This really irks me and I wanted to get some perspective from other women on this topic. Sandberg and other high-powered women that write these books imply that the problem is ME. That I don't try hard enough or I'm selling myself short, but really...If I had millions of dollars to spend on childcare and people to grocery shop, cook, clean and cater to my every need so that I could spend all my downtime outside of work to my child, then yes, I'd be able to it, too.
I'm a WOHM and prior to having my first child I was totally engrossed in my career. I had the ability to stay late, work on weekends and devote as much time as I wanted to moving up the career ladder. Now that I have a 9 month old son and all the housework (granted, DH does his share, but I still end up doing more), I just don't have the same amount time nor the energy to devote to my career. Not that I don't want to...I just can't do it because the decision comes down to work or family (and family includes laundry, shopping, cleaning, cooking, fixing, etc).
If I put in the same amount of time and effort into my career that I did prior to the baby, I would have 1 hour MAX a day to spend with my son five days a week and maybe 5-6 hours per day on the weekend. Is it wrong of me to want to see my son grow AND also have a successful career?
What I really need is for my employer to understand that I do want to move up in my career and I'm not less engaged or less of a hard worker because I have to leave at 5pm so that I can see my son and spend some time with him before he goes to sleep. Maybe give me a day or two to work from home (without having it negatively effect my career), so that time I can spend my commute time doing something more productive.
What I don't need is some high-powered woman telling me that I need to step up and take control of my career and that I can have it all if I just try harder...I just want them to live in my shoes for a week and then spew that stuff.