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I have a different twist on a similar challenge. My husband is of Christian heritage but atheist/agnostic in terms of faith. (My MIL is very into her church but we are not interested in engaging with that branch of Christianity because it is pretty intense/hard core.) I have a Jewish background and went to Hebrew school as a kid, but it's more of a cultural identity than a faith to me. I would like my son to understand what it means to be Jewish, since it is a minority religion/culture. But I don't know how to do that without including the religious side. I don't even really know who I can discuss this with since most people do either both or neither.

@ElbieKay: I grew up with many Jewish families who were totally secular, but wanted to retain their culture, and I have a few Jewish friends now who are married to atheists of WASP background. They celebrate the high holidays, and fun holidays like Purim, often (but not always) have Shabbat dinners with traditional food and challah, and I think get a lot of fulfillment out of keeping up the traditions. It seems like having a big community of similarly secular people to celebrate with is what helps keep that culture alive for them. Sounds so obvious now that I'm typing it out, but wanted to share

@LCTBQE: The high holidays are the most confusing to me. How do you celebrate those without being a member of a synagogue? And how meaningful can Yom Kippur really be in that context?

I can definitely handle Passover, Hanukkah and maybe even the occasional Shabbat with no problem. But the two most important holidays really throw me for a loop.

I am in a similar situation. I grew up Catholic and DH grew up Mormon. We are not religious but fully support if LO is. We definitely won't send him to Sunday school. Our approach is that we think that since our families are religious he will get a lot of exposure to religion. If our parents are watching him on a Sunday and want to bring him to church that's fine. Also, there are so many religious people and holidays that it could be a good teaching experience from an education standpoint. We intend to educate not persuade. If religion clicks for DS and he wants to be a part of it I fully support it.

We're non-religious too, and neither DH or I are interested in raising him in any particular religion. I want him to choose for himself one day, and we don't imply that any approach is better or worse than the other (though admittedly we'd be weirded out if he becomes super religious one day!). So we teach respect and inclusion and celebrate different holidays but just explain them as secularly as possible and on a need to know basis. I have no idea what it will be like when he goes to school, though, he's only 2.5.

Neither DH or I are religious and we do not plan to send our kids to "Sunday school" etc. We have been talking about it more lately since our oldest is getting older and asking questions. We plan to teach her about all religions, just like we would about any other subject. If they choose to be of any particular faith we would support in the best way we know how.

My ILs like to pray at meals. We do not. But when they come over they insist on praying before eating. I find it rather annoying and honestly confusing for my daughter right now. There has been a few times while we are respectfully waiting while they pray, DH gives DD1 flack for eating while doing so. We have never ever prayed at meals. We have never talked about why people pray at meals. I do not think its right for her to "get in trouble" for doing what she knows to do at every meal just because my in laws are here for dinner. That's something we need to talk about. I think out of respect she should wait IF we have talked to Her about it. We haven't.

I grew up evangelical and was in seminary to be a career missionary when I realised I no longer believed. DH was raised in a Mormon household and was homeschooled, meaning his friends tended to be mormon too. He stopped practicing in his late teens and now identifies as athiest.

We have different opinions on how to approach religion. Currently we have no religious kids texts, bar a couple of nativities. I want her to be biblically literate from a cultural perspective, so am looking at childrens bible storybooks. We're also trying to teach her about other religions as well, and I'm hoping to get her storybooks of other faiths.

I sometimes attend church with my in laws. It's a chance for her to see them and experience church. With recent changes in mormon church policy I may stop. They are very hard line anti-gay policies and involve the children of LGBT families. From a selfish perspective, I wouldn't want her to become mormon because I would be shut out of her wedding.

We're also uncomfortable with how anti-gay a lot if evangelical churches are. I also don't want her being taught at a young age that she is destined for and deserves hell and the only way to prevent it is becoming a Christian.

At the same time, it's important she's respectful of her grandparent's faiths. I guess we navigate it as we go along...

My husband grew up Hindu and I would describe him as very very mildly religious. Like, he never goes to the temple and forgets almost all the main holidays, but there are certain ceremonies that if his parents remind him, he likes to do for our LO. I grew up in a very conservative Christian (southern Baptist, evangelical) environment. While I have 0 interest in exposing my LOs to that type of Christianity, I think it's good for them to know the main bible stories. I think of myself as agnostic with Buddhist leanings (haha), but I think biblical references are common in US culture and literature, so I want them to know all of that stuff.

As of now, our kiddos have been to church 1-2 times when visiting my mom (I'll be honest, one of those visits freaked my husband out because they were doing a full-court press trying to get people to come down and "be saved" and he thought it was like brainwashing...little does he know, every sunday is like that, and it's considered perfectly normal). And they've been to a temple 1-2 times when my in-laws are visiting.

At home, we have a couple of kids books with simple bible stories, and we have a couple of kid's books about hindu mythology and stories--LO1 knows who Jesus and Ganesha are, but at this point they are no different than say, Snow White or Knufflebunny or whoever else we read stories about. We're leaving it at that for now.

This is a very good question and one that I struggle with. DH and I both grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school for most of our lives. Therefore, we never had to do CCD since it was a part of our schooling. However, neither of us are involved in the church. I'm very grateful for the religious education that I had growing up as it allowed me to make my own decisions on how I view religion. I don't know what I want to do with our children. I feel like DH wants them to have Catholic schooling in some degree since that's what he grew up with but I'm not so sure that's the right answer. Ultimately, I think we need to have a family discussion about what this means.

@coopsmama: @regberadaisy: We have a "when in Rome" policy. We are not at all religious and at home we do not pray at mealtime. However both of our families are and we bow our heads, hold hands, and say Amen out of respect for their households. It's not confusing for LO, it's just what is done at her grandparents' homes. As she gets older she will probably ask questions. She did ask why her nana goes to church and we don't and I just said because nana beleves something different from mommy and daddy. I think it's actually easier to deal with at this age.

ETA: at our home we just wait if they pray. LO either joins in or doesn't...we leave it up to her. She doesn't start eating though.

We go to church but I am slowly moving away from Christianity into a more general spirituality. I actually was not raised in the Church, I joined at a vulnerable part of my life. I still have some faith but am moving further away from it daily. My main issue is explaining death to my child without having heaven as an explanation. I don't know what I'm going to do but I did look into some books on Amazon that are intended to gently explain death. One of them, called lifetimes I think, explains that all life is limited term and that everything on earth only has a limited lifetime...even inanimate objects. It isn't fair or wrong, it just is. This is what I try to tell myself when the idea gets too hard to manage and I think this is what I will try to explain to my kids when the subject comes up.

My church doesn't have Sunday school so right now we are still going but I'm not willing to do church preschool for the same reasons.

@regberadaisy: it sounds like your husband may feel some conflict about belief or non belief and that is why he hasnt had a convo with your daughter and gets flooded with negativity when the prayer issue comes up. And then gets mad at your daughter needlessly. I get it. Telling your child that "they pray but we don't" feels like shutting a door possibly permanently. I hate that I don't believe anymore and wish I could because it would cause less division between myself and my believing family members and I would love to have something to believe in that I could share with my children but organized religion feels too repressive and shaming for me. Still I mourn not being able to share that common cultural bond (my family is culturally christian but no one goes to church, and my ILs are church goers) and I'm in a bit of denial that I am in fact raising an agnostic child so right now we are in a bit of a holding pattern until our kids specifically ask. I'm hoping I'll have more clarity or conviction in one direction or another by that time.

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