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Hmm, I think it's interesting that so many people are saying they were bothered/scarred by seeing their moms naked while growing up.
My mom had only daughters, and we saw her naked all the time. It's not like she just walked around the house naked, but if she was changing or showering and we happened to be in the same room, no biggie. It's still this way when she's at my house (obviously not around DH) or I'm at hers.I mean, we've seen each other giving birth, nudity is just not an issue for us. It never occurred to me to be weirded out.
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@Silva: I'm not necessarily saying it IS or SHOULD be different, I was really just curious about people's perceptions about it, because frankly, I'm still trying to work out my own feelings around this issue... Or nonissue...
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I'm with @Arden: -- I'm surprised that people are saying they were "scarred" by seeing their mothers' naked bodies. That's unfortunate.
I showered with my mom occasionally until…sometime in elementary school, I think? And we've always shared dressing rooms, and when I'm visiting her there's no problem if I need to get something out of her bathroom and she's changing or just showered, and vice versa. I also know that I occasionally showered with my dad when I was little…I think that stopped when I was maybe three? Not sure.
As far as how my husband and I will be with our son and other future kids, we plan to treat it as the non-issue it is and play it by ear. I'm assuming that I'll just be able to sense when it's no longer no big deal for my son to see me naked. As he ages we'll also teach him about privacy and I'm sure he'll request privacy for himself too.
I don't want any of my kids to grow up thinking that there's something shameful about the human body.
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@BabyBoecksMom: this, I think, is what I'm nervous about. What if dd tries to touch dh's penis? i feel like this would be so weird to me. I don't want my children to think there's anything weird or wrong about our bodies though.
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@Arden: As an adult I can look back on my mom's nudity or minimal clothing and laugh but as a teenager I was kind of mortified and embarrassed. Also because she had no sense of privacy, just waltzing in while someone was in the shower, etc. Ha. I don't want my girl to be mortified by me but I think that probably comes along with the parenting territory.
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I definitely remember seeing each of my parents completely naked around 3 or 4 and wish I didn't have that memory, so I'm going to say no older than 2.
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@NurseMommy: Sorry to jump in as your question wasn't addressed to me, but I think if a daughter tried to touch her dad's penis, it could be a good moment for teaching boundaries--"No, daughters don't touch their daddies there. These are our private parts."
Apparently when I was little I tried to imitate the romantic kisses I saw in movies with my mom (clearly I was very young and didn't understand different kinds of loving relationships, or that there was a difference between a peck on the lips and a romantic kiss) and she just used it as a teachable moment--"No, kids and parents don't kiss that way." It doesn't have to be mortifying or shameful.
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@DigAPony: good point. Never thought about it that way!
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@Arden: This is exactly my answer. Never, or until someone starts to feel uncomfortable. Nudity, our bodies, etc, are not a problem. I won't teach my daughter that they are.
My husband's father was nude around his sons all their life, though, and at some point it made them uncomfortable. They asked him to stop, but he just said that it was his house, and so it wasn't his problem. We will stop as soon as any one of us feels uncomfortable with it. I've actually mostly stopped bathing with my daughter because she keeps trying to nurse. My husband still bathes with her, but he'll likely stop some day.
@DigAPony I feel exactly the same way. If my daughter asks questions about any body parts, we answer them. If she makes a grab for something, we just remind her that that part is just for mommy to touch. If she doesn't listen, bath time is over. But she does, pretty much universally.
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I'd probably say 3-4ish. I remember when I was like 8 or 9 my friend's grandpa would come over to her house and skinny dip in the pool during the day while we were out there playing and it made me *really* uncomfortable. I have another friend whose dad walks around the house naked (does to this day) and I think it's strange (he puts shorts on when guests come over but friend told me he just walks around naked). He also walks up the down the street with no shirt on and tiny shorts which I just think is kinda unnecessary (put a shirt on dude!).
Although I used to live in SF and see naked people all.the.time. so I don't feel like I'm that prudish....
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We have thought about this too. My parents were never nude around us (that I can remember) and I'm not comfortable being nude/semi-nude in front of others either. For instance, I can't get in the hot tub naked with a friend. We usually bring bathing suits if we plan on getting in the hot tub at the gym together.
Hubs has already started to be uncomfortable being totally naked around DD when he's getting dried off from a shower.
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We haven't talked about it (and LO isn't here yet) but I agree with @sarac:, @DigAPony:, and@Arden: - there should be nothing shameful about our bodies so I guess my answer is until/if they become uncomfortable. It's just nakedness, there's nothing sexual about it.
My parents are aging hippies and definitely had no qualms about being naked around us. In fact, my Mum eventually had to ask my Dad to please start sleeping in underwear when my brother and I were tweens because he would get up to use the bathroom in the morning and forget he was naked, and we'd often have friends around or whatever. We weren't scarred by his nakedness (nor my Mum's - but she was better at remembering to cover up) but it would have been shocking for our friends that weren't used to that I think!
(I guess it's important to remember that as well as the hippie side of things, we're also European, which I feel is a slightly less prudish culture than the US anyway - topless beaches etc for example.)
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@Arden: this! I don't know if I've ever seen my dad naked (I'm sure when I was really little, yes), but my mom? Goodness, that doesn't bother me at.all.
We're just going to play it by ear. When it makes someone uncomfortable, we'll stop.
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We are taking a wait and see approach. While we don't really walk around naked, DS, who is almost 3, comes and goes as he pleases when we are in the shower, on the toilet, etc. DS and DH even took a bath together just the other night. I would have joined but was only 1 week PP at that point. It's still not a big deal for us.
DH and I discussed recently and he remembers taking showers with his dad until really late or changing at the gym when he was a teen and it was not a big deal.
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@Arden: well said!
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It's totally normal for kids to find naked parents embarrassing--even developmentally appropriate--but it's also okay for parents to teach their kids that nudity is not a big deal and bodies are not shameful. I think it's a balance.
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really interesting question! it. LO is 11 months and i'm not sensing any need to cover up around him yet, but i guess it's different for each family.
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