"You can't control how other people behave - only how you react." Or in my case, what other people say ...
Before I go on, I have to say that my MIL is a good cook, has a beautiful smile, and has sewed for our baby a lovely bassinet cover. She's also raised a pair of fine sons. But she always has an opinion on everything and more often than not, her comments are criticisms. I should just go out and admit that a previous post I made about how to deal with negative comments isn't about a friend, it's about my MIL. Well tonight they were briefly over and she make a comment that has really gotten me concerned for when the baby arrives.
As she was looking at the infant bouncer my grandma has gifted us, she gives me a newspaper article saying there's a story in it about the use of "these new baby things that are inclined" and she should have given me the article a long time ago.
The article is about a theory a person has about how new baby gear that wasn't available years ago can hinder development and cause dyslexia and ADHD. The article itself was poorly written and very brief, it criticizes baby gyms especially because "it frustrates a baby" because the baby wants to reach for the things but can't and bouncers and things that strap the baby limits their mobility. I've read criticisms about the Bumbo and such and relayed it to her, but those criticisms don't go as far as linking it with dyslexia and ADHD, especially since there are a multitude of activities that babies engage in everyday (it's not like a parent just straps a child in one of those things for an entire day, and it they do, the child would have a lot more serious problems)!
I question if the person that wrote that article even has children because the developmental stages it mentions isn't aligned with the time you actually use those items for the baby or a baby is no longer interested in those items. For instance, a newborn has limited vision for the first few weeks isn't going to want to stick everything in it's mouth right away!
I can no go on about the article, but it's MIL's way of always preaching about things that truly frustrate me. When she saw the playpen, she mentions how a baby can't be so heavy when we use it. I told her we weren't planning on leaving a toddler in there for hours at a time. BIL made a joke about it that made everyone laugh. When she saw the mattress I personally cut to fit the bassinet, she comments on how it's high and we'll have to use something else after 3 months -- the bassinet is small, we don't intend to use the thing for that long anyway!
It's so frustrating because she has not gifted a single thing to us but yet criticizes my family's gifts for the baby! She did sew us the bassinet cover (that I am very thankful for) but we barely got the bassinet tonight -- at 36 weeks.
How do I deal with this? I've responded to every one of her comments (and not staying quiet like I used to). But I'm afraid she'll continue to be insistent with her "advice" because that seems to be her way of doing things. Do I just meditate and ignore it? I can't force someone to not have opinions. Or is there a way to set some boundaries for her to understand that her incessant negative comments aren't welcomed.