We have always gotten Christmas cards with family photos on them, and some with just children. They always hurt me to open because we were never able to send those.
Now that we've adopted, my first instinct was do a family photo, send a card to everyone in the world.
Upon further thought, I don't know if I want to do that. Knowing how much it hurt me, I don't want to do that to someone else.
How do you approach Christmas cards? Do you feel differently since IF?
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
We do send a family picture photo card. Even when I was struggling with IF I still loved getting people photo cards, I loved seeing their kids grow. It did sometimes make me feel a little sad, especially since Christmas while longing for a child can be and was so difficult but I never felt like people shouldn't send me their cards or do picture cards. I say do it and rejoice in your family's first Christmas.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
I agree with Mrs. train! I've always enjoyed getting holiday photo cards. We also send photo cards.
squash / 13208 posts
While dealing with IF Christmas cards of cute little ones did tear me up some but I still enjoyed getting them. And once I had my own baby I couldn't wait to put his sweet face on one!
honeydew / 7230 posts
Photo cards with other people's kids have never bothered me. I love seeing the pics of the kids in our life growing up, even when we were struggling with IF.
We usually send photo cards of us with the dogs. Since we lost one of our dogs this year and I'm looking a little wide around the middle these days, we might just send a non-photo card this year. I think if your first instinct is to send a photo card, you should totally embrace it and show off adorable baby Polish!
bananas / 9899 posts
It makes me tear up when I receive Christmas cards of other's children, but I still appreciate getting the cards and I certainly don't think they shouldn't send them. I think you should definitely send a photo card!!
grapefruit / 4703 posts
I've never been sad to get photo cards of the littles in my family/friends. If I were your IRL friend I'd be disappointed if I didn't get a picture of your little dude at Christmas!
bananas / 9628 posts
i'm not a IF success story yet, sometimes i get a little weepy because i'm envious of those taking part in family traditions- such as christmas pics for cards, but they give me something to look forward to. your card is about sharing your joy, you have so much to be joyous about with your LO, there's no reason you shouldn't share that joy on your holiday card. if someone else is gong through a hard time and wants to hold off on opening it, that's up to them. i love the idea that you struggled during the holidays, but now it's your turn to take part in all those holiday traditions! that card would be filled with optimism, not sadness or envy. 
pomegranate / 3779 posts
I would do one. We plan to do some this year using. Even though it made me a little sad, I never resented my friends for having kids or anything and enjoyed seeing the pictures of their LOs.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I think you have to be you and real. I think everyone woul want to celebrate your joy with you, even those struggling with IF!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I never thought about this before, in all honesty. I have been recieveing cards with my friend's kids on them for years, even in my single and childless days I wasn't sad about it...jealous yes, but I still loved to get them.
pomelo / 5628 posts
I will totally send family photo cards. Maybe it bothered me before...just as everything involving kids did. I agree with Looch that I love getting them and was maybe jealous, but not upset. But I think photo cards are a great part of Christmas and I'm glad that I can send them with all of us now.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I sent family photo cards of me, the DH and my dog. I have a family, too! It might be without kids, right now, but I can still celebrate the holidays.
I prefer grouped shots, rather than pictures with just the child. I know some parents don't want to be in the picture but it's easier for me emotionally to see a family photo versus lots of pictures of the same LO. It's less 'I have a child' centric when you include yourself in the photo.
pomelo / 5041 posts
I plan to send out a card of either our family or just a pic of J this holiday season. While it might've made me feel sad at the time, I would have never expected anyone not to send a Christmas card with their lo's photo on it. I think it's something we all look forward to during IF.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I think you can also make it very family focused rather then focused too much on the kid.
pear / 1786 posts
I also would agree to send a photo card, if that is what you want and was your first instinct. While I also had sadness about not having our own child, I loved getting photo cards!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Photos with babies CAN be hard to see, but people will be celebrating with you no matter what knowing what you've been through.
To me, the worst are Christmas cards that include yet-to-be born babies, like ultrasound photos or otherwise making your pregnancy announcements on a Christmas card. I honestly think that whether people have IF or not, it's in bad taste, but that's just me. 
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@bluestriped bee: I didn't mean to imply that a family was only a family if there were children. I'm sorry it came across that way.
@Mrs. Pinata: I agree with you.
Thanks for the responses ladies.
nectarine / 2705 posts
@Mrs. Polish: I think it's very sweet of you to consider this level of detail. I remember getting holiday cards two years ago with new announcements of babies on the way and it was really hard to handle.
I agree with @bluestriped bee about the group shots. Sending a family picture seems like it really is a celebration of the good things in life. I prefer seeing everyone instead of just a picture of a kid or a dog.
persimmon / 1081 posts
We are an IF success family that sends LO-only holiday cards. It is a miracle I manage to get these cards out at all; if I had to wrangle everybody into an acceptable group shot, there would be no cards. No one wants to look at me and DH's ugly mugs anyway 
I guess bc we were the ones going thru IF, it never occurred to us that they might be hurtful in some way to others, nor were we hurt to receive other people's cards when we were TTC. IF sucks but life has a funny way of going on. Holiday cards are really so trivial in the grand scheme of things. @Mrs. Polish: Pls send out the card you'd like and share your joy with your loved ones.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@Mrs. Polish: Oh, no. It's okay. I wasn't directing this towards you. I've just seen friends (jokingly) comment on the amount of attention my dog gets and I smile and think to myself (you have no idea that I can't get pregnant).
So no, I wasn't offended. Oh, and I completely understand that feeling of not feeling like you have a family because you don't have children. There have been moments where I felt like my furbabies wasn't enough.
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