I specifically would like to know: if you have a different last name than your SO and little ones, what problems, if any, have you encountered (e.g. medical, school, other)? Thanks!!
-
I'm curious about this as well!
-
I haven't had any real issues yet. People do get our last names wrong on invites and cards, but that is about it.
-
My baby is only 9 months so no problems thus far, BUT the only thing I foresee at the moment is that when I travel internationally with her I will need to carry a letter from my partner stating that he's okay with the travel (i.e. I'm not kidnapping her), as from what I understand they are more likely to question you about this if you don't share a last name. (FWIW, as a teacher I never found it confusing or problematic with regard to my students and their parents.)
-
No issues here so far.
I also grew up with a mother who had a different last name than me. The only thing I can remember is that sometimes I got asked extra questions at customs when we were travelling, but that's about it.
-
@mjane: Yes, my mum always carried a notarized letter from my dad. But this is a good idea now for any parent travelling solo with a child, whether last names are shared or not.
-
No issues so far. People often call me by his last name, but it doesn't really bother me. The doctor's office gets it wrong usually, but it is correct on all their paperwork so there haven't been any billing mistakes or anything like that.
I think its an increasingly common situation. -
@mjane: I never thought about that. Good idea!
-
I have a different last name, and it is a huge pain in the ass for me. The generic concerns are that we travel a lot so it's a pain from that perspective (I think we have to carry a notarized letter anyway) but the notarized letter gets checked all the time so I have to keep digging it out. And it's just not assumed that you're the child's mother, that you're married, etc. And it's just an extra step with everything. In my case it's worse because my maiden name is hyphenated, and the second name in my maiden name is similar to, but not the same as, my husband's. Nobody can understand that, or the relationship between the 3 of us, at all. So as soon as we're done our next international trip in May (so that I have time to change my passport) I am changing my name!
-
I ended up changing my last name before my LO was born because I was afraid of these horror stories I heard... we travel a lot and I didn't want to ever have someone questioning if I was the parent... Sorry I'm not much help.
-
Not much. DS is different than mine because he's from my first marriage. But, school teachers always catch on. The only thing that happens often is that he gets things addressed to him as DS mylastname instead of DS hislastname, but it never bothers him.
It's never been an issue at all.
-
LO is almost 2, we travel a lot and have had NO issues doing anything (traveling, multiple doctors offices, daycare, activity registration, etc.). It's an increasingly common situation and we've had no issues, side eyes, etc from anyone.
-
@heartonastring: Yes, FWIW whenever I traveled alone with my mother as a child we were always subjected to lots and lots of extra questions--and once we were almost detained! And we have the same last name.
-
None so far. When we've traveled internationally I've made sure to have copies of documents but I would do that anyways. I don't care when people refer to me as my husband's last name. I kind of like having the double identity.
-
We haven't had any issues so far. Same thing as others - people get my name wrong on cards and invites a lot. Sometimes I add my husband's last name to mine when I'm signing up for a class for M or something, but not always and no big issues have come up either way.
-
@mrskeee: oh no! It really sounds like you've had bad experiences.
It seems the majority of people haven't had too many issues. Maybe when my family starts travelling the solution is to get to the airport with plenty of time for questioning and to bring all necessary paperwork.
-
We don't travel much but I always take his birth certificate when we do. Other than that, I get called by his last name all of the time. But I knew that would happen. The first few times I paid for my son's school it was tricky because they had to look it up by his last name but they got that down pretty fast. No one has even blinked an eye at it. This may be different when we move to a bigger city this summer. I am also flying with him across country in May.
-
My situation is similar to @Dandelion: 's My last name is different from my son's (from a previous marriage) and I kept my maiden name with my second marriage so my last name is different from all my kids and my husband. The ped's office gets confused as well as our health insurance.
I'm going to change it this year when my licenses come up on renewal. I'm a notary public so I'll have to change that and order a new stamp (have to order one anyways!) and my professional license will need to be changed as well as my drivers license. For me it will likely cost $250 after it's all said and done.
-
My mom had a different last name than me growing up (she is remarried) and I don't remember us ever having an issue. I think the biggest thing was she was often addressed as Mrs. Kidslastname instead of her last name. I don't think she cared all that much, but would correct them if it was someone she would see often.
-
I haven't had an issue yet, but DD is only 3 months old so we'll see how things go! We did give her my last name as a middle name, so it will be in her passport and on all official documents. Honestly, I don't think we'll have any problems that aren't easily resolvable when we're in the US, but I'm a little worried about DH's country of citizenship because women there must change their names upon marriage by law. If we want DD to have dual citizenship, we'll have to register our marriage and I don't know how they're going to cope with processing it. I've gotten some hassle at the airport there in the past for not sharing a last name with DH, but I don't really foresee traveling there not as a family, so hopefully it will be okay.
-
No issues yet, at 9 months.
Growing up, we had a different last name from our mom and no issues there either, other than people sometimes assuming she had my last name.
-
LO is 20 months old and we've had no issues at all. We live abroad and have flown internationally a few times as a family, but never alone with just LO and I. If I did, I would have to provide a letter signed by DH and a birth certificate regardless - I think it's international law now, same last name or not.
-
@SugarplumsMom: Huh? I've flown internationally with my son alone (with his passport) and I haven't needed a letter from my husband. We share the same last name.
-
@mjane: @SugarplumsMom: Ive traveled internationally with my daughter (we also live abroad) and had no issues. No one even asked or batted an eye, even with the different names. I didn't have anything signed by my DH, although I did travel with her BC.
No issues, really. I've had a couple people get a little confused, but they catch on quick.
-
i changed my name but don't use it. it has never been a problem at school, traveling internationally, etc.
at charlie and olive's daycare, most of the women didn't change their last name!
-
@looch: @SugarplumsMom: I think it's just a recommendation, as least in the US. And yeah, definitely not specific to kids who don't share a parent's last name. Here's the customs info page:
-
@looch: @loveisstrange: Really? It must not be enforced, because on LO's passport application, it specifically says a note is needed from the other parent when traveling alone. I'm pretty sure they wrote that's as a requirement everywhere - which apparently isn't the case.
But they can ask you for it and it might be worth having it just in case.
https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad
http://www.dhs.gov/how-do-i/travel-overseas
http://www.babycenter.ca/a1019398/consent-letter-for-crossing-the-border-with-your-baby -
@SugarplumsMom: Huh... I don't know. I traveled with her passport, BC, a copy of our military orders, and shot records but not a note. Definitely not enforced, at least not the day I flew out. lol I flew out of Heathrow and then Philadelphia on the way back here.
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
27 comments