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I thought you were going to say you were worried about being home without your Dh so soon- I can't imagine going to a wedding with a 3 week old baby, not to mention with a 2 yo, and your DH will have wedding party duties. Maybe I'm wimpy but I just can't imagine going.

I think saying something along the lines that you and the baby probably won't make it so close to the birth would be appropriate. They can decide to change it if they want.

@aprild: I'd plan on staying home - maybe a friend or someone could stay with you?

I don't think I'd mention it either, unless they ask.

I wouldn't say anything. I just wouldn't plan on going unless you feel up to it.
I'll be at a family wedding three weeks after DD2 gets here, but it's in town and I'm only going to stay for a little while. Our two year old will be with DH.
I wouldn't feel comfortable with a 2.5 hour drive at that point.

I might casually mention at some point, that you and the baby might not be able to ale it, depending on when he is born. My SIL had our nephew exactly 1 month before our wedding date, and we had a destination wedding in Hawaii. I know we would have been disappointed if they hadn't shown up, but would have understood. And we were SO happy they could all come (her other son was our ring-bearer). The good thing was the grandparents were also there to help if needed. But actually, the baby was easier than the toddler!

I wouldn't say anything. Your concerns are absolutely valid but honestly, it's not your day, it's theirs.

@aprild: I wouldn't say anything. Their wedding has nothing to do with you, though both are very exciting and celebratory occasions!

I had a RCS with my second (planned) and felt pretty good at 3w PP, but still, was in no position to travel that far distance by car. I was okay to be alone with the baby by myself - probably even alone for the weekend - but definitely not by myself for 3 days with two kids.

I wouldn't mention anything about the days UNTIL they brought it up themselves, someone directly asked you, the date was set in stone and got closer, invites are sent & you have to RSVP, and/or you've given birth and actually have to make a decision .

We had this same issue. My SIL started talking about a wedding date 2 weeks before my due date. The wedding was 2.5 hours away. I just nicely texted her that I understood how hard scheduling a wedding was, but I just wanted to let her know that my due date was 2 weeks after her wedding and that my husband and I wouldn't be able to attend. This was all before she booked anything and it was before we announced I was pregnant. So, she didn't know when she was talking about the date. She ended up picking that date anyway. Our plan was that we would just decide closer to time what we would do. But I was leaning towards letting DH go and have someone stay with me. Unless we had already had the baby of course It ended up not mattering because I had the baby at 27 weeks. He was still in the NICU, so we both got to go. It actually really annoyed me though when she set that date knowing her brother possibly couldn't go. I obviously would have never told her that though.

Maybe I'm alone in this but I think you're over thinking it. I think going to the wedding is totally managable. It sounds like all your inlaws would be there so there would potentially be plenty of help while your husband did wedding party stuff. Ultimately, you won't know until the date so I wouldn't really go into it until that time.

I would have your DH bring it up in passing at least. For me a wedding is a family oriented event so unless things are booked it's worth throwing it out there and maybe they will take that into consideration.

I wouldn't say anything. They shouldn't feel like they have to schedule their wedding around you and your due date. So unless they bring it up and ask you directly, let them plan with what works best for them and then you plan around it the best you can.

I'd have your husband mention it casually to his brother or his mom (and let her pass it along). He could say that he doesn't expect them to plan around you, but that it's very possible that part of his family might miss it and he just wanted to let them know upfront. I think it's very possible that someone without kids might think one month after your due date is a safe bet.

If I were the bride I would want to know. You could just tell them that you want to be there for them, but you won't be able to give a firm RSVP either way until you're closer to the due date (and that you hope that doesn't make their head count too difficult!) because you don't know what will happen with your pregnancy. Maybe they'll just like knowing in advance that you'll have to RSVP "maybe," since dealing with RSVPs is so frustrating anyway. Maybe they'll want to change the date to ensure that your whole family can be there. They may even want to change the date because they won't want their wedding to be too close in time to your delivery, as that would certainly take attention away from their wedding.

I wouldn't say anything, honestly after my C-section I would have been up for a wedding 4 weeks later, not all recoveries are tough and you can't really predict. And it being a family wedding, you might have plenty of help once you get there (aunts, cousins, ect.) If it's anything like our families, I would have plenty of people to give me a hand with my 2 year old and even the baby.

However, if you aren't up for it and they want LO1 in the ceremony and your DH is in it, then they both go to the wedding and you and new baby stay home, DH can handle him since he will be at the church early as well, and there should be plenty of other people to give a helping hand.

I wouldn't say anything. I hope you can make it!

@aprild: Are you planning on a repeat C section? If so, just plan it for 39 week, That will give you 5 weeks to recover. By that point, I was up for getting out of the house and socializing and felt much more like myself.

I gave birth just 3 weeks before my SIL's wedding (I was due 4 weeks before) LO was just 20 days old at her wedding. The day was exhausting as I was a sort of "unofficial" bridesmaid and was with the bridal party the whole day, but I managed. I don't think you can really request that the couple move the date for you...

I wouldn't say anything now. You won't have to reply until they send the invitations anyways. And if you end up not being able to go even though you RSVP yes, I'm sure they will understand why.

I took my 2 week old to a wedding 2 hours away (one-way) and it was fine. We kept her covered in her infant carseat and left after dinner. The drive wasn't too bad. We pulled over on the way home to feed her and she slept the rest of the way.

I think I would bring up your due date when they start finalizing the details of the wedding, just mentioning that you may or may not be able to make it since it's so close to your due date. Obviously you shouldn't try to get them to change their date, but If I were the bride, I'd want to know if a family member was an uncertain guest. You never know what might happen... you might feel great and everything will be fine, but you might not. I had complications 2 weeks after delivery and was in no shape whatsoever to be going anywhere, even just a 2 hr drive to a family wedding.