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Wow. Omg I would have the biggest headache if I were you!
Also, How big is your house that you can accommodate all these people?! When I had my LO, my mom was the only one who stayed with us. We had some local family members and friends drop by for a couple of hours, but I felt pretty overwhelmed with just one extra body in the house! My mom was such an incredible help and support to us..
Dh's parents actually didn't visit and see the baby until she was around 2 months old. In all honesty, newborns are boring. They eat sleep poop around the clock.
It's definitely nice to have help, but I don't know how I'd feel about having so many people up in my face right after give birth..
If flights haven't been booked, I would lay down the law and make a schedule of visits. Send it to everyone and tell them when they're allowed to visit.
You're gonna be high on hormones and will definitely want some alone time and quiet with just your Dh and baby..

Good luck! Hope everything works out..

You do NOT come across as ungrateful! If I were in your shoes, I would first tell SIL sorry, but she has to find another place to live. To move in with you a week after your EDD for 6 weeks is too much to ask of you/your husband/anyone!! You guys need time alone with your new baby!

As for the moms….do they have to stay an entire week, each? If they live close or reasonably close, could you maybe tell them the plans have changed and they can stay 2-3 days, and then you will reevaluate then how much longer they should stay? They could stay 2-3 days, go home for a couple of days, then return for 2-3 days, etc.…at least that way you would get a break.

I love my mother and MIL dearly, but I don’t want either of them essentially moving in with us, even for a week, after baby arrives. That’s too much stress on you and your husband, and your LO.

Oh... and definitely tell the SIL to find somewhere else to go!! 6 weeks is too much even without a baby!

I'm so sorry you have to worry about this at a time when you should be happy and excite for your baby to arrive. I honestly think they've all just gotten caught up with the baby arriving that they haven't had time to truly think about what's best for you as a family. They mean well, but maybe they're just reacting impulsively?

Regardless, I think you need to #1 tell your SIL she needs to find alternate accommodations. It's ridiculous for her to impose on you like that RIGHT after just giving birth!

As for the uncles and other random relatives that want to visit, let them know right away that you will call them as soon as you're settled in.

Once that mess is out of the way, it's time to deal with the Moms. Let them know you want some time to yourselves at first and as much as you want to see them, if they can give you a few days to bond, that would be absolutely wonderful.

Just remember that it's your baby, and your new family that comes first. Don't let others take this special time away from you. Only agree to the visits if it's fine with you - this isn't the time to feel guilty! You need to do what's best for you and your new family. Be strong and decisive. The moms should understand.

Hugs!

One word: boundaries.
if you don't set them now, they will never learn.

Your DH and baby on the way are your priority right now....not making everyone else feel happy. You deserve alone time and bonding time with just the three of you.

If you don't put your foot down and fight for that time, you will really regret it. Your firstborn will never be a newborn again.

I would also come up with a list of things they can "help out" with whether it be laundry, food shopping, taking care of pets, or running the vacuum.

I would hate for it to be well I'll get the baby while you finish folding that stack of baby clothes

Everyone is thinking that they are going to "help" you guys, but if you aren't communicating what you want and need, they are just going to do whatever they want and think is "best".

You TWO need to talk over a plan of what you want. I understand not wanting to ruffle feathers or withhold the baby from anyone, but ruffled feathers will happen sooner or later anyway- may as well get it over with now while there is a cute baby to use as an excuse.

My IL's stayed with us for part of our first two weeks- we had a couple days at home on our own before they came into town (good thing too, because I was basically topless the first couple days sorting out breastfeeding). As much help as they were, it was a relief to have a week before my husband went back to work of just the 3 of us.

Good luck! Remember, you are the head of your own family now.

Like others, we didn't ask when people could come stay, we told them. From early on, we told both our families we needed the first two weeks to ourselves, so we could bond as a family. After that, we asked my parents tocome for two weeks, and then my in-laws to come for two weeks. Our families were a little resistant at first, but they got over it... and so will yours. If you want some private time, tell them what their visitation schedule will be, don't ask.

If anythin I would absolutely put my got down about the dog coming. It was hard enough coming home to our own dog let alone having a new crying funny smelling baby around a dog that isn't in it's own home. I think that is a recipe for a mess.

I would also talk to both inlaws and your parents about limiting visits.

I had to put my foot down and didn't allow my mil in te delivery room. She really hinted she wanted to be but we didn't let her (or my mom)

I took the liberty of flexing my "new mommy" muscle. I expressed my desires fairly early in my pregnancy to my husband. We have 1 guest room and that meant only one person staying with us at a time. Which meant only one mom visiting at a time. I also said that I wanted two weeks post birth for us to bond as a new family of three.

I was able to express all my desires to my mom without any issues and she was extremely helpful during her stay. It worked out that my MIL didn't end up coming until just before I went back to work.

As far as I'm concerned this is a time in your life where you have every right to be selfish. Grandparents have a lot of time to bond with babies, and it doesn't have to all come on day one.

Newborns are precious, but the better bonding with grandparents, IMO, is when they are a little older (3+ months).