursed 1x/day on weekdays. She takes a bottle of pumped milk before bed because she sleeps better that way, and we have no trouble nursing first thing in the morning five days a week and then all day on the weekends. Hope that's encouraging!
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I hear you on not wanting it to be over, and if your intuition is to keep offering, I'd go with that. You'll know after a few days whether it's a strike, whether it's messing with his sleep, it's teething, etc.
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@winniebee: @Kemma: Actually, I was still nursing 4x on the weekend. It's just 2x during the week, but that's how it's been for months. The only real change has been that we've been bottle weaning at daycare, so he wasn't getting as many bottles... but I wouldn't have thought that would affect our nursing relationship?
@Kemma: That's a great suggestion, but I probably won't be able to take a day off, just because I don't have a lot of vacation time and I'm already planning on using some of it for daycare closings around the holidays (which I'll also have the toddler, so won't be great for nursing either).
@winniebee: I'm not sure! I've been trying really hard not to pressure him and just be all "Okay, maybe later!" when he refuses, but it's definitely hard and I do feel stressed and frustrated, so he probably is picking up on that. But I just don't know how to NOT feel this shitty about it.
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@mfa_lady: That's actually how it was with my oldest too before he weaned. We only nursed in the morning and he took bottles the rest of the time and we had no issues. I'm just afraid to limit how much I'm offering during a strike...
@MoonMoon: Thanks, friend.
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@Adira: have you tried nursing in the bath with him?
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@Kemma: I haven't - do you think that will work?? I've seen a couple articles suggesting that. That might be the next thing I try.
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@Adira: i saw on our other thread that you have your period. this might very well be the culprit!!!
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@winniebee: I've never heard of that being an issue (besides affecting supply, which mine seems okay)! Do you think that could really be the cause??
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@Adira: i've read milk can taste different...your supply might also be really crappy which is making him annoyed / not worth it if he can't get a let down. did the strike start before your period?
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@winniebee: I started spotting that day and then he started refusing me that night. But then he nursed okay the following morning and then was full into the strike after that.
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@Adira: i'm certainly no expert but the timing is really suspicious.
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@winniebee: Thanks. I'll at least try to be patient while I'm on my period and hope that's the culprit.
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Re: timing for weaning...I've only weaned once but I was feeding twice a day and at 14 months decided to no longer offer it and see what she would do. She never asked for it again so it was definitely "sudden."
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@Tidybee: When Xander weaned, I continued to offer and he just nursed for less and less time each day until one day he didn't nurse at all. It was very gradual and wasn't sudden at all. With Logan, I'm offering and he's refusing, which seems more like a strike to me. Of course, if it never ends, I guess he'll have weaned! I just don't believe that's the intention behind his refusal at the moment.
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@Adira: I haven't been through this but I think I have read some kids just wake up one day and don't want to nurse anymore.
Can I ask why you think it is a strike and not weaning? Is it more that you want it to be a strike cause you aren't ready? I am sure it is hard since he is your last baby. Hugs! If it is a strike, I hope it is a quick one. -
@Smurfette: Well, it started with me trying to nurse him one day and he screamed bloody murder and freaked out! At the time I thought maybe it was because of an ear infection or teething because he was scratching at his ears. The next morning though, he did nurse, but he's been refusing ever since then. It just seemed too sudden to be weaning... ?
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42 comments