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We have separate accounts, but we don't contribute to them. Everything goes into our joint account. I worked up until I was 10 weeks pregnant, and since then, DH has just put all the money into our joint account. Since I am more organized, I make sure all the bills get paid. We are on a tight budget, so if one of us wants to buy something we ask the other how we are doing financially and if it would be ok. Not that we NEED to ask, but I feel like I should ask DH before I buy a new shirt, since its his money. He always ends up saying: "You know our financial situation better, so whatever you think." I guess just keeping the communication open about it is what makes it work for us. We share everything so it's "ours" anyway.

We have one bank account that all our money goes into, and even though DH makes a little more it is all considered 100% OUR money--what's his is mine, what's mine is his. I will stop working in exactly one month and at that point we'll still use the same bank account, it just won't have nearly as much in it...eeek! My mom didn't work when I was young and my parents were very clear that their money belonged to both of them--just because my dad brought home a paycheck didn't mean it was more his money, and I'm pretty sure being a SAHM was even more work for my mom! I think the easiest option is to have everything in one account, and our situation is similar to yours--still renting but no debt, just monthly expenses.

Although neither of us are SAH, we have a joint account and very structured budget with every incoming dollar assigned somewhere. If I go to the grocery store as long as I stay within that budget category no need to discuss; if I need to go outside of it then we discuss first. Each get an "allowance" for our own things. In your case, since you will likely want to do things with your LO (like zoo/museum memberships) you would probably want to work that into your overall budget.

I'm not in this situation, but I think if you are going to be a SAHM, you are going to have to get used to the idea of "our" money, not "yours" and "mine." I know it's hard! DH & I share all our money and it was an adjustment, but now I can't imagine another way.

One way to feel autonomous would be to deposit all your income (assume it would be just from your DH's paycheck) into your joint account, and then move equal, small amounts into your individual accounts for "spending money" so you don't feel like you are watching each other's every move. You could also do this with credit cards.

I've also actually heard of a couple, I can't remember where, maybe here, that agreed on a "salary" for the SAHM that the dad would pay from his income. Being a full-time caretaker is a job - if you weren't doing it, you'd pay someone else to! It's honestly just symbolic but if it helps you wrap your head around it, whatever works!

I was a SAHM for 4 months until I started working part-time again, but we have the same set-up still since any money I bring in is going directly to our savings account now. We have one joint checking account that my husband's paychecks are deposited in every month. Credit card, bills, groceries, car loans, mortgage, student loans, etc are taken out of that account. We both have a separate checking account that a certain amount gets deposited into every month - we use these accounts for splurge items or non-house related stuff.

It was hard for me to adjust to not bringing $ into the joint account, but after awhile I got used to it. I think the weirdest thing is when I bought my husband a birthday gift - technically he bought it for himself but it is true how you have to think of it as "our" money!

I am planning on being a SAHM (job ends this month, LO is due in March) and we realigned our finances a long time before getting pregnant to "practice" living on one salary. At this point, we have one bills account that every monthly expense comes out of, my husband and I each have checking accounts (he deposits into mine and I take care of budgeting and paying for food and household stuff) and we have a savings account.

I'm a sahm and we have one joint account. We share a credit card and I can just go out and spend what I need to. I don't have to ask first, its my money too. I'm working my tushy off at home raising our baby and keeping our house in order. I'm saving us a ton of money by not sending lo to day care. I don't feel at all guilty about spending the money dh makes working, because I'm working too. Its just not a paying job.

When we got married we immediately got one joint account. In our pre-marital counseling, that was what the pastor told us to do - since finances are generally such an issue for married couples. We were both working FT at the time - so it made the transition to me being a SAHM much easier, it was always our. I do think we would have faced the same thought-tendencies as you had we waited to do it as well... I do agree it's crucial to start thinking "ours" vs "yours, mine".

I agree that you need to get used to the "our money" way of thinking. DH and I've had a joint account since we got engaged and moved in together (I worked until I got laid off then had a baby, now I SAH). We didn't make enough $ to make it worthwhile to maintain separate accounts! We went from some lean years in our 20s to saving up for our 2nd rental property in our 30s. I know this is possible not bc DH makes a ton of $ but bc I run this household like a job. We're a team. I value my work highly and so should every SAHM out there.