For those of your who worked up until becoming a stay at home mom, did you tell your work you weren't coming back before or after your maternity leave? How did you tell your employer you weren't coming back?
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How large is your employer, and what is your relationship like with your manager?
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I told my office manager that we don't have any family in the area to watch LO and that I didn't feel comfortable leaving her in day care at such a young age.
The law firm I worked at was full of moms (some who took 1+ years off before coming back) so she understood. -
I feel like the right thing to do IS to tell them beforehand. But I understand that if you do you probably run the risk of losing out on PTO, Short term disability.
I vote tell them two weeks before you plan on returning. That way essentially it is almost like your two weeks notice.We're a relatively small firm and my boss is excellent to his employees so I would never leave him hanging without some prior notice. But I understand it's hard. I don't know what I would do if I didn't plan on going back.
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I've only seen one person leave work to stay home and she waited until after her full leave was over to tell our employer. I guess it's a slippery slope since on one hand if you've worked there for a while you've essentially earned this benefit so you want to take it. While on the other hand you know you're sort of screwing them since they're expecting you to come back and not to have to replace you.
I guess the best of both worlds would be a situation where you could be honest about it before going on leave but still get your benefits. That way they would have plenty of time to replace you and you'd still get to take advantage of benefits you deserve. But I know that's not the case at least at any company I've worked for.
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I gave my manager a heads up that i "more than likely" would not be returning permanently, but that im willing to stay on until he has someone trained post maternity leave. I think i may have to come back regardless for a period of time to avoid having to repay insurance premiums (std and health).
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I really don't know how i will handle this because right now I still plan to come back part time, but I know of a friend that worked with me at a large company.
She told our boss beforehand because she didn't want to be dishonestly earning to the Short time disability benefits. He told her she had earned them and told her not to say anything until 12 weeks after baby was born!
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Everyone I know doesn't tell their employer until after their leave is up. Which I think is kind of mean to the employer because then they don't have you there to train the next person, but I guess that's just life.
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I told my work before I quit. We don't have paid leave. They knew I was having twins and I told them it may be a along while before I go back to work....
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One of my girlfriends told her employer at the end of her disability that she wasn't returning-- she did have a temp to cover while she was out, so I think they ended up hiring the temp full time.
Another girlfriend did the same thing, but we worked together at a hotel with 70+ other people in our department. They had already hired people since she was on maternity to cover extra shifts (and high turnover), so it wasn't an issue.
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I had a 3 month notice period in my contract, so I was due back from maternity leave on 1 June...I had to legally tell them by the end of February if I wasn't coming back. I worked for a large global corporation.
I had asked HR upfront what the penalty was if I decided not to come back while on my paid maternity leave. I was concerned that I would owe the money back to the firm, but there is no such penalty applied.
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I think if maternity leave of x number of weeks was a guarantee in the states women wouldn't feel like they have to play the system to get what they are entitled to. Women at my company have all remained silent until STD and FMLA leave has dried up. Otherwise, you risk losing everything.
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I went from full time to working one day a week- I told them my plan very early on since finding a replacement would be a challenge. It took nearly my entire pregnancy for them to get a replacement set up, and I worked right up until my water broke getting him trained.
There was no penalty if I had decided to not return, although corporate was having a fit asking when I would return since I wasn't knocking the door down to get started again after my 12 weeks.
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I went back to work after I had DD, but just stopped working permanently now that we have two. I didn't take a matenity leave with DS; I informed my boss at 6 months pregnant that I wouldn't be working anymore, and I made my due date my last day of work. This gave my boss three months to go through the whole hiring and training process for my replacement.
I think you have to do what works best for you and your family, but just be aware of your company policies and state laws ahead of time. It would be awful to take a full maternity leave only to have to repay some of it after quitting.
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@mrbee: My company has ~1500 employees. I'm pretty close with my immediate coworkers but not so much with any of my managers.
I would hate to kill my future references because my company is the only place I've ever worked, (I've been there for 5 years) but at the same time I feel somewhat entitled to the benefits (maybe that is selfish). Once I quit, my family will lose their health insurance and we will be paying out of pocket for an individual plan because my husbands company doesn't offer insurance. I need my company health insurance for my delivery because individual health insurance considers pregnancy a pre-existing condition
I think that's why I'm so torn. I don't want to "work the system" but I also need those benefits...
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I didn't end up getting maternity leave, but I still had vacation and sick time they paid out. So, I told them afterwards. I met with my managers to discuss it in person and also submitted a resignation letter. They were actually very understanding and offered me extra (unpaid) time off if I wanted to make extra sure about the decision I was making.
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@Beyond2: In my opinion, you earn those benefits for passing your probationary period and qualifying for FMLA.
I think that's why I'm so torn. I don't want to "work the system" but I also need those benefits...
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