Is this common? We're visiting my in-laws for a Father's Day Get-Together and I just found out that it's really some big party. Like music and drinking until the middle of the night. Is that normal??
Whenever we've gotten together with my dad for Father's Day, it's always just been our immediate family and we have a BBQ or go out to lunch or something, so I'm not used to having a big gathering for Father's Day! But maybe other families do that?
What does your family do? What about your in-laws?
pomegranate / 3105 posts
My family does a BBQ dinner with all of my dad's side. DH's family doesn't do anything since his dad isn't around and his grandfathers have both passed away, and we don't have kids.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
We just do a BBQ but a big gathering sounds fun 
if i didn't have to go to work the next day, heh.
honeydew / 7091 posts
We usually just get together with as much family as possible, and grill + beers. Definitely not a dancing/all-nighter event.
pomegranate / 3845 posts
As a kid, we had big BBQ parties that were giant get-togethers and often lasted into the night with drinking, horseshoes, a bonfire, and shenanigans. Now that I'm an adult, my dad gets a card lol.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
We'd go out and eat or do a picnic with close family, but that's about it.
nectarine / 2272 posts
Every party with my family is like this so it actually would not surprise me 
pomegranate / 3003 posts
I have a small family, so we usually just grill and play a board game. However, my husband has a big family, so holidays are usually more rowdy and grand. A big party sounds like fun!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
Sounds fun!
My family get together's are like that. We get together around 1, have appetizers for lunch. Chat, laugh, play games, and drink beer! Then usually an early dinner around 5 ish. We usually always get together on Sunday's.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
@Alivoo01: Ooh a picnic is a great idea! Maybe I'll surprise DH with a picnic if the weather is nice (may be too hot)
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
haha, I'm sure this would sound like more fun to me if I wasn't 12 weeks pregnant AND watching my 15 month old! Stuff like this just doesn't interest me when I'm on parent-duty!
But presumably during the day, it'll be more like a big BBQ and stuff, so that part should be fun! I'll just make sure we leave before the real party starts!
pomegranate / 3003 posts
The great thing about big, family gatherings is that there's always a relative willing to take the baby, so mom can grab a bite to eat, or relax a bit. I'm sure it will be a blast - just leave before it gets late or rowdy.
eggplant / 11824 posts
@deerylou: I agree! I'm never on parenting duty at parties with family - shoot, I'm lucky if I even get to see my own kid after she's kidnapped by relatives 
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@Adira: It is a family get together, you are off duty!! I hardly see R, she is off playing with her cousins and my cousins in college, take over. They even change her diapers!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Smurfette: I mean on parent duty in the sense that I'm uncomfortable drinking when I'm watching Xander, even if other people are taking over for the most part. Not that it matters since I won't be drinking anyway.
It's apparently not really a family gathering either. I guess some family will be there and also a bunch of their friends.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@Adira: I don't mind drinking 1-2 while R is still up. Either way hopefully you get some down time to relax and have some fun!
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
@Adira: Even better - I'm sure the friends will want to meet X! You probably won't even see him most of the time.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Smurfette: Oh yeah, I don't mind having one either, but it sounds to me like the plan for the evening involves heavy drinking, which I wouldn't do with Xander around and I don't enjoy being around it when I'm sober!! But I'll just leave before that starts! The day part I'm assuming will be more lowkey and I'll enjoy that!
pomegranate / 3791 posts
My dad wanted to have a BBQ for Father's day, and pretty much all the dads in the family like barbecues and parties, so it has kind of turned into a big thing. I don't think it's weird - I mean, it's father's day, so if it's what the dads want to do that's fine by me. I think it's kind of weird that seem to be really bothered by who is going to be there, to be honest - if it was Mother's Day you would have a point, but it's not.
I don't really get the whole comment about being 'on parent duty' - it's a Father's Day get together, so of course there will be kids involved so they can see their dads and grandfathers, I doubt anyone is going to be getting wasted. I mean, I'm sure some of the guys will be drinking beer at my family's party and my grandpa usually has a cocktail or two and my grandma likes wine, but I don't find that to be inappropriate, they're not getting hammered or anything. Just go by for a bit during the day, it's an invitation, not a summons ordering you to stay all day!
pomegranate / 3845 posts
@Adira: I know the feeling. Everyone's super excited to see LO at first but 30 minutes in, everyone else is drinking and having a ball and I'm changing a diaper. Family gatherings can be frustrating like that!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@wonderstruck: I didn't mean to come across bothered! Just surprised! All Father's Day get-togethers with my family has always just been family, so I'm just surprised that this is a big party instead. I'm just not USED to it. Didn't mean to imply that there was anything wrong with it!
As far as the drinking, I was told "the house will be in party mode... This means lots of music and drinking." To me, that means some people WILL get drunk, but maybe I'm interpreting that sentence incorrectly? What do you think it means? They also said they would be up until midnight (this was all in warning in case we decided to spend the night).
And I am just planning on going for the day. I'm just surprised that a Father's Day get-together would turn into something like this. That's all. It's nothing I'm used to. I'm not trying to say it's wrong or anything like that - just different and not something I'm interested in!
@Applesandbananas: YES! This is exactly how get-togethers with my in-laws are! They want to see him for all of 30 minutes when he's still shy and clinging to me and then they're done with him! I'm the one changing all the diapers and feeding him and keeping him entertained!! But get-togethers with my in-laws also tend to be large family gatherings, so everyone wants to catch up with everyone else, so I totally understand why Xander doesn't get everyone's undivided attention! I just am usually the one still doing everything for him!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
Sounds like fun, I wish we had more family close by to do stuff like this.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
@Smurfette: Lucky!
@Applesandbananas: @Adira: My family gatherings are more like that when I'm home visiting family. And they're always at my parents' house which means LOUD drunk people waking lo up til the early morning hours. People pass her around in the beginning but that's about it! And the last time I was running a fever and miserable, yuck. Ok, back on topic, my family doesn't do much and since we are out of town we'll send a gift. My in laws have a lunch get together but nothing all day. (They don't really have any all day things, maybe four hours tops even for xmas?)
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