eggplant / 11861 posts
This is my worst nightmare! My anxiety can't even let us build a pool!
When we are in pools I am on such high alert!
I truly can't trust ANYONE and I am a ball of nerves!
It takes a second, and I am always affraid someone will think someone else is watching them and they slip away etc...
I think Dr.s should talk about it more, I'm in FL and I don't think my dr. Has ever said anything!
Horrible for these parents, I can't imagine!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@FaithFertility: I had no idea it was the LEADING CAUSE of death in young children! I don't think our pediatrician has ever mentioned it either! I'm on high alert around pools too, but I don't think I realized how much vigil I should be keeping when we're NOT out by the pool, but somewhere where my kids could get to one. This is why I'm a HUGE advocate of kids learning to swim! I'm terrified for my youngest because he won't even go in the water now, so he's not learning to swim at all, so if he falls in...
@Adira: I hear you! I have AJ enrolled to start Aug 1st and I'm praying it makes G want to again too, falling in is no joke! At least learn to go to the edge!!!!
pomegranate / 3858 posts
@Adira: I'm with you - swimming lessons are mandatory in my house because it's a life skill, not an activity.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@Adira: I had no idea it was the leading cause of death for 1-4 year olds- and even more that most are when kids weren’t supposed to be swimming. I know to be super vigilant when we are swimming but this is a good reminder about other times. Thanks for sharing this.
@Foodnerd81: Right?? I didn't realize drowning happened so often when people WEREN'T swimming! It's scary to think about, but good to know so I can be extra vigilant!
pomegranate / 3904 posts
It’s so scary!
pear / 1728 posts
I'm such a helicopter mom when there is water in sight. I know my family thinks I'm a nutcase but I don't care.
pomelo / 5084 posts
@Adira: I agree with PP. We won’t allow our son to do the swim class at daycare bc we aren’t there to supervise. People think we are nuts but I don’t want to take any chances with water.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Last summer there was tragic drowning accidents of toddler twins near where I live/work so that was terrible. We went to a pool party earlier this summer and I was so glad I only brought my older DD so I could be with her/keep an eye on her the whole time.
The pool we go to at my parent's condo is not crowded and I take comfort in having a lifeguard; I would totally be a nervous wreck at a huge town pool or people's pools w/o lifeguards. I'm looking forward to putting my older DD in swim class between now and next summer since she finally expressed interest!
pomelo / 5224 posts
@Adira: thanks for the reminder. We’re dtaying at a house with an unfenced pool in Aug. It has door alarms but that gives me little comfort. I’m trying to get my 3 yo as capable in the water as possible before that.
I had a scary incident yesterday. I was in the community pool with my 3yo and independent (although not quite “swimmer”) 5yo. I was holding my 3yo and my 5yo was clinging to my back. A little boy (maybe 4), clinging to a noodle, came up behind DD, wrapped his arm around her neck, took her down and held her underwater. I was literally inches from her and I didnt feel like I was able to get to her fast enough. It was all innocent - apparently he thinks he’s hugging according to his mom who was clearly also distressed by the behavior - but just another thing to add to my radar. I’ve always encouraged DD to play with the other kids to practice her swimming. Now maybe not so much.
@skinnycow: Amen my family thinks I'm nuts too!!!
squash / 13199 posts
I am always 100% focused on my children when I or around a pool and always dressed ready tp jump in. I dont understand when parents get so comfortable with their kids in the pool that they don't pay attention. People have said to me "well my child can swim" they can still be in distress and still need supervision and atleast one dedicated person to watch them
@Mrsbells: Yes this! My sister almost drowned when we young and she could swim and we were all right there
@snowjewelz: yeah apparently thats surprisingly common. Plus drowning can happen very quietly without all the splashing people expect
nectarine / 2040 posts
Ugh this is my worst nightmare. My parents and sister both just moved to Florida and have unfenced pools and I will not visit them woh DS until the are properly fenced with automatic shutting doors. They think I’m nuts but I don’t care. It can happen so fast and it absolutely terrifies me
persimmon / 1005 posts
The article is heartbreaking.
What measures do you take, especially during the “non swimming” times? I am hyper vigilant during swimming but I’m not even sure if I am outside of that. What situations do you look for or how are you watchful?
nectarine / 2461 posts
@Adira: thanks for posting this. I honestly had no idea that drowning wasn’t extremely rare, let alone the leading cause of death in toddlers. The part of her article about our hyper vigilance of sunscreen and screen time vs how underdiscussed this topic is is so jarring.
@peaches1038: good for you for standing your ground.
@Jennibenni: I wonder this too! We don't have a pool, so this is rarely something I think about, but now I'm wondering what we're supposed to do while on vacation if we're at a beach house or somewhere that does have a pool.
@Jennibenni: I'm thinking if you're in their scenario, at a beach house with a pool, I'd always make sure all adults understand that all doorways that lead to the pool MUST be locked at all times. I don't even know what to do except to tell my kids over and over and over again never to go into the pool without a grownup... I feel so sad for them b/c I can totally understand that A) you're not at your own house so you're not familiar and B) when there're so many other people, you just need 1 person to forget to lock the door for a few seconds...
@snowjewelz: @Jennibenni: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too. Especially if the pool doesn't have a fence that's always locked or you're at a beach, I could see keeping doors locked at all times and making sure kids can't get through windows. Is there anything additional we can do?? The article doesn't discuss how her child got outside to the pool, so I don't know what more she felt like she could've done.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
Stuff like this gives me a stomach ache...
@Adira: Her foundation is all about having designated person/people to watch kids so another thing I could think of is that during chaotic post dinner clean up time (or any other time), be clear on who's main purpose is to watch the kids and do nothing else?
@snowjewelz: Yeah, that could be. We're so used to not having to watch our kids like a hawk at home, but on vacation, we'll definitely have to be more vigilant about this!
pomegranate / 3421 posts
I had no idea that talking about drowning was not a standard at pediatrician appointments! My pediatrician first talked about it as soon as my son started crawling and it gets mentioned at every well appointment after that. She even talks about how it doesn't have to be a pool, they can drown in just a few inches of water such as a toilet or a bucket.
pomelo / 5298 posts
Our local children's hospital and their related offices (including our Ped) do a huge marketing campaign in regards to drowning. Last year the focus was "Lifeguard your child". There are signs in everyone of their office about drowning with facts and recommendations. But I have never had a pediatrician talk about it.
We do have a pool. My six year old took exactly 1 week of lessons and we work constantly at home. I am her "coach". If I am not in the water with her, her vest is on. My 3 year old fell in the pool early this summer. I was within arms reach of her and pulled her out quickly and no harm was done.
I'm hyper vigilant with my kids at home and we don't attend pool parties. My kids are taught a healthy awareness of water dangers. But they both love the pool and all that comes with it. I was a water kid and I want them to be as well. But we have rules to keep them safe.
Re: Lifeguard your child, the local campaign discusses having a designated lifeguard. They even give out bracelets for this. So whoever is the lifeguard, is strictly lifeguarding not interacting with other people at all. Rotate lifeguards (parents/adults) so that no one becomes complacent or is missing the "fun".
Re: vacation. We do have a pool at our home and it is not fenced separately from the rest of our yard. We have a home security system with chimes on our doors. Our children are trained they are not allowed in the backyard without an adult. They do play minimally in our yard but are closely supervised because we didn't fence our pool.
Very plain and simple at our house, you don't go in the backyard without an adult, end of discussion!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
As a former lifeguard, I am not at all comfortable with that idea of adults that are not trained rotating and keeping watch over the pool. As a pool owner, I take my responsibility very seriously, so if anyone is in my pool, I am either in it alongside or I am watching from the side.
nectarine / 2198 posts
@Jennibenni: @Adira: as backwards as it may seem this is part of the reason I don't use floaties or puddle jumpers in a pool. They give kids a false sense of security that makes them think if they are in a pool they will float since they don't realize it's the float doing the work. I'm of the opinion you can either swim or are holding onto an adult who can, which I know isn't always the easiest depending on circumstances.
apricot / 488 posts
@Jennibenni: I live in Texas and so many people have pools. Someone told me you are supposed to have three "check points." At her house it was 1. A door to go outside
2. A chime on the door when it is opened
3. A fence around the pool
I don't know how pervasive the "three check point" rule is or anything. I read about so many drownings each summer here
kiwi / 703 posts
This is such a nightmare of mine. We are hyper-vigilant at the pool and around water and swim lessons are mandatory in our family. The kids (3 and 4) are just at a point where they can tread water and call for help or swim back to the side, even if they need to take a couple breaths. I'm so relieved they've reached this point, but they are no where close to being able to be unsupervised.
When we stayed at a vacation house on a lake (there was no yard at all you could walk out the backdoor into the lake) we bought door alarms and installed them in our room so the kids couldn't sneak out while we were sleeping or showering. We also made them wear puddle jumpers when we were hanging out on the back porch.
I like the idea of those water alarm bracelets, but none of them have very consistent reviews. Does anyone have any experience with them?
@Miss Ariel: I agree! I was anti floaties, but lost that battle
nectarine / 2431 posts
As a mama of a 3 year old boy, this article was SO hard to read, but SO necessary. We don't have a pool or anything, but this is a kick in the butt to be extra extra vigilant when at the homes of our friends with pools. I am heartbroken for this mom, but appreciate her efforts. I had no idea it was the leading cause of death...I figured it was car accidents or something.
grapefruit / 4008 posts
This is scary but not a surprise to me. I just put my 22 month old in swim lessons after Bode Miller's girl drowned. We are around pools a lot, so we have to watch our kids so carefully. I remember seeing something about drowning being a silent occurrence (as opposed to a kid splashing around and screaming and such) and that has freaked me out forever.
I will not use floaties on my kid ever. In additon to what was said above about them, floaties also make kids think they swim vertically - but you swim horizontally.
Why is it that people put floaties on their kids? Is it because you don't have access to swim lessons? It's no fun at all for ME in a pool right now because I am basically just with my toddler on the steps or helping her learn to swim, but i don't know at what point I would feel compelled to put floaties on her.
persimmon / 1114 posts
Terrifying!! Our doctor has warned us about this. Our ODD is four, and has been in lessons since she was two. Sometimes I’d like to pull her out and take a break for awhile while we do something else, but she’s so overconfident in the water that I worry about doing that. My parents have a house on a lake, and we make her wear a life vest when playing outside because we worry about her. I can totally see her getting in the water to grab something, and it terrifies me. Edited to add that I’ll be even more vigilant in watching her IN the house too. I try to keep the door facing the lake locked, but when there are a lot of people there that’s not possible.
persimmon / 1483 posts
@agold: we use a puddle jumper/ life vest in a pool area for the same reason you would at a lake or on a boat. If you are at a pool and fall in and can’t swim, youre safer having one of those things on than not, even if I am in the pool with the kids, which I always am. My kids are both in swim lessons and my almost 5 year is this close to swimming independently but she likes to wear her floats when she jumps into the deep end or wants a break from really swimming to just play. Swimming is exhausting.
@agold: I don't think floaties is the devil; my sister & I used them before we learned how to swim. Also my sister almost drowned once as a young but good swimmer so to me, while knowing how to swim greatly reduces your risk of drowning, it's still possible.
My 3.5 year old is very aware that floaties help her to swim. She is a cautious kid and has openly rejected swim lessons until this summer where she just started expressing interest again. She loves the pool and I don't why I wouldn't put her in her puddle jumper esp we don't own a pool and only 1 friend has a pool and we don't go often.
grapefruit / 4770 posts
This was so hard to read but needed. Happened on my birthday too. I sent it to my network as a reminder. Thank you for posting.
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