Hellobee Boards

My LO is like that on a playground- he’ll scope someone out to play with and grab me because he wants to play with them. I’ll walk him back over and give him the words to say- “ do you want to play with me?” “ my name is X, what is yours?”

For school, I’d speak with the teacher about pairing up your daughter with other kids. LO has always had besties in class at the same time he wasn’t always sitting with them during activities or snacks.

During pick up and drop off you could initiate conversation with the other kids and ask your daughter to join in. Mine gets a little jealous if I speak to his class mates, but kids are so great about saying their own name and pointing out a piece of clothing or something in their hand. Might give you something to show your daughter she has in common with her classmate.

This is tough to answer. My LO hasn't had this particular issue but she has talked to me about what to do when her bestie is being "mean" or is trying to get LO to do something she doesn't want to.... meaning my LO needs to branch out and go elsewhere. I try to just encourage LO to find something she does want to do and ask others to join her or find others already doing something and ask to join them. It's hard to see our lo's in these situations but these are exactly the times that they are going to learn from and that will help them navigate the world as they grow.

In your instance I would first validate her feelings that it is indeed nerve wracking to talk to others and it's ok to feel nervous, that I do too when I have to talk to new people but that she shouldn't be scared and I'd give her some ideas, like ask them what their favorite movie is or to maybe ask the teacher to help her talk to someone... or to pick an activity and ask someone to join her.

@corduroy this is a great idea!!

ETA I was the shy kid when I was younger and I missed out on so many things bc I was scared/nervous. I try to encourage my LO's to at least try .... I don't want them missing out on things and regretting like me

Could you try role playing with her? You can take turns being your LO and being another kid in class. My 4 year old LO loves playing "pretend" anything, so when she's struggling with something I suggest we play pretend about it and role play ways to successfully try something new. Sometimes it helps to act out what she's worried about too, so she can see how to respond.