Hellobee Boards

Oh for sure. Apparently the only way I could be more selfish is if I didn't have any at all! (Because that's selfish?)

I'm in a similar position--I want a second, DH doesn't. The door isn't shut yet but I have a wonderful son and if he's all I'll get I might be a little bit sad but not heartbroken. But sweet baby Jane whenever any family members hear that we're on the fence about a second we immediately get told that we HAVE to have a second! When asked about it now I just tell them that we're in no rush and are just enjoying E. Works for now anyway!

How old is your first? We always planned on 2-3 babies, then had our DD and it was a nightmare due to a lot of traumas. We had a very rough first year, and DH said that's it, one and done. It broke my heart because I wanted another one for sure, but I knew I couldn't force him into it, so I decided to give it some time. Then, out of the blue, a couple months ago when DD turned 1, he told me he was ready for another one. Here we are, expecting baby #2! The reason I ask how old your LO is, is because sometimes a new baby is just overwhelming, but you get to the place around 1 year where they become much easier, and just get so fun and interactive, and that's about the time a lot of people think about another one.

I've only had one person talk to me about DS and telling me to watch out for "only child syndrome." This was when I was freshly divorced and never even had met DH yet. I wanted to slap her.

My only pressure if from myself...DH has said he wants to be done having babies when he's 35 and he's about to be 33 now. I was ok with it when I was pregnant with S, because I felt done with her inside me. Now that she's gone, the pressure is back on.

Either way, both kids would have only child syndrome, cause DS will be at least 6 or 7 by the time another baby comes along.

You know, I think it's ridiculous that people pass judgment on this. I think it's a lot less selfish to recognize that one is your limit than to have a second just because that's the societal expectation and then, potentially, be unhappy and resentful as a result.

We may very well be in the one and done camp and, quite frankly, it's no one else's business. It doesn't mean I am passing judgment on anyone else's choices or that I don't see the value in siblings, I just don't think multiple children are right for everyone.

Ugh do I ever wish people would just zip it.

It's selfish if you have too many and it's selfish if you don't have any/not enough.

This is such a lose/lose battle it seems. Sorry you're dealing with all the pressure! Do what's best for your family!

Yep, lots of pressure for a second one. I've always wanted two. DH wants two. For us, it's more a matter of timing than anything. We're still working on some marital issues before we TTC again. Hopefully with another couple months of marital progress, we'll be in a happier spot to consider a second. He really doesn't want the 7 year age gap he has with his brother, so it's a consideration for us.