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I think it was the opposite for me. Once I had their grandkids, my MIL treated me like I didn't exist.

I've had way more issues with my in laws since having kids.

My ILs, especially MiL, have always treated me like family. I am really lucky in that regard. The only difference is I think MIL is so careful not to overstep her boundaries that in some ways she stays back more than my mom would, if that makes sense (and I am not complaining about that!). FIL is not as involved but he hardly even talks to Dh that much so I'm not offended.

My family isn't as good at welcoming Dh and his mom is but its just their personalities. I'm sure he knows they love him they just aren't as affectionate or outgoing with people I think.

We are both pretty lucky with ILs.

@BabyBoecksMom: Ditto. I wasn't super close with my ILs for very many reasons pre-LO, but after we don't even talk except occasional FaceTime hi's and when i drop off/pick up LO from visiting them when we're in town.

I am very lucky that I have great MIL and FIL. They have always gone out of their way to make me feel welcome and my family does the same for DH. I get frosty feelings from my 2 SIL's, but they aren't very warm, welcoming people. Which is soo odd to me b/c their mom (MIL) is.... I mourn the relationship I wish I had with them. But its been 6 years and it's not gonna change.

My family welcomed DH. His family was great at first but once LO1 was born they just pushed me aside and started acting like only DH was his parent and totally ignored me and my wishes for him. We don't see them very much now.

Nope! DH and I were treated like family by each of our respective parents even before we got engaged!

I think they love me more now that they have a granddaughter. Buts it's slightly conditional. MIL is very vocal that one parent needs to SAH, since I do she praises me for it, my SIL works and is undermined for that. I think we also have very similar parenting styles/values so again she approves.

My parents have been very generous with DH in many ways since we started dating almost 13 years ago, we moved in together after 6 weeks.

I think it helps we have gone to school together since elementary school and dated in HS so we already knew each others parents. In some ways I'm sure MIL has groomed me to be the daughter she did not have, but it works for us.