Well here's hoping no one knows me IRL, but I am contemplating/leaning towards resigning to stay home at home after the birth of my next child. My employer offers short term disability so I would likely resign after the short term disability ended (6 or 8 weeks depending on type of delivery). I haven't expressed this to anyone at work, particularly my direct supervisor who is due 2 weeks after me, so I would be resigning while she's on maternity leave. So my question...is this a crappy thing to do? Should I be quitting before I have the baby? Or waiting to come back? I would obviously like to get paid for as long as possible, but I am having a lot of guilt over quitting with no warning. I am not a fan of where I work, but I have some great co-workers and I know I will be leaving them in a lurch.
-
I resigned during my first leave as we moved about 2.5 hours away. But, I knew that we were moving prior to birth and didn't say a word. It was hard and I don't think that they were very happy with me, but in the end, it was ok. The odd thing is that when I called HR (two weeks before the end date of my leave), she asked when I would be coming in for my two weeks? Um, I live 2 hour away now and have a newborn, so I won't be?! let alone, no daycare near where my work was. So, that was awkward.
You might want to check to see what the rules are regarding your STD. Where I currently work, you have to work 6 months after you take STD and if you don't, you have to pay it back. I am looking for a new job, but put that on hold until I met the 6 month period, because I sure as heck don't want to pay back several thousand dollars. If they have that rule in place, it might help you decide when you would put in your notice.
good luck!
-
At my job, I would have to pay back any disability if I left while on leave. You should make sure that there aren't any repercussions for quitting while on leave.
-
I know a lot of people do it but I personally wouldn’t feel right. I let my employer know I wouldn’t be going back before my son was born. I didn’t get a mat leave and I’m fine with that because I feel like I did the right thing. They had ample time to find a replacement and didn’t have to feel resentful about paying me when I was just leaving anyway. I have a great relationship with them all as a result.
-
I would look very carefully at your benefits before you go this route. When I had both of my kids my employer continued to pay their portion of my insurance premiums while I was out on leave. I was then required to work a certain amount of time after I returned to work, or I would have to pay that money back to the company. I think this a pretty common practice. Something to aware of if you go this route since you may end up losing money. I feel like there was a tie-in to STD benefits as well but can't remember specifics off-hand.
-
@NorthStar: @avivoca: @SweetiePie: @kiddosc: Thanks, I am planning on calling and speaking with someone about STD and whether or not I would have to pay it back. The policy provided to employees is vague and based on my interpretation we don't, but I do plan on covering all of my bases and verifying that. I would have to pay back medical, etc insurance premiums but we have all of that through my husband.
-
Yes, I think it's a crappy thing to do. Especially because your supervisor will also be on maternity leave at the time.
-
@LadyDi: You should be able to ask for the plan document or whatever it's called relating to the policy. That should give you the information without playing your hand. But, I also don't know if the payback thing is a company policy or a plan thing.
-
I resigned while on maternity leave, but before hand, I made sure I was left enough room with the notice period of 3 months and I had checked with HR on the repayment of benefits.
eta: Another thing, had I gone back to work, given the experience a woman on my team had who delivered 3 months after I did, I would have been let go on my first day as they were doing a massive reduction in force. I actually saved them money, because had they reduced my position, I would have been entitled to 1 year severance.
Things change, you don't know what kind of child you're going to have.
-
Not something I would feel comfortable doing. At least in my industry that news would spread like wildfire (if you're planning to work again later etc).
-
I know several people who have done this and nobody spoke ill of them afterwards. I would absolutely not quit beforehand. By virtue of the fact that you are on short term disability, this is even less shady since your employer isn't paying your salary (or the portion of your salary) to which you are entitled. If you quit before, it's the insurance company who benefits. If would help clear your conscience, then I suggest coming back and giving your two week notice on your first day back from leave. Some of the best career advice I've ever received was that you need to look out for what is best for you since nobody else will. You've earned the short term disability and that income is likely what is best for your family. I also think that people will understand the difficulty of coming back after having a baby. I wouldn't admit to this having been your plan all along but I say ditch the guilt, get your STD, and then move on.
-
I wouldn't do this. You'd be burning a bridge, IMO, and that would cost you more in the long run than a few extra weeks pay. It just feels dishonest and disloyal. Also it bothers me on a bigger level because I feel like this is why employers are wary of pregnant women. They are often scared of people doing exactly this, because people DO, and that can result in mistrust of pregnant women generally which isn't good for anyone.
-
The last company I worked for, you had to work your last day or you would have to pay back all pay plus benefits during STD... the benefits you had to pay whatever the employer paid into (so essentially the same as COBRA). I really would make sure there is a policy that defines what happens if you resign during STD.
-
@Shantuck: I agree one hundred percent. If your STD is through the state, then nothing is being paid by your employer so you leaving won't take money out of your pocket. You can decline to receive health insurance during your leave if you also have insurance through your spouse.
-
I resigned from my job after my first baby because I was unexpectedly offered a part-time job much closer to home. My employer didn't offer any STD, though. My maternity leave consisted of all of my saved PTO and the rest was to be unpaid leave. I was able to let my employer know that I wouldn't be returning before the paid part of my leave ended. My immediate supervisor also left the company during my leave, so I resigned to his boss. I worked for a small, church-based organization, and they were understanding and very gracious about it. And had a I resigned while not on mat leave, they still would have paid my remaining PTO, so it didn't change their experience at all.
-
Considering your boss will also be on maternity leave, she won't exactly be in a position to find you a replacement on very short notice. Would be nice to let someone at work know as soon as you make up your mind for sure, which probably won't be until after baby is born in any case.
-
So I did this, though for a job change rather than to stay at home. I started interviewing for a job (a major step up in my career) before I was even pregnant, and through a very long convoluted situation I ended up getting my offer letter at 11 weeks into my 12 week maternity leave.
I had a very interesting experience through the process - I had been notified that I was the final candidate months before getting the official offer, so I knew at about 6 months pregnant that it was pretty likely that I would not be returning to my job. I asked everyone I knew (including many professionals in my field) whether I should notify my employer before I went out on leave and the results of my informal survey surprised me: EVERY SINGLE MALE I asked said "Definitely not - look out for yourself and your career, you owe your employer nothing and legally you could be jeopardizing your current position and benefits by saying that you may not return." And EVERY FEMALE said something to the effect of "maybe, you want to be seen as loyal, it is the fair thing to do, etc." It was really striking to me to see the difference, and very informative.
I ended up not saying anything, and when I gave my notice on the day I got my offer letter everyone wished me well. I still work in the field and collaborate with some former coworkers/supervisors, and no one has held any ill will.
-
@Rocker2014: To be fair, I think the situation you describe is quite different from OP's. I wouldn't have said anything in your situation either. Until you have the offer letter in hand you just never know. If you had gotten the offer letter before going on maternity leave would you still have not said anything and taken paid leave/disability through your employer?
-
I looked into this while pregnant with my first and HR said I would be ineligible for rehire (also meaning I would get a poor future reference from my employer). So I chose to give notice.
-
This was really common at my old job. Probably almost half the women didn’t come back from maternity leave (high cost of childcare and not super high paying jobs...). No one seemed resentful, so it seems like it varies by industry and company. I flat out asked my HR person what would happen if I changed my mind and decided not to come back, in terms of paying back salary or benefits, and I did not owe anything.
The way I see it- you aren’t sure and there are too many variables to definitively quit. What if you hate being home? What if your spouse loses his job? What if something happens and you have unexpectedly large medical bills, or worse? For that reason I did not tell my old job I probably wasn’t coming back. I don’t think they were terribly surprised when I didn’t and I let them know as soon as I was absolutely sure but like others said, you have to look out for you first.
-
I completely agree with @Foodnerd81. You have no idea how life will play out and it's in the best interest of you/your family to keep your options open at this point in time. Also, people will be managing to get by without you and your supervisor for your entire leave so will adding a few weeks on top of that to find your replacement really make that much of a difference?
-
I didn't do exactly that but I resigned after returning one day. There was absolutely no ill will or issues. In general I do believe people never have 100% expectations that women will return after maternity leave because you never know what will happen. For me, there were feeding and growth problems so I couldn't commit to a job like mine. Nothing personal but it was short notice. For you, assuming you "plan" 12 weeks but give notice after 6-8, then that is like 4-6 weeks notice when you most likely have already tied up loose ends when standard is 2 weeks with no prior cleaning up of tasks. So aside from the benefits side of things I really don't see a big problem.
-
I did it after about 16 weeks of 100% paid maternity leave (12 originally then extended to 14 after I was diagnosed with PPD). No one batted an eye.
-
@bees_knees: I didn't really think about being given a poor reference in the future, that's a good point and something I plan on asking about. My employer is very large. If I leave my plan is not return to work here in the future but obviously you never know how things will work out. I am not trying to burn bridges or cause a lot of resentment.
-
I disagree with people who say it's a crappy thing to do for two reasons: 1) std is a benefit provided by your company that you have already EARNED. So in my mind you should be able to be honest with your employer prior to taking it and still be able to use it, but unfortunately that's not how it works so in that sense they are sort of putting you in this position in the first place. There are already not only so few benefits available to new moms recovering from birth there's also a huge stigma against them for taking time to heal in the first place. Those paid weeks are yours to take regardless of your plans afterwards. 2) you may feel this way now, but what if you change your mind? You should be able to reserves the right to come back if your situation changes, haha but again here we go with the stigma and very little understanding of your situation.
I think if we lived ina society where paid maternity leave was the NORM and not the exception people might feel very different about this. Instead Since it's this rare benefit offered only in certain situations we are supposed to feel guilty for taking it and like criminals if we use it then don't come back. I don't agree with that line of thinking.
-
@Rocker2014: I particularly liked your reference about asking men vs women. It sounds like me and dh exactly!! He loves his job and his boss and co workers but he'd leave it in a split second if something better came along. Me on the other hand have been at the same job for over 19 years and wouldn't leave UNLESS everything was perfect somewhere else and I feel like it never would be soooo....
To get to the crux of the question though @LadyDi: I do not think there is anything wrong with resigning while on leave. If that is what is best for you then do it. I wouldn't worry about your boss also being on maternity leave bc well, that's not your issue. As pp's stated the only thing I'd look into would be if you have to pay anything back. at my job if you dont' return you have to pay back something (not sure exactly what)
-
@LadyDi: I would without a doubt; go on leave, return and on the first day just give my two weeks notice.
-
This definitely happens here and there and I totally understand it when it is a shift in plans, but I do not like/respect it when it is the plan from the get-go..... but on the other hand, I know that financially, often, it's the only route (so that you can keep health insurance for the birth and get your earned benefits).
I think this doesn't apply to you but it's an interesting/annoying fact nonetheless... in my school district, if you quit anytime during your contract, you have to pay the district $2000 (one month's after-tax pay) and they can go after your teaching license at the state level. Contracts are basically March-March, so if you want to leave without repercussions, you have to not sign your contract in March and you finish the school year and you're done.
-
@LadyDi: I don't think you should resign before maternity leave. Circumstances change all the time (DH's job situation. baby's temperament, etc) and if something changes, you want to have your job as an option in case you need it.
Continue to understand your benefits package to determine if there are any penalties for quitting while on maternity leave to make an informed decision (maybe you decide go back to work for a short time to avoid being financially penalized, etc.).
If you do end up resigning, be sure to connect one on one with people that could serve as references in the future to make sure you can still get a strong recommendation.
-
When I was pregnant and reviewing the benefit plan with HR they made it very clear that everything was set up so that if I chose not to come back after my leave we would be square and it would be a clean break. I had no intention of quitting but this made me feel more comfortable if I was considering it.
Do what is best for your family, you don't owe the company anything I would just do your research as others above has suggested to be sure you know the full potential financial impact. If you were planning to take 12 weeks of maternity leave then giving them notice after your STD ends is still giving them plenty of time!
-
Thanks, everyone, for your thoughtful feedback!
-
When I had my kid I figured I would go back to work, but, my partner would have supported me staying at home for a significant chunk of time. So, I definitely thought about it. Once I actually had a baby, I realized that I am really NOT cut out to be a stay at home parent and I was so relieved to go back to work.
-
I'll be honest, if one of my staff did this, I would be pissed. Not only did I have to absorb the work while they were out on mat leave, I just lost 12 weeks of recruiting time where I could have replaced them.
That being said, I don't know that I would do anything different and am a big proponent of doing what's best for you and your family. I think pp's above made some very good points already.
-
@lawbee11: It's definitely a different situation, but I think the feedback I received from males vs. females was such a striking response that I wanted to share it on this board full of mostly women.
And to sort of answer your question, I was actually able to negotiate the timing of my offer letter with my new (now current) employer, so yes I intentionally waited until nearly the end of my leave to give notice.
-
I’m surprised this is viewed so negatively. I took my 16 weeks of paid leave, then extended to 4 months of unpaid leave (which I was entitled to by the laws governing my company at the time - I could have taken up to a year of unpaid leave and kept my job). I resigned a month into my unpaid leave. My (female) boss was extremely understanding and she hired the temp, who had replaced me for maternity leave, as a full time employee.
-
@LadyDi: I 100% support doing whatever is best for you and your family. Business is business.
-
@Reese: I completely agree
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
36 comments