-
@pachamama: oh man I missed this completely, thank you! Can I ask an overly anxious question?? When you had your dye stealer did it progressively get darker (like your last two did you see a difference?) I am losing my mind lol
-
@fuzzypeaches: I’m sorry you are in limbo and feeling so anxious. I know the feeling, and it’s tough! I’m crossing everything for you that this is a viable pregnancy. These are my tests from the twins at 16 and 17dpo. My hcg on the bottom one was 2,070. I tested for another day or so, and my dye stealers pretty much looked the same, so I quit testing.
-
@Jessiemuller88: ahh that makes me feel better, thank you 🥰 I know google is also telling me to stop testing but, you know how it is lol
-
@fuzzypeaches: yes, I totally know! Do wherever makes you feel better. I’d never tell you to stop testing, because I know I tested until I felt comfortable stopping.
-
@fuzzypeaches: Ditto what JessieMuller88 said. I also kept testing bc every once in a while I’d panic and need some reassurance that testing generally provided. At some point the tests stresses me more bc they just couldn’t get any darker, so I stopped.
-
@fuzzypeaches: you have every right to be overly anxious mama, it's ok. I actually didn't test after that, can you believe that?!
How are things? -
Update! 3532!
Omg this might be happening🤭 I have an ultrasound to still rule out ectopic on Friday (or earlier I’d have symptoms)! -
@fuzzypeaches: ahhh so exciting!! Everything crossed for a baby in the right place!
-
@fuzzypeaches: wow!!! They more than doubled, that’s fantastic!! Sooo hoping this is your rainbow babe
-
@fuzzypeaches: YAYYYYYYYY!
-
@fuzzypeaches: I'm seriously thinking it was a lab error!!!!
-
@fuzzypeaches: woohoo! Such good news! Looking forward to hearing the results of your U/S!
And thanks for the tidbit about HSG and increased fertility
-
@fuzzypeaches: YAASSSSSSS!!!! Oh gosh what a wait until Friday
-
@fuzzypeaches: yaaaaay! So excited to hear this and crossing all my fingers and toes for you!
-
@bhbee: @Jessiemuller88: @Sams Mom: @crazydoglady: @MoonMoon: @yellowbeach: @skiierchck99: thanks ladies!! I will definitely update Friday!! Hoping for good news
regardless of location This is the farthest I have gotten in pregnancy since July 2018! Just so grateful to have one more chance before stopping.
-
@fuzzypeaches: my last try baby (toddler) and I are sending you some
while you wait!
-
@fuzzypeaches: Yes, it was me who mentioned that. He had work related stress too and the whole thing was too much. He was moaning about having to take his meds of all things... The work situation is a bit better now and he can manage the rest of it better. Telling me (or anyone, he's childhood wasn't that easy and he tends to keep everything in as a result) how he feels about things isn't a strength of his, but I think he's a bit more excited now that there's some real hope in January. I think the trying from month to month with no real chance wore him out.
-
@fuzzypeaches: Beautiful number! Can't wait for the ultrasound!
-
So I'm two days into my penultimate cycle before IVF and the last few days have been a bit rough for me. The hormones and my fear of needles are doing their bit too, but the fact that we really can't make a baby unassisted is sinking in and it feels so unfair.
To top it off I had a crappy day at work (but didn't cry, so that's a win!) and it's only Monday...Maybe I should start knitting baby socks to help me visualize the goal.
-
@paranundrum: Hugs!!! I promise (someday) it will all make sense. We didnt do IVF but I had two losses before my son and it felt so unfair. Once I held my son, it all made sense. My daughter took a year and there were heartbreaking moments...when I held her, it all made sense, too. I wish this journey could be easier for you, but it will all make sense someday.
-
@paranundrum: hugs to you
... it IS just unfair. All of IF and loss and the months of disappointments. I am so so hopeful for you with IVF though. We are all here to support you when you need it and cheer you when that success happens -
@paranundrum: I just wanted to share with you a little excerpt from a diary I kept while going through IVF for LO#1. I distinctly remember that feeling of mourning an unassisted pregnancy... of "OMG, I can't believe we have to do IVF..." Obviously our situations are different, but I just thought I'd share how a perspective change helped me really accept moving forward with IVF.
"When we first decided to do IVF, we actually made the decision quite quickly. I think it had been something we were open to, but we, or at least I, didn’t realize we’d come upon it as quickly as it seemed. At our appointment with Dr. L the first week of June, he asked us if we planned on having more than one child. “More than one child? We are struggling to just have one,” I thought to myself.
Like most people, before ever getting married or even meeting [DH], I had thought theoretically about one day wanting 2-3 kids, having enjoyed growing up with a sister who I treasure and love. [DH] and I probably discussed it once or twice before getting married, as he’s one of four boys, and also always envisioned having a few children. Until Dr. L asked the question, it had been well over a year since I’d entertained visions of us with any more than a single, healthy baby. Of course I’d love to have more than one, but that’s greedy. I’m not allowed to think about that. Focus on one healthy baby, then move on to building sibling relationships.
But Dr. L helped give us some perspective, and with it, a different hope. He explained to us that if we indeed wanted more than one child, IVF makes sense for us now. Yes, we could stay the course and keep trying for that first baby, and maybe, just maybe something would work. But by acting now and choosing IVF now, we’d pretty much guarantee better odds for not only our first baby, but our second baby as well. See, when you do the egg retrieval, for me at age 38, the leftover eggs are frozen and stay age 38 eggs. So, in 2 years when we try for baby #2, we’re working with 38-year-old eggs, not 40-year-old eggs, which in the world of infertility, means a much higher likelihood of success.
So with that one conversation, IVF, what I once viewed as a last-ditch, expensive, hope-I-never-get-there step to fertility, became the promise of hope for a full family, and a way for me to take control and do something proactive in this struggle. I let go of the feeling that IVF=failure, and realized that IVF=opportunity."
Obviously my IVF road has been bumpy to say the least, but I still believe those words. Thinking of you today hon.
-
@paranundrum: hugs. It isn’t fair and it can feel especially far in the weeks to come when you are doing all the work for something arguably caused by MFI. Not that I was upset with dh or would ever blame him but it still sucks. And it did sometimes feel isolating being the only one (it seems) that I know in real life struggling with fertility. Online support groups were great for that. And hopefully your dh can be in charge of all the shots - it won’t be nearly as bad that way. Hugs
-
@paranundrum: I'm with you! I know our situations are different, but you have lots of empathy with the feelings of frustration, helplessness, anger, and mourning. Always ready to lend an ear or virtual hug
-
@crazydoglady: @bhbee: @yellowbeach: @skiierchck99: @MoonMoon: Thank you all so much!
I'm so thankful for this community for all the love and support. I don't have many people in real life I feel comfortable talking about infertility to and I feel like the ones I do trust enough don't get it like you all do. I'm happy I have them and I can give updates to them, but one of them has two girls with next to no trouble conceiving, the other doesn't want kids and probably never will have any. They're both great listeners and I'm grateful, but sometimes it's better to share with people who have been down the same road.
This is the only online community I'm part of and don't need any others. There's one here in my own country and in my own language, but it's a snake pit! Everyone is so rude and I can't imagine why anyone would want to open up there or ask any questions, because they would just find out how stupid they are or something in those lines.@yellowbeach: Thank you for sharing this. I had a dream of having five kids once upon a time. I might not want to go so high today, but two or three would be nice. You are right, it's hard to see past the hurdle of having just one, if it has taken over six years with no results. I know IVF might change that, but it feels so far away just yet. I'm guessing those questions might come up during our counseling appointment next month.
@skiierchck99: Luckily I don't feel any resentment at all and I feel like we're in this together with my SO. It would be so much harder if I felt like it was his fault.
I hope he'll be able to be in charge of most of the shots too, he doesn't have any objections, so as long as out schedules line up, we should be golden. -
Shameless request for you all to send good luck
and warm thoughts my way...Tomorrow I take my boards for a 3rd time (get 5 chances total). Attempt #1 I had just delivered DD at 32w after getting sick with HELLP and preE... and she had a stroke, had brain surgery... so I was a little distracted and spent. Attempt #2 was shadowed by the loss of DD#2, to T21... definitely worse than everything I just listed that went on with DD#1. And now, on attempt #3, I find myself 8w6d pregnant tomorrow and feeling like my head is more clear, and that the universe, and luck in general might be turning around for me. I know I'm a good doctor. I've just had a shitty ass 2 years that would sink even the strongest and smartest person.
Send me your energy fellow POAS addicts! -
@yellowbeach: omg good luck!! You will kill it this time! I’m sure your ongoing experience practicing will also be an asset! But I can’t imagine trying to write with that kind of stress before
@paranundrum: you are such a positive and supportive person. I hope you know you have all of us rooting for you in January! I’m glad hubby is mostly on board as that (in my experience) made things so much harder and more emotional!
-
@yellowbeach: you got this! What time is your exam? I'll be thinking of you! Just think of the story you'll tell your little one one day about how you took this test with him/her in tow!
-
@fuzzypeaches @MoonMoon: Thanks! I take it at 8am EST. Results have typically come back that first or second Friday in December. So a few weeks wait, but will know by Christmas for sure.
-
@yellowbeach: This year is your year and you can do it, we believe in you!
(Just in case you need some extra, here's a motivational corgi for you.) -
@fuzzypeaches: Thank you, I really appreciate it!
-
@yellowbeach: BEST OF LUCK
-
@yellowbeach: know you are rocking it right now!!
-
@yellowbeach: GOOD LUCK!
-
Well, can’t say with any certainty that I rocked it, but I’m done. Damn I wish I could drink.
-
@yellowbeach:
-
@yellowbeach: at least it’s over! Out of your hands now
AFM time is glacialZ I had some mild nausea before Tuesday and now it’s gone so of course I’m freaking out. This will be a long 27 hours (but who is counting lol)
Anyone POAS soon?! Need some squinters to look at lol.
-
@fuzzypeaches: Was just thinking of you this morning thinking "at least it's already Thursday..." although I'm sure you are in a time warp right now. What time is your appointment tomorrow?
I too would like to see some squinters
-
@yellowbeach: 1015. I fluctuate between being wildly hopeful and pessimistic. I feel like I am praying to feel some nausea 🤣 (although one of my losses was the worst morning sickness I have had so I know it doesn’t mean anything really lol)
-
@fuzzypeaches: I know the feeling! How many weeks would you be? Aka are they looking for hb or just sack?
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
1412 comments