Our 2.5 year old is having trouble with sharing. His preschool teacher assures us it's normal but I'm looking for some strategies on how to explain or help him understand that he can't snatch a toy or push someone out of the way to "guard" something he is playing with. Help us out! Please!
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Maybe you and daddy should model sharing, very explicitly. Give examples all day. Our 2 year old is very bossy about who sits where, so if I sit on the couch with daddy, she wants me to sit in my "fot" (spot) on the chair. So we tell her daddy is sharing his "fot" with mama. Which she usually agrees to.
Also, maybe try playing a simple game where you take turns. This might work best with him and adults (you and dad).
Was he in daycare before preschool? Is it an adjustment to being around so many other kids taking stuff from him?
Also, he's two and a half. Don't worry too much. Our 4 year old niece has a hard time sharing too
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His teacher is right. We can't expect 2 year olds to share, but we can focus on not allowing them to take things away from other kids. Whoever has it, has it.
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@JennyD: Thanks for your thoughtful response! I'll definitely bring it up with DH about being more explicit models. He was not in daycare...started preschool this fall and has certainly been learning a lot from the other kids (he's almost the youngest in his class). Mostly it has been really great and I know this is developmentally normal, but we want to help him be less aggressive (not sure if that's the right word) about his things- both with the other kids and his younger brother who is now getting to the point where he wants to play with the same toys...
@googly-eyes: I certainly don't expect him to learn to share over-night. I was mostly hoping for some techniques to try out and help him through this phase...
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@Baby Boy Mom: Sorry... I was saying "whoever has it, has it" is the rule that needs to be enforced and I wouldn't worry about sharing. So, "You may not take that away from your friend." (Take whatever it is away.) "You may not shove your friend." Even, "your friend is crying because you took that out of his hands." Or, "You hurt your friend. That is not ok." Be honest but to the point rather than dragging things on. Some people like to make kids say sorry even if they don't mean it just because it is something they'll have to learn to do.. I'm sort of split on how I feel about that. Continue using redirection and remember that it is normal, age appropriate behavior. He may act out or push back, same with any boundary, but stay consistent and respectful with him. Validate his feelings but don't dwell on them. Like, "I know you want to go on the slide. It's a lot of fun. Right now Susie is on the slide, and then you can go on it." It's OK if he cries or gets mad and he gets to feel that way as long as he is not hurting anyone else or violating your rules.
That's all I've got, and fwiw it's from working with other people's kids, not my own, so I guess take it with a grain of salt.
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My son was snatching toys away from other kids and we had to figure out why it was that he was doing that in order to prevent him from continuing.
What we noticed was that he gets anxious when he has to transition activities, so he needs a little "set up" time to move into the next thing. He needs to be told activities are changing, do his clean up routine, then he can transition into the next thing by getting whatevet it is. He also responded very well to "handing things out" to his classmates. It gave him some control, which is his root cause.
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@googly-eyes: Oh, ok, thanks for the clarification! I always appreciate the views of bees with childcare experience!
@looch: handing things out is a GREAT idea! I'm definitely going to talk to his teacher about that because knowing him I'm betting that's something that would work. thank you!
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@Baby Boy Mom: yeah I reread my original comment and thought, wow, that probably came across totally b****y, lol. I didn't mean it that way! Multitasking fail, I guess! Sorry!
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@googly-eyes: no worries!
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