First it was the dripping night sweats and eww smell no matter how much I showered. Then it was walking around the grocery store hyperventilating from a hormonal panic attack that someone was going to snatch my new baby out of his stroller (that I was pushing). The perpetual lack of sleep and waking up in a panic every hour to make sure he was still breathing. The ill-fitting clothes--too small for maternity clothes, too big for my pre-pregnancy clothes. The constant milk smell from my milk-stained shirts thanks to my boobs that leak all.the.time--had to double up on nursing pads there.

Then a few weeks ago I noticed strands of hair plastered to my chest when I got out of the shower. I started finding errant strands in the strangest places...my stove, hiding in the folds of Evan's neck--in his freaking diaper!!! And now it's everywhere, all of the time. By the time I wake up in the morning my pillow looks like it was knit out of hair. It comes out at an alarming rate (and in chunks 10+ strands thick) in the shower. I pulled a poop-coated clump out of his diaper this morning. I have no idea how it even got there!!

You'd think after having to be pregnant and deal with morning sickness, swelling, mood swings, back pain, insomnia and the like, then having to labor in the worst pain I've never even been able to imagine and then actually push a freaking child out of our vajays (or however babe is delivered) (ETA and a freaking month of bleeding!) that evolution would make the post-partum period a little bit nicer for new moms.

*end rant*