LO is 8.5 mo, and we've been cosleeping since she was 5 months. We have done many different things to get her to sleep throughout the months (nursing to sleep, rocking, etc), but now I just lie with her till she falls asleep. She used to be fine sleeping in the bed till we came in a few hours later, but lately she has been waking up each night an hour or so after she first goes down and taking a long time to settle (it's harder to get her back to sleep than to sleep at bedtime). We sort of have the sane problem for naps. She will only take a long nap if I'm in the bed with her. I don't mind naps as much bc I use the time to read, rest, etc. DH and I really enjoy our evenings though! Has anyone else dealt with this? Maybe it's separation anxiety, or part of the 9 mo sleep regression. Is this just a phase?
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I've always put her to bed at the same time we go to bed, around 10 PM. She just sleeps in longer in the morning, till 9 or 10 usually.
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We don't cosleep, but my LO has also been waking after 1-1.5 hours and taking forever to go back to sleep lately. I've blamed it on the fact that it's light out so late and the blinds we have on her windows don't block out enough light, but who knows!
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We co slept for 13 months. I would take LO to bed and most nights would stay until she was sound asleep then sneak out to the livingroom to spend time with DH. The length of time would vary by night, some nights she'd go down quick others it could be hours. Now that he's in her own room and bed, we still have to be in there for her to fall asleep, and she'll often till wake up after only a few hours. It could just be a phase for your LO, ours has never been much of a sleeper!
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@Arden: I have thought just having her go to bed with us would make some things easier. Honestly, I just don't want to give up our evening wine+tv+couch time. Also, most of my mama friends have babies who take naps around the same time as my LO. I don't want to give up all our play dates.
@PurplePeony: that does make sense. It is pretty light in our room.
@beachbee: yeah I wouldn't say sleep is my lo's strongest suit either
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I think just a phase. Neither of my girls slept for long after going down by themselves until closer to 18 months or so. It just kept getting better (with some minor hiccups along the way) after about age 1.
I think around that age I wore Lorelei for a while at night? Can't honestly remember exactly where we were. That way she slept, but Mr. T and I could still unwind together for a while. Neither of the girls are great or copious sleepers (another reason we are really happy with just the two), but Ellie is pretty awesome now (since about age 5) and Lorelei is pretty good. She will usually sleep from 7pm-12am without wanting to nurse. After she wakes I just go lay with her the rest of the night in her room.
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@Mrs. Twine: I love you
@Arden: same here!
@Zbug: it is constantly changing with lo. She is 12 months. I just go to sleep with her at this point and dh stays up to unwind. Our situation sounds really similar!
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@Greentea:
I know, KNOW it's not for everyone. But it works for us. And I know that before too long we'll be on to something new and I'll get to sleep all night in bed with Mr. T. In the meantime, we are both happy with how things are and it does, honestly work for our family. And Ellie is a champ at sleeping on her own-- gets up to use the bathroom without any help and everything. Every time we've had a pattern that seems like we just can't possibly survive it, it passes. -
We had the same problem with LO. She ended up growing out of it. She started to put herself to sleep at 20 months and when she wakes she usually settles on her own without much assistance. We are hoping to move her into her own bed soon.
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@Mrs. Twine: thanks for the insight! Unfortunately, mine basically requires silence and constant movement to stay asleep in the carrier. It's awesome for getting her to sleep (although we are currently in a great place with her being able to fall asleep as long as I lie beside her), but she has trouble staying asleep in it. Maybe I just need to keep my fingers crossed that this is a short phase. That's great that you've figured out a solution that works for your family! I keep telling myself that nothing lasts forever, but it can be hard to keep that perspective when the baby is crying and your dinner is getting cold
@Greentea: going to bed earlier might not be the worst idea for me...especially since it doesn't look like she'll sttn anytime soon
@bunnylove08: thanks. Hopefully mine will also grow out of it. I guess I thought we were making real progress now that she can put herself to sleep (well with a pacifier and me next to her), but this skill doesn't seem to be helping for night wakings.
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@Zbug: So, I have a different perspective than previous posters. We ended up with this problem starting at 4 months. I went to be with her at 7:00 for two months straight. And my mental health and my marriage began to suffer because of it. I need time without my daughter touching my body, and my marriage needs time where it is just us.
I always swore that I would prioritize my relationship, because I think its important for my daughter that we both have and model a healthy marriage. For us, that means having some alone time, even if its just sitting on the couch.So, at six month we did what I consider to be gentle sleep training. We continued to co sleep for another 2.5 months or so, but we basically did the sleep lady shuffle to get her to a place where she could sleep in the co-sleeper or in our bed without one of us in there (we did start putting her in the co-sleeper, and then eventually the crib for the part of the night where we weren't in bed, because we were worried she wake up and crawl out.)
It worked well for us, gave me back some time alone in my body and was a real moment for us as a couple where we kind of put the "goal" of prioritizing our marriage into action. It also improved her naps, which gave me a much needed break during the day.I just wanted to add my experience, because for me personally, I think its alright for my child to have to adapt to my lifestyle a little bit. It doesn't have to mean the end of co-sleeping, and it doesn't mean you are doing "attachment parenting" wrong.
For my family, we are at our best when I have time to myself, my husband has some down time after work, and we both have time to talk and relax and watch t.v. Going to be late would have meant no time alone with my husband, plus it would have meant no time for playgroups because they all happen (as you know) at around 10 in the morning. Socializing is important for me and my kid, too!
A family is about balancing everyone's needs. And sometimes that means that we have to prioritize our own. I refuse to fall into the martyr trap.
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