Hellobee Boards

Depends when it is - if she's dragging her feet about coming to dinner/eating, I sometimes threaten to skip bath or not read her a story (or only read one story) and I follow through. It's an easy explanation of "well, now there isn't enough time to read/have a bath/sing one more song".

In other circumstances I also struggle, and like you, I make broad, bold threats I won't really follow through with (like "then you can't have a cupcake at your sister's birthday party" - oops).

If she doesn't put on her shoes right away, she can't come with me. I purposely do this 'training activity' when DH is home and it is optional to take her with me.
If she doesn't help clean up something I have asked her, it goes into 'the box'.
If she doesn't get her clothes on, then mommy won't have time to make nice braids.
If she runs around the store, she is not invited out and can't spend time browsing at toys.
IF she gives me a bunch of NOs then I remind her she will get a bunch of NOs when she asks for xyz (whatever I know she wants).

If I can't come up with something logical related to the behavior, I usually just ask if she is hungry or tired or needs a hug and once she calms down just explain what behavior is appropriate.

@Jess1483: love this! Filing it away for future reference!