Both Mr. Bee and I have small families, and the relatives on my mom's side are all in Korea.
On the one hand I know big families can be drama! On the other hand, family is so awesome.... your kids bond with their cousins in a way that they don't with friends.
I guess since I'm a hermit, I prefer having a small family.
Do you have a big or small family? Do you wish you had a bigger or smaller family?
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
Well, you saw the picture of my family! And those pictures are only from my nana and her brother & sister. Imagine the rest of my family!
No drama from anyone outside my immediate family. It's kind of nice having such a large family..
GOLD / coconut / 8266 posts
My family is drama-tastic and it's big on both sides. But there's always someone there for you when you need help. Family gatherings are big and noisy and lots of fun. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Holidays are fun with DH's family! There's always some drama but I'm on the outside and it doesn't involve me, so I don't care much. It's just juicy gossip lol. I love that E has lots of cousins to play with. I never had that. If it ever gets to be too much for me, I just don't go to a family event and DH doesn't mind going solo.
papaya / 10343 posts
I guess I have sort of a big family. On my mom's side I have 11 cousins (if you count cousins + spouses, and most spouses have been around long enough I do consider them cousins) and they have 8 kids. On my dad's side I have 15 cousins and they have 10 kids. Plus the aunts and uncles of course (but only 1 grandparent at this point).
The biggest pro I think is that there are a lot of people in your life who love you. I don't talk to all (or most) of my cousins a ton and some of them drive me nuts, but there isn't one of them who wouldn't take my call at 4am and come to my rescue if I needed them. Also it makes holidays jolly. The biggest con is parental guilt about not being involved enough with my big family. Most of my family lives in my hometown and they see each other a lot for stuff like bbqs and people's birthdays and I never really go home for that stuff. Then my mom guilts me for being uninvolved.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Meh, most of my family is on another continent, it's been like this most of my life and I don't know any different. There was a period of time where I didn't see them for a long time, but when I moved abroad, I saw them a lot more.
Personally, I feel that your tribe can be made up of people other than blood relatives and that's what I am trying to foster, because my family is kind of set, if you will.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
I have a pretty large extended family (19 aunts/uncles, 25 first cousins), but we don't live near them, so I really don't see them that often. I have a couple cousins that are close in age to me and I remember playing with them a bunch whenever we visited my grandparents, but I'm not close to them anymore. Out of my 25 first cousins, I really only feel close to one of them and that was only recently when she moved away from her family and ended up closer to mine.
Plus our family is filled with DRAMA. We used to all get together for Thanksgiving on my mom's side, but there was always one sibling (of my aunts/uncles) fighting with another, so it got to the point where my grandparents didn't even WANT us all together! And on my dad's side, they all spread out as far from each other as possible, so we rarely even see any of them most of the time!
Hubs' family on the other hand is quite small - he was 5 first cousins! BUT they all live relatively close and get together for family gatherings, so that seems nice! And it's not overwhelming because there's not sooooooo many of them that you can't remember who's who!
bananas / 9227 posts
Meh. I had my grandparents live with us as a kid and I honestly could have done without that experience. But as far as just having a big family around, I never longed for anything more than what I had. My younger brother and I are 8 years apart, so I was more like an only child. But I grew up with a tight knit of family friends that I still consider as family. Since they weren't really family, there wasn't any drama.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
we have large extended families on both sides. it was fun when we were younger, but we never see them now.
I prefer small families!
coconut / 8498 posts
DH and I both have pretty large extended families. I love it! There's a serious bond between my cousins and I, even though I now only see them once or twice a year. I love knowing we've got each other to rely on. I'm kind of sad LO won't have that experience, as I'm an only child and DH's only sibling is two and through.
apricot / 453 posts
I've got a fairly small extended family and my husband's family is very small.
I love it - there aren't a ton of obligations involved and rarely any drama.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
DH and I have identical family sizes. His mom is an only child, my dad is an only child. His dad has 2 siblings, my mom has 2 siblings. We each only have 2 first cousins. He is one of two (boy/girl) and so am I. It's pretty crazy! So we're both used to small families, and we both like it. I don't know what it's like to have a big family, so I guess I don't know what I'm missing? It does seem like bigger families have more drama (no drama in either of our families), and it seems like it would be stressful trying to see everyone over the holidays.
I'm actually hoping that once M is older we can start taking trips over the holidays (like going to all-inclusive resorts). I think that would be so fun! And we wouldn't have to feel guilty about not seeing family because our families are so small and could even join us on vacation.
pear / 1787 posts
i grew up with a super small family. my mom was an only child, my dad had three siblings, two of which didn't have children and one of which lived far away/he wasn't close with. so all i had at holidays was one aunt, and one set of grandparents. it was lonely not having cousins etc.
DH's family is huge. his mom is one of 8 and his dad is one of 6. i don't even know how many cousins there are. but they're amazing!!! we get together every canada day and boxing day because we're spread out all over the province and it's always so fun. i genuinely adore them all... we laugh a lot, drink a lot, play games. it's seriously what i was always missing growing up and i'm so happy our kids will have that experience.
BUTTTTTTT that comes with a lot of obligations. we are guilted for missing events, etc... sometimes i just need a break, sometimes i just don't feel like socializing, sometimes i just wanna spend time with my parents!
on top of that, i'm adopted... so at 17 i was thrust into this whole other biological family that is huge and super close. definitely complicates things and i feel like there's just never enough time to please everyone. sometimes i wanna revert back to my small family ways!
bananas / 9899 posts
I have a pretty small family while my DH has a big one. There is drama on both sides, but honestly there is more in my family than his. I like his big family a lot.
pomelo / 5791 posts
I wish I had a larger one, but not a LARGE one. DH has a huge family, and mine is teeny tiny. There has to be some middle ground somewhere!
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