On a recent vacation where we stayed with friends and families all with 3-4 year olds, I noticed we were all laying with our kids until the fell asleep. This is maddening! Is this really that common? Curious!
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I voted yes, but that's not really true. He falls asleep / naps great, unless I'm around. Then he wants cuddles. I take responsibility
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He sleeps totally fine at night, no help needed but naps have been totally hit and miss for the last 4-6 months. But I know he still needs the nap! Drives me nuts.
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No but when we travel we go to great lengths to replicate his sleep environment at home and we largely stick with his schedule.
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I’ve never once laid with my 3yo, and he’s never asked.
I would only do it if he’s really sick, but that still hasn’t happened yet.
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I said yes because until about 2 months ago we had lay with him every night until he fell asleep. He’s a little over 4.5 now.
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We don’t need to lay with her, but my 4 year old still needs plenty of coaxing, convincing, one last kiss and hug, etc- and that’s at home. Traveling, I wouldn’t be surprised if she needed us to lay down with her sometimes.
My 22 month old can fall asleep no problem. 🙄
@SweetiePie: we sleep trained my older one at 4 months and she’s still a crap sleeper. Didn’t sleep train the younger one until she was like 9 or 10 months and to call it sleep training is misleading- it was like letting her cry for two minutes after she had nurses or rocked to sleep for 9 months.
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At home, no. But on vacation or any other abnormal sleeping environment, yes.
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We wait in the room for 5 min while she settles - in a chair - and she's awake when we leave 90% of the time. On vacation sometimes we stay until she's asleep if her routine is really off. So it's sort of an in between.
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He is needing us to lay with him at home too. It's just absurd at this point but we have totally created a monster. He had dropped the naps, until the weekend when I realized if I lie with him he will sleep. I don't know how to get out of this mess. We have tried ALL the tricks and nothing works. We chose the path of least resistance, but I am tired of it.
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No, but it’s been a long tough road to get to this point. We do stories, and then shut off the lights and have a cuddle, sometimes rub his back for a minute, and then leave. I don’t know how he’d do on vacation, though, the only places we’ve been recently is my parents’ house, which he’s used to.
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In general, No. But when we travel we do sometimes have to stay in the room until she falls asleep because she is scared in the new environment.
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I voted no, but he is almost 4 and the truth is about half and half. Last vacation we had to lay down in the extra bed until he fell asleep and he woke up looking for us all night long, but this week of vacation we just took, he did just fine on his own. Kids and sleep are weird and hell if I can figure it out. Until then, coffee!!
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Since sleep training around 6 months, my son is a super independent sleeper. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of a song and he'll say "go downstairs mommy, I want to go to sleep". He can't sleep if we are around, which makes for some difficult situations and sleepless nights for all of us on holidays.
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My 4.5 year old needs us to lay with him until he's asleep, and then he still crawls into our bed around 3am every night. He's always been a snuggler and I've come to enjoy our cuddles together.
My 1.5 year old doesn't even want me to rock her before bed. She dive bombs into her crib and wants nothing to do with me as she falls asleep.
In my experience, it just depends on the kid!
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Thanks to DH, no we don’t. Up until DS was 2.5, I used to mostly do bedtime. And from 18 months and on it just got worse and worse. I’d try to leave and he’d get so upset that I’d end up laying next to his crib, singing to him, and trying to sneak out after he fell asleep.
I got pregnant when he was 2 and DH gradually took over. He introduced a solid routine of books, “sleepy songs,” and then hugs and done. Now at almost 4, either of us can do this routine, even on vacation, and he’s fine. He knows what to expect and doesn’t need us there. I do the same thing with DD, who’s 14m and she does great with it too.
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My almost 4 year old went to bed by herself just fine until we moved her to a big girl bed at 2.5, then she asked me to lay with her and now I do every night. It's a HUGE timesuck for me because I'm usually in there for at least an hour. Her brother is 21 months and does just fine on his own. I haven't tried to break the habit very hard though because they share a room and I feel guilty that she doesn't get a whole lot of mommy time since she is in school all day and I leave before she gets up.
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Nope never. I don't think he'd ever fall asleep if we stayed in there. He's a chatter box!
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DS is 4.5 and usually goes to bed fine at night. Although he usually winds up in our bed somewhere between 3-5am
Naps are a different story. If I'm home I have to lay with him to sleep. He leant nap often on weekends anymore but I still have to lay with him.
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I needed two votes! My oldest has always been a great sleeper, he's 5 now but has fallen asleep without us since infancy. My second was ok after sleep training but since he climbed out of his crib and started sleeping in a bed, around 20 months, he has needed us with him. I agree, its maddening. Occasionally grandma or a babysitter will put him to bed and he's fine without cuddles, I'm just hoping he grows out of it soon. Turns 4 in a few weeks.
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Yes, since he was 2, my son needed help falling asleep. We are working on him being able to do it alone, but I will be honest, I enjoy those few moments we have together before he falls asleep and I am in no rush to end them.
I get that I am out of the ordinary on that, but I just wanted to let you know it's not all bad if you don't want it to be.
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No, I purposely never did this because after bed is the only time I have to get anything done. We set a solid routine of book, songs, bed for both kids and have never laid with them. There have been brief times when it seemed we had to go back in the room a million times, but we always left again before they fell asleep. Now, pretty much anyone can put them to bed anywhere.
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DS turned 3 last month and did great until we switched to a big boy bed over the summer. He had a big regression and we had to lie with him until he fell asleep...and he was fighting bedtime and falling asleep an hour later than he should have been. We buckled down about 2 weeks ago, and (knock on wood) now he is back to a short (5 min) bedtime cuddle, quick hug, and then falling asleep by himself at the right time. It was SO worth the 3-4 rough nights of getting him back to independence -- my husband and I have some time together again, and my son is getting an extra hour of sleep every night. Everyone is so much happier!
Naps are another story - he fights naps HARD right now, so one of us usually ends up napping with him. Honestly, not going to complain about that - I could use a mid-afternoon nap most weekends!
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I voted yes; we've always co-slept and stayed with her till she falls asleep. We could probably wean her from it, but not something we mind doing. Also, as she dropped napping after starting preschool, she conks out within 5 minutes so not much "helping" at all these days.
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We were having to sit with our son. From just before he turned 3 until about a month ago (he's now 4.5). It got to the point where I was spending more than half my night doing bedtime, between putting my daughter to bed and then sitting with him for 20-40 minutes a night. So we incentivized bedtime - if he went to sleep without one of us sitting in the room and without crying, he could play on his Kindle (which I had gotten him for our cruise but I gave it to him early as this incentive) for 15 minutes the next night before bed. The first 2 or 3 nights we had to go back in a couple of times, but by the 4th night, it was fine. I sung to him, tucked him in, said goodnight, and walked out the door. No tears, stayed in bed...fine. Bedtime routine is done by 8:15 now instead of 9.
I really didn't want to incentivize bedtime, but I was desperate. And it worked. And now he doesn't even always ask for the Kindle. And bonus, the confidence at putting himself to bed has fixed his daycare dropoff issues, too - no more tears when I leave!
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@looch: thank you. I agree. (I just wish I could make it take a little shorter.)
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No. We sleep trained at 6 months and haven't helped her to sleep since (3.5 now).
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No. He gets a song, a back tickle, and a snuggle and then he goes to sleep (on his own).
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No. Thank god. My SIL has to for all three of her boys and it can take anywhere from 60 min to 2 hours. I'd lose my everloving mind. And I pretty much fly solo M-F. After brushing teeth, bedtime takes about 2 min at our house.
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I voted no...but, we are going through a really rough patch with our 3.5 year old lately. We don't have to lay down with her initially, but for the past month she has struggled with us leaving the room, some nights it results in tears. I am pretty sure she would love it if we would lay down with her. She has also been waking multiple times at night, and from that aspect she does need help because she will not go back to sleep until we come and check in with her. This is a child who has slept through the night after sleep training her at 11 months old, and we have never had any issues since.....this is just came out of the blue. Fun times.
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My 4 year old can go either way---sometimes she asks us to stay and sometimes she doesn't care. My kids are crappy sleepers on terms of wake ups, but they fall asleep quickly. They are usually both out within 5-10 min. Injust take my phone and tell them I'm going to read till they sleep. As soon as DD2 is asleep, I leave whether or not DD1 is asleep. They share a room, so it's simultaneous bedtime.
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Nope when she converted from crib to bed we tried but ultimately CIO worked for us. She’s shy of 3 but we just shut the door and say goodnight, sometimes on vacation it’s more challenging but not if she has her own room.
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@ellewoods84: curios to know - what constitutes your rough patch? We are having one too
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@oskarsmommy: I voted no. DD, who will be 4 next month does not need us to lay with her to fall asleep. She does like us to but it's not a necessity. When I was pregnant with DS I got into the habit of laying with her, well bc I was tired and who doesn't like to cuddle your kiddo!! Anyway it got to the point where she'd be awake for 45 mins just messing around and it got out of hand. So we made the rule of no more laying with her. She was ok and it was fine, however she would call out and ask for a drink or a "cold spot" so I'd end up going back in 1 or 2 times anyway....
We have since started preschool all day 5 days a week and she is now exhausted. So I have started laying with her again bc now it takes 2-10 mins for her to fall asleep. Now, I still voted no bc some nights I won't lay with her or sometimes I have to get up to go tend to DS and she's fine and will fall asleep by herself.
I feel like as long as it's not a LONG time (like we had before 30-45 mins) that I am ok laying with her. She's only 4 once and someday she won't even want me near her so I am soaking it up now!!!!!
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