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@fuzzypeaches: LOL So I'm an art director. My job is to legit look at stuff all day and color correct things. AND I SEE LINES ALL THE TIMES. I want to test Friday am.. at 10dpo.
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@Kaohinani: STAAAAPPP LOL
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@skiierchck99: Congratulations, mama!!! π₯³π₯³π₯³ That puts my pathetic lines to shame!
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@skiierchck99: yay! Congratulations!
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@Kaohinani: Well I am 5 days ahead lol...
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HCG is 335 so looking good! Retest on Friday and my plan is to tell dh then if it has doubled by dressing our first in a βpromoted to big sisterβ shirt. Eeeeed. Dying to tell someone now lol.
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@skiierchck99: Fantastic news!!! Congratulations!
@Kaohinani: Crossing everything - hoping this is it for you!
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@skiierchck99: congrats!!!
@Kaohinani: love the daily stick
crossing fingers for tomorrow!! 
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I adore you all so much!
AND now I am scared sh#tless to test in the morning ... All of the "what ifs" flood my brain: What if it was a fluke? What if I am having another MMC? What if it was trigger and my ONLY IUI doesn't take (since 2nd and 3rd IUIs usually take better, statistically)?!?!? I haven't seen a sticky BFP in over 5 years!!!! I [ALMOST] dont want to test and wait for my beta simply because, after over 3-1/2 years, I can't handle another BFN. I am am spaz tonight. π€ͺπ€¦ββοΈ
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@Kaohinani: remind me why this is your only iui?
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@skiierchck99: My AMH dropped 1.7 in 6 mos. My RE thinks that, even though I have had 2 successful [natural] pregnancies with my DH, the use of fertility medications (which caused one severe over stim) and a number of borderline over-stims with cysts and laparoscopy, would be better utilized with IVF (which my insurance [Tricare] does NOT cover). I am also 39 years old
It doesn't help my DD (11) wants a baby in the house, and my DS (4) wants to be a "big brudder." π€¦ββοΈπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί -
@Kaohinani: IUI #1 took for me so it can totally work. Fingers super super crossed for you.
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@snarkybiochemist:
Thank you. I need all the luck in the world and some positive anecdotal evidence. I [truly and unbelievably] appreciate your input. -
@Kaohinani: OMG I googled the shit out of first time IUI working just so I could have some reassurance from internet strangers. I just wanted it to work so badly.
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@Kaohinani: Makes sense. Crossing everything that this cycle works out for you!!!
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@snarkybiochemist: In all honesty, I have been afraid to Google. My RE told me that each IUI is about 20% effective. With AMA that results in lower AMH, you are looking at 10-15%. Add in a lengthy time for a positive BFP in past cycles, we are looking at around 5%. Women with Endo can go 2-15%. Considering my DH had well over 70 mil post wash with amazing motility at 41, any issues would be ALL mine. I am (until proven otherwise with a true BFP) infertile and headed towards an early menopause. #StressingTheEffOutBecauseThisCycleCementsMyFuture.
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@skiierchck99: Thank you!
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@Kaohinani: I can totally understand not googling, I wasn't sure if I would find anything reassuring.
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@Kaohinani: I will pee on a stick for you... Deal?
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@Kaohinani: fingers and toes crossed for you and anxiously awaiting an update!!!!
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@skiierchck99: congratulations!
@Kaohinani: dying at your daily stick picture! I totally understand being hesitant to poas though, and I feel you on the what ifs.
Let me tell you ladies, ttc can feel so lonely and depressing, it's nice to have this board for some levity and perspective!
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@kaohinani: where are you this morning my dear? π¦π¦π¦ I expected a 4am wake up from you!
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@yellowbeach: I actually (@0300) woke from a terrible nightmare that I had been pregnant but I wasn't "worthy" of being pregnant so the fetus was removed and I was told to never want a baby again. I woke and nearly cried thinking, "Why not me?!?!?"
So, a bit ago - I peed on a stick ... and covered it with a tissue ... and am too chicken
Incidentally, I walled you in response to your ERA report and the findings. I think your DH was correct and, were it me, I'd make the modification using the 12-hour time differential... Anyway, I wrote a bunch more to so read it when you have a chance. -
@snarkybiochemist: @Sams Mom: @LabradorLover: @MoonMoon:
Thank you so very much, ladies.
Sam's Mom, I wish it were that easy.
MoonMoon, I completely agree. -
@Kaohinani: omg what was with the dreams last night? I tossed and turned dreaming that DH was having an affair with a friend. Man Iβm sorry you had to go through that last night. Thatβs a terrible wake up. And yes, I got your wall reply about 30 s after posting here on the POAS board. Question for you re your pee stick - if you go back >10 min to look are you really going to trust it if you see something? Just donβt want you set up for more turmoil.
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@yellowbeach: Wow, your dream was horrible!!! I had a similar dream [once] that my DH drank too much while on a business trip and hooked up with a female coworker AND she ended up pregnant. I woke in a terrible mood and was angry at DH (even though it was a complete manifestation of my own nocturnal imagination!) π€£
As for my HPT, if I see a hint of anything after the allotted development time, I will do the same as I had done Monday and take another test. It is amazing how much the fear of a BFN can induce anxiety and change the tone for one's day. π€¦ββοΈ
Incidentally, my BBT chart is rockin' (and triphasic) ... the only problem with that is that is I have had a handful of triphasic charts and ended up BFN. -
@Kaohinani: @yellowbeach: ugh, sorry about the dreams! I hate those, and I have definitely been mad at she for things he "did" in dreams, it's hard to not be in a funk from them!
I can't wait to see the stick update! -
Not pregnant.
The Re's office said most implantations will occur between 9 and 11 dpo so, I should still test between the 28th and 30th.
Pretty bummed.
Sorry, y'all, I thought I may have had a chance. -
@Kaohinani: ugh, I'm sorry
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@Kaohinani: I'm so sorry.
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@Kaohinani: I'm sorry. What are the next steps for you now, will you ask about repeating IUI?
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@Kaohinani:
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@Kaohinani: damn . Iβm so sorry. This process is such a mind game
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@LAZB: @crazydoglady: @Yellowbeach:
@FuzzyPeaches: Thank you. I'm still holding out hope it "could happen" as most women get BFPs between 12 and 14 dpo. I'm just super frustrated.@paranundrum: I am 11-dpIUI today so, I still have about 5 more days until AF is even a possibility so, I will test again by the 30th. I have been having intermittent prickly, pulling "cramps" and super itchy breasts since 8 dpo so, who knows π€·ββοΈ ?
My RE was adamant that he was only going to do a single IUI on me; however, with DH having great post wash numbers and the fact I react so well to Follistim, perhaps he could be swayed. I won't know unless I try. DH and I don't feel 100% ready to move on to IVF, especially knowing that we can and have had children (with no medical intervention) before. Besides, statistically, the efficacy of IUIs increase between 2 and 6 sequential IUIs and, substantially decrease after #6.
Right now, I am just frustrated and I feel like while I do know life isn't fair, how come I can't catch a break? I'm not throwing a pity-party for 1 just yet, but I am incredibly bummed out knowing so many women conceive 1st try (and with an early BFP) and, at this time in my life, I am not one of them ... and it is what I want more than anything. -
@Kaohinani: so sorry
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@Kaohinani: Hopefully it will still happen this cycle! All my body parts will remain tightly crossed for you!
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@skiierchck99: @paranundrum:
Thank you, ladies ... it means a lot. -
@Kaohinani: oh i'm so so sorry to see this BUT holding out hope that the trigger is totally gone and the testing advice of between 28-30 brings the outcome we all hope to see!! sending love, i am sure this is a hard day and keeping everything crossed for you for different news in a few days
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@Kaohinani: so sorry for the negative this morning. Still have everything crossed for you!
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@Kaohinani: Still holding out hope for you lady
crossing fingers for tomorrow!! 
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