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I would feel that same way in that situation! If they extend an invite, I would suggest your house this time. Our turn to host! And then beyond that I would suggest meeting at neutral places like a park for a playdate. I would be feeling badly and checking in on my kid like crazy but I don't think kids read into it as much as we do.

I agree with just limiting the time clearly, with all parties on board beforehand. You can ease into something longer if you want, or not!

I’m dreading the day video games come up with my son - my 8 year old girl has never really seen them except for an uncle playing switch at the holidays but I know it comes sooner for boys. He also talks about killing and such like above (at 5, things like LEGO ninjas killing each other) and I know to them it doesn’t hold real meaning, but still bothers me. I’m guessing the only thing to be done is discuss with your son (was he scared or bothered? Or just you were? Every kid is so different) and limit the interactions to shorter time periods and let the rest go, but I’m no expert!

My kid is super outgoing and with the exception of a few that she’s known forever, I don’t think she would be comfortable telling most parents that she wanted to come home if they asked, particularly if front of a friend. I’d just pick a timeframe and stick to it - if you pick him up and he’s reluctant to leave/tells you he wishes he could have stayed longer - great! Next time you know he’s ready for another 30 mins, etc ...we usually stick to 2 hours. Good luck - these are tough waters to navigate!

My DS is 6 and he’s only ever gone to play at the neighbours by himself or a birthday party. At the neighbours is nice because he can just come home if he wants.

I think for next time I’d just have a set time and stick with it. If he’s invited for dinner last minute decline. If things go good and he has fun you can make the next time longer. I kind of think it is weird that she’s make him eat everything, encourage yes, but how does she know how much he typically eats and he’s old enough to know when he’s done.

I'm sorry this happened. I wouldn't send my kid over there for an unattended play date since its clear you have different parenting styles. I think 6 years old is still very young for them to be alone and not have a parent there in case they need or want you. In general, though, I will not let me kids do sleep overs or play dates unless its a very very few select people. Honestly, I don't want unattended play dates at my own house. I know this may be harder for me as my kids get older, and of course my thoughts my adjust. But I'm so cautious about any influences on my kids, to say the least.

In addition to what others said, I’d look at this as an opportunity to start teaching him about advocating for himself. If he doesn’t want to play certain games, practice with him what he can say to the other kid. If he doesn’t want to stay for dinner, how can he ask the mom to borrow the phone and call you guys?

I think it’s a missed opportunity to put this all on your shoulders and not use it as a way to help him navigate through the world. A 6-year-old on a friendly play date is a perfect chance to start learning/practicing these skills.

So my daughter (will be 7 in APril) has a new friend this year in first grade. I'm not crazy about the friendship- the friend does a lot of "you're not my friend if..." stuff, and has taught her all of the swear words. But whatever. She has to learn how to manage this kind of thing, we've been talking about it, trying to help her work through how to set boundaries, in contact with the school- trying to stay in the wings, but let her take the lead. Its not easy.
I do like the mom and dad, they are very nice. But we for sure have different styles. I am trying to use it as an opportunity to talk to my kid about how to advocate for herself, ask for help, and how important it is to communicate with me. She has been to one play date at their house, and as far as I can tell it went fine.
If something had happened like in your situation I think I'd use it as a way to open up a conversation about how families are all different, how to keep himself safe, set boundaries, etc. They are still little, so I think it's good to to say, well, let's have this friend come to our house next time. You can also role play out situations with friends- we've done that a lot this year.
I also think its fine to say "hey, my son doesn't typically play that type of video game and it was a little much for him last time. I'd prefer if they didn't play video games or watch anything rated higher than a G while he is there- he just hasn't been exposed to that stuff yet." As for meals- I really struggle with that kind of thing too, because we are so laid back about food intentionally, you could come up with a phrase for your kid to say, like "thank you for dinner, but I am full. in my family we do not have to clear our plates." and if it happens again mention something to the mom about your different rule?

It's really hard. I have to constantly check myself, but I do think around age 7 (and I realize your kiddo is a bit younger) our kids need to start practicing some of this "out in the world" stuff by themselves. In ways where they feel safe and supported, of course- I don't mean just kick him out of the next- but more try to shift your thinking to this is all stuff he is going to have to learn how to do, and he will make mistakes and it will be really hard sometimes. But learning how to set boundaries now sets them up to be more prepared for the harder boundaries that are coming.