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POAS 2019 - September to December Edition

  1. LiliBillie

    cherry / 105 posts

    @fuzzypeaches: LOL So I'm an art director. My job is to legit look at stuff all day and color correct things. AND I SEE LINES ALL THE TIMES. I want to test Friday am.. at 10dpo.

  2. Mrs.Panda

    nectarine / 2358 posts

    @Kaohinani: STAAAAPPP LOL

  3. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @skiierchck99: Congratulations, mama!!! πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³ That puts my pathetic lines to shame!

  4. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @skiierchck99: yay! Congratulations!

  5. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    @Kaohinani: Well I am 5 days ahead lol...

  6. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    HCG is 335 so looking good! Retest on Friday and my plan is to tell dh then if it has doubled by dressing our first in a β€œpromoted to big sister” shirt. Eeeeed. Dying to tell someone now lol.

  7. raspberries

    pear / 1955 posts

    @skiierchck99: Fantastic news!!! Congratulations!

    @Kaohinani: Crossing everything - hoping this is it for you!

  8. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6086 posts

    @skiierchck99: congrats!!!

    @Kaohinani: love the daily stick crossing fingers for tomorrow!!

  9. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    I adore you all so much! 😘 AND now I am scared sh#tless to test in the morning ... All of the "what ifs" flood my brain: What if it was a fluke? What if I am having another MMC? What if it was trigger and my ONLY IUI doesn't take (since 2nd and 3rd IUIs usually take better, statistically)?!?!? I haven't seen a sticky BFP in over 5 years!!!! I [ALMOST] dont want to test and wait for my beta simply because, after over 3-1/2 years, I can't handle another BFN. I am am spaz tonight. πŸ€ͺπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

  10. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    @Kaohinani: remind me why this is your only iui?

  11. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @skiierchck99: My AMH dropped 1.7 in 6 mos. My RE thinks that, even though I have had 2 successful [natural] pregnancies with my DH, the use of fertility medications (which caused one severe over stim) and a number of borderline over-stims with cysts and laparoscopy, would be better utilized with IVF (which my insurance [Tricare] does NOT cover). I am also 39 years old πŸ‘©β€πŸ¦³. I KNOW I can make babies successfully, just not as of late. After my laparoscopic surgery [which found stage 2 endo], he told me that I have ONE shot at IUI before IVF. It is stressing me out and I dont want to test because, if it is BFN, I have to figure out whether or not IVF is in DH's and my future.
    It doesn't help my DD (11) wants a baby in the house, and my DS (4) wants to be a "big brudder." πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ί

  12. snarkybiochemist

    nectarine / 2180 posts

    @Kaohinani: IUI #1 took for me so it can totally work. Fingers super super crossed for you.

  13. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @snarkybiochemist: 😘😘😘😘
    Thank you. I need all the luck in the world and some positive anecdotal evidence. I [truly and unbelievably] appreciate your input.

  14. snarkybiochemist

    nectarine / 2180 posts

    @Kaohinani: OMG I googled the shit out of first time IUI working just so I could have some reassurance from internet strangers. I just wanted it to work so badly.

  15. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    @Kaohinani: Makes sense. Crossing everything that this cycle works out for you!!!

  16. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @snarkybiochemist: In all honesty, I have been afraid to Google. My RE told me that each IUI is about 20% effective. With AMA that results in lower AMH, you are looking at 10-15%. Add in a lengthy time for a positive BFP in past cycles, we are looking at around 5%. Women with Endo can go 2-15%. Considering my DH had well over 70 mil post wash with amazing motility at 41, any issues would be ALL mine. I am (until proven otherwise with a true BFP) infertile and headed towards an early menopause. #StressingTheEffOutBecauseThisCycleCementsMyFuture.

  17. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @skiierchck99: Thank you! 😘 And, once again, congratulations! I couldn't be happier that you got a BFP with such beautiful beta numbers.

  18. snarkybiochemist

    nectarine / 2180 posts

    @Kaohinani: I can totally understand not googling, I wasn't sure if I would find anything reassuring.

  19. Sams Mom

    grapefruit / 4492 posts

    @Kaohinani: I will pee on a stick for you... Deal?

  20. LabradorLover

    kiwi / 548 posts

    @Kaohinani: fingers and toes crossed for you and anxiously awaiting an update!!!!

  21. MoonMoon

    pomegranate / 3393 posts

    @skiierchck99: congratulations!

    @Kaohinani: dying at your daily stick picture! I totally understand being hesitant to poas though, and I feel you on the what ifs.

    Let me tell you ladies, ttc can feel so lonely and depressing, it's nice to have this board for some levity and perspective!

  22. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    @kaohinani: where are you this morning my dear? πŸ¦—πŸ¦—πŸ¦— I expected a 4am wake up from you! πŸ’¦ 🌊 🚽 πŸ’¦ 🌊 🚽

    😬😬😬😬😬

  23. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @yellowbeach: I actually (@0300) woke from a terrible nightmare that I had been pregnant but I wasn't "worthy" of being pregnant so the fetus was removed and I was told to never want a baby again. I woke and nearly cried thinking, "Why not me?!?!?"
    So, a bit ago - I peed on a stick ... and covered it with a tissue ... and am too chicken πŸ” to go and look at it! πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ The dream really shook me. I don't feel pregnant at all so I assume my tests 2 days ago were either a fluke or left over trigger. (* sighs *) I know I will have to go bathe after I exercise so I will confront the test then.
    Incidentally, I walled you in response to your ERA report and the findings. I think your DH was correct and, were it me, I'd make the modification using the 12-hour time differential... Anyway, I wrote a bunch more to so read it when you have a chance.

  24. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @snarkybiochemist: @Sams Mom: @LabradorLover: @MoonMoon:
    Thank you so very much, ladies. πŸ’•
    Sam's Mom, I wish it were that easy.
    MoonMoon, I completely agree.

  25. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    @Kaohinani: omg what was with the dreams last night? I tossed and turned dreaming that DH was having an affair with a friend. Man I’m sorry you had to go through that last night. That’s a terrible wake up. And yes, I got your wall reply about 30 s after posting here on the POAS board. Question for you re your pee stick - if you go back >10 min to look are you really going to trust it if you see something? Just don’t want you set up for more turmoil.

  26. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @yellowbeach: Wow, your dream was horrible!!! I had a similar dream [once] that my DH drank too much while on a business trip and hooked up with a female coworker AND she ended up pregnant. I woke in a terrible mood and was angry at DH (even though it was a complete manifestation of my own nocturnal imagination!) πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ I believe πŸ€” both of the dreams we had last night were based on uncertainty and a level of self-doubt or feeling unworthy, especially because neither of us can "do" the one thing that is unique to being a woman --- conceive a child. I may be wrong but, I know mine is seethed in insecurity and anxiety that I will never conceive again. Such a bummer to think about. πŸ₯Ί

    As for my HPT, if I see a hint of anything after the allotted development time, I will do the same as I had done Monday and take another test. It is amazing how much the fear of a BFN can induce anxiety and change the tone for one's day. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ
    Incidentally, my BBT chart is rockin' (and triphasic) ... the only problem with that is that is I have had a handful of triphasic charts and ended up BFN.



  27. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @Kaohinani: @yellowbeach: ugh, sorry about the dreams! I hate those, and I have definitely been mad at she for things he "did" in dreams, it's hard to not be in a funk from them!
    I can't wait to see the stick update!

  28. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    Not pregnant.

    The Re's office said most implantations will occur between 9 and 11 dpo so, I should still test between the 28th and 30th.

    Pretty bummed.
    Sorry, y'all, I thought I may have had a chance.





  29. LAZB

    pomegranate / 3904 posts

    @Kaohinani: ugh, I'm sorry

  30. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @Kaohinani: I'm so sorry.

  31. paranundrum

    clementine / 811 posts

    @Kaohinani: I'm sorry. What are the next steps for you now, will you ask about repeating IUI?

  32. yellowbeach

    nectarine / 2648 posts

    @Kaohinani:



  33. fuzzypeaches

    clementine / 950 posts

    @Kaohinani: damn . I’m so sorry. This process is such a mind game πŸ’• hope you are taking care of yourself today xxx

  34. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @LAZB: @crazydoglady: @Yellowbeach:
    @FuzzyPeaches: Thank you. I'm still holding out hope it "could happen" as most women get BFPs between 12 and 14 dpo. I'm just super frustrated.

    @paranundrum: I am 11-dpIUI today so, I still have about 5 more days until AF is even a possibility so, I will test again by the 30th. I have been having intermittent prickly, pulling "cramps" and super itchy breasts since 8 dpo so, who knows πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ ?
    My RE was adamant that he was only going to do a single IUI on me; however, with DH having great post wash numbers and the fact I react so well to Follistim, perhaps he could be swayed. I won't know unless I try. DH and I don't feel 100% ready to move on to IVF, especially knowing that we can and have had children (with no medical intervention) before. Besides, statistically, the efficacy of IUIs increase between 2 and 6 sequential IUIs and, substantially decrease after #6.
    Right now, I am just frustrated and I feel like while I do know life isn't fair, how come I can't catch a break? I'm not throwing a pity-party for 1 just yet, but I am incredibly bummed out knowing so many women conceive 1st try (and with an early BFP) and, at this time in my life, I am not one of them ... and it is what I want more than anything.

  35. skiierchck99

    kiwi / 518 posts

    @Kaohinani: so sorry 😩. I’ve definitely been there. IF is shitty - I hope you find what feels like the right next steps ❀️

  36. paranundrum

    clementine / 811 posts

    @Kaohinani: Hopefully it will still happen this cycle! All my body parts will remain tightly crossed for you!

  37. Kaohinani

    grapefruit / 4144 posts

    @skiierchck99: @paranundrum:
    Thank you, ladies ... it means a lot.

  38. maybebaby

    nectarine / 2177 posts

    @Kaohinani: oh i'm so so sorry to see this BUT holding out hope that the trigger is totally gone and the testing advice of between 28-30 brings the outcome we all hope to see!! sending love, i am sure this is a hard day and keeping everything crossed for you for different news in a few days

  39. MamaBear87

    nectarine / 2288 posts

    @Kaohinani: so sorry for the negative this morning. Still have everything crossed for you!

  40. JennyLayneAZ

    nectarine / 2690 posts

    @Kaohinani: Still holding out hope for you lady

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