So tonight we are going over to DH's cousin's house. They just had a baby so we are taking dinner and letting the older girls play (both 3.) I told DD1 that we were going over there and she was like 'UGH NOT THERE, she never plays she just sits there with her mom." And i totally know what she means, she's super shy and doesn't play for like the first 2 hours, and then eventually warms up. My daughter is social/likes to talk/play/ect. so i know this is "weird" to her. How do you handle this and explain she just needs to be delicate?
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B has two friends that are like this
One appears to be truly shy and eventually opens up - so we talk about what it means to be shy and that she needs her space etc. She still likes you and wants to play with you, but shes just not used to being around kids as much as you etc.
The other one, his mom says he's shy - but honestly he just doesnt like playing with other kids and acts like a little bit of a brat about it.
im honest with him and say "sorry b", he doesnt want to play with you. i say that in the attempts that mom will try to get him to be more social. -
As a parent of a shy child who does take a bit to warm up to someone (even someone she sees frequently at preschool), I appreciate parents who understand and respect that she needs a little time to warm up. It usually takes about 15 minutes or so for my daughter to get comfortable playing if the playdate is at our house, or even up to an hour if it's at someone else's house.
I usually just tell the other child, "L is feeling a little shy and quiet right now! I know she will be excited to play soon, though." and then I will bring up a toy or game I see that I know my kid is into, and say, "Oh look, is that a princess? Hey, you like those, too, L!" and sooner or later, she'll come out of her shell to play.
So as the parent of a shy kiddo - I guess I would ask the other parent for their patience and understanding. It would also help if the other parent explained to their kids that everyone is different, and not everyone feels comfortable hanging out and playing together immediately.
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