Does anyone else know anyone who really thought their lives weren't going to change when they had a baby? Friends of ours had twins and before they were born, they swore their lives wouldn't change much. After the babies were born, we didn't see it them for two years! Ha!
Anyone else know someone who really thought their lives would not change with a baby?
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Yes, and it is not a healthy outlook to have and she suffered from PPD.
Life WILL be different and it may take a while to accept this fact. But it is not necessarily going to be different in a bad way -- just different, and most of it is wonderful. I really do feel like having an LO turned me into a real grown up, though. There is no greater responsibility than a baby who is fully dependent on you. At least I never had that level of responsibility previously.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Wow. Seriously not a realistic and healthy outlook!
My baby just sneezed a juicy sneeze on my arm.. 
haha. She's changed my life for the better! Love her so much 
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I really don't think some people's lives change that much. Others change a lot. I personally changed a lot, but that's mostly because I quit my job to stay at home. So, yeah my life changed drastically, especially since a lot of my time was spent traveling, shopping, eating out, going to spas, etc. I was very self-focused.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but our lives didn't change much. Yes, we've grown and adjusted as people (and of course, as parents), but our day-to-day life hasn't been affected.
I'm a SAHM mom now, so that's a change -- but it's what we always planned for and hoped for, so it wasn't a huge shock to suddenly be staying home all the time.
We still have a social life, we just take Little Jumper with us. She's so well behaved in public for being so young (6 months), and she's never cried while out to dinner or at the mall.
We still travel (Just spent a weekend in DC) and have a few more road trips planned this summer, including a week at the beach.
Our financial situation has not changed, but has instead improved. I work from home in the evenings, and now that I'm concentrating on this full-time (compared to part-time, when I also worked outside the home) I'm having much more success in my business. On top of that, we're spending less on take-out (we both bought lunch every day before) and on gas (I've filled up my tank three times since Christmas).
In all honesty, this was the best move for us. Being a parent has it's ups and downs, it's easy days and hard days, but no... my life has not significantly changed.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Interesting. I think the big thing with this couple was that they said this and then their lives DID change drastically. They were always going out for beers, eating out, spending time away from the house with just the two of them. When the kids came along, they stopped all of that all together and stopped communicating with friends. It was like they disappeared for 2 years before they found they could still be adults and parents.
I think our situation is a bit more realistic than that. We don't do much outside of the house and expect what we do do to drop off a bit. We aren't big drinkers but figure we can take a child with us when we do go out to eat (when we can afford to). The biggest change for us will be dealing with not having much time to ourselves on the weekdays anymore with daycare drop off, work, daycare pick up, dinner, bedtime and our couple time.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@mediagirl: oh ok. my life hasn't change THAT drastically b/c i haven't disappeared from the world. like @looch said, i used to just focus mainly on myself, whereas now, i have to factor the LO into all of my decision making. but i really did used to like doing absolutely NOTHING on the weekends and now we are always go-go-go with a toddler.
also, maybe whether or not you have family around to help you is a big consideration. there is a HUGE difference between people raising kids on their own and raising kids with family to pitch in and help out. my friends who have some family help have a MUCH easier time than us. that is not to be taken for granted and i feel like people who have family help do take it for granted sometimes.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I knew my life would change, but I didn't realize it would be this much! My friend just asked me if things are different with a baby. OMG yes!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I know my life is going to change but I'm looking forward to it. Whenever I say that to someone with kids in person they look at me like I'm crazy and spend the next 30 minutes telling me why I'm wrong, lol!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Our lives didn't really change that much either-- at least until #2 came along. The only significant change is that we didn't go to as many movies or to as many concerts, not that we were going to that many before Lala was born anyway.
pear / 1837 posts
In some ways, I think our life is more different now with LO at one year old than it was when he was 3 months old.
Then, we didn't sleep and had this potted plant to carry around, but we could still kind of go wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted.
Now we're much more restricted since LO can't just sit through an hour-long meal at a restaurant in a carseat, and needs constant attention on plane trips, and can't just sleep anywhere the way he used to.
pear / 1837 posts
I think it also kind of depends on what stage of life your friends are in.
Our group of friends kind of all had babies at the same time, so as a group we kind of transitioned to doing very baby-friendly and baby-centric things, probably more so than DH and I would have if our friends didn't have kids.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
I think social life wise, our life definitely changed, but maybe for the better. We spend time with close friends now rather than wasting time and money out with acquaintances or because of obligation. In terms of us as a family, we still went out a ton and just brought Wagon Jr. with us until he started in on the terrible twos. Now he's getting to the point where we can take him out again, which is so fun, as long as we expect a meltdown or two. In general we still use babysitters for a date night or two per month. But we have friends over a lot still.. they just have to come to us almost every time now. We do book babysitters to visit friends though.
Life is obviously different (especially financially!) and I do miss pre-baby life sometimes. Like when I just want to go out to dinner or go into the city for fun. But I look back on it the same way as I look back on pre-married life. I miss the excitement of dating and chasing and being chased, but I wouldn't give up Wagon Sr. to go back! It's just a new period of life, as with everything.
That being said, after having #2 I'm sure things will change even more...!! Haha. But it's just another adjustment.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I had friends who had twins who said this, and now they are almost the exact opposite and won't leave the house (twins are 9 months old) because it's too difficult.
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