So I posted a bunch about all my work drama a few months ago and so I thought I would update.

(Back story: my org hired a ED who no one liked, almost everyone quit, I decided to quit on my mat leave cause I was miserable, they said that my use of the sick fund was only for employees who planned on returning to work, offered me a raise (which they didn't have the funding for),
I agreed to work ten hours a week from home until January).

So here is the update: the ED quit. I briefly thought about staying on, but then I found out instead of hiring, they are promoting two of my new coworkers to be co-EDs. One of whom I just couldn't stand working with and was a large reason I quit. I realize bad coworkers are a fact of life, but these two plus the ED were all friends and there was just no working around them.

I still just can't believe it. Her work is terrible. I did a good chunk of her job for her while I was there. I don't think I should have been ED or anything but it's just such a bad choice it's frustrating. My FIL is on the board too which makes it a bit awkward. I'm just keeping my mouth shut.

So I'm staying home. I'm not thrilled about it, I would have rather been working at that job (although not in those circumstances.) But I'd rather be at home than looking for work or starting over right now.

It's a little tough. I feel like I've lost a huge part of my identity. I hate hearing people say how lucky I am (yes, so lucky to have daycare be so expensive it doesn't make financial sense for me to work and to have my office implode). I hate hearing how it's better for kids. I'm pretty sure my oldest was done in care, thankyouverymuch. Staying at home is more work than I thought it would be. When I worked PT, I had to spend a lot of my two days at home catching up on housework. So I thought I would have more free time because "I did everything a SAH mom did plus I worked." Except now I have messes to clean up every day, and someone always making another. And I can't ask DH to take the kids if someone is sick - it's always going to be me. Even little errands that I could have done to or from work are big chores taking two kids with me now.

On the other hand it's good. LO has lots of allergies so it's nice not worrying about him at daycare. And lo2 needs physical therapy so I can work with him more. And I can control what they do and how they are taught/disciplined more, which is a good thing with my oldest's personality.

But I miss feeling intelligent and important. I was kind of embarrassed telling everyone I met at DH's office party I SAHed. I realize this is way more about my insecurities than anything else. I just needed to blab.

Eta. The point of this post was the work from home gig is over now and I'm just at home as of today.