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I'm so sorry Mama. This is heart wrenching

I'm sorry, that's awful. Sending

A child saying that to another child. I'm so sorry.

That is so so awful

@Orchid: I love what you told the other kid. I'm sorry your child had to experience that.

Ughhhh I feel terrible for you and your son... And also for the poor little kid who is being raised with such hatred. I wish I could say I'm shocked but I'm not- some people are just awful.

Wow. I'm so sorry you and your son had to deal with this, and for that other little kid learning to say things they don't understand from horrible people.

@Orchid: I am so so sorry dear....

I do have to say though, sometimes kids are very innocent about these things. I have a very dear friend, her DS and my DS (both turning 5 soon) are best buddies.Both my friend and her DS are very pale with blonde hair. My friend was telling me the other day that she was terrified because of what her DS told her, that he thought only himself and his mom (my friend) are good looking because they have "very light skin". He thought his dad was not as good looking because he has dark skin -- and his dad is a white guy! lol. She is not racist by any chance and she is a very good and a hands on mom, her boy is raised very well and have very good manners, so she didn't even know where that came from. Later on she told me that her DS thought my DS (we are Asian) has lighter skin than his dad does and we are better looking. So sometimes maybe they came from a very innocent place... similar to "I like blue I don't like yellow"... you know? But still a lot of hugs to you. It's hard to not take it personally but hope this makes you feel a tad bit better.... xoxo

So sad! I was a victim of my first instance racial hate around this age! It was terrible. Still remember what was said on the playground. Super hurtful :*( Just the start of about a handful of other situations I witnessed as I grew up.
I don't think I told my parents or anything. I was shocked and ashamed. A little part of me believed the kid and probably did a number on my self esteem. At that age, I probably would have just wanted a hug from my parents and been told how my brown skin was beautiful and how lots and lots of people love brown skin. And that kid was just really really mean. And how we (as a family) want to just be so nice and kind to people because being mean is a very sad, terrible way to live. If it was brought up again at a later time, then I would just listen and perhaps start talking about forgiveness and ways to use your words to stand up for yourself. Hugs to you and your babe.

@irene: noticing mom and dad's different complexion and determining mom is better looking is different than telling another kid you won't play with him because of his skin color. Your friend had a teachable moment opportunity to say dad is beautiful too and all skin colors are beautiful. The little boy on the playground was taught to reject people.

@lamariniere: @808love: Crap like this stays with you. I still recall the sting of being taunted "blacky, blacky!" at school. The playgrounds were separated by age group, so it was sometime in grade K-2 by a fellow K-2 student.

I think that the kid who said that to me (much older) was a product of his environment and not inherently mean. I think that for me, being a kid of around five years old, it would have comforted me in a way that I could understand that it was acknowledged that the other child was BEING mean. I don't think I would have understood the ignorance part....but not sure.
Being mixed Asian/Caucasian/Pacific Islander but only be recognized for your 'color' was confusing to me at that age. I was color blind until that kid said something.
ETA: Just realized @orchid's LO was younger than me and the hurtful kid was five so that changes things.

I'm so sorry that you and your son had to experience that. It's heartbreaking to think such hateful words could come out of a child so young. I'm glad you said something to the other kid. Maybe if enough people tell me not to speak to their children that way, he will somehow rise above the prejudiced views he is being exposed to by (at least) his grandpa. I hope your son is ok, too. He shouldn't ever have to hear those words.

That really is so hard to hear. Even if the child was just stating it from a innocent place (I like red instead of brown or something) its hard to hear.

The other day my daughter asked if people had to "match" in order to get married. I feel guilty that we dont know any bi-racial families to really show her examples. I was proud to be able to tell her, no you just have to love each other.

I too, wondered if it could have been innocent. Kids might say, "I don't like yellow hair!" or other things along those lines without all the complexity and context we may see in it.

@irene: Yeah, saying you hate something isn't really innocent. Maybe the kid doesn't know what the word 'hate' means. Let's hope that.

It's one thing to say that you don't like the color blue and on the other spectrum say you hate brown skin.

Still sad that the grandpa has said it enough for the kid to repeat it and say it to another child.

@bluestriped bee: We personally try to avoid the word hate. I dont like it and i dont think it has a nice connotation to it. However, you'd be surprised how many kids books I find it in! And I know in several households its a very common word.