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my reason for choosing a daycare over a nanny is because I like the fact that its out of my home and that its a more formal arrangement. Also because the daycare know that other parents can stop by at anytime all the parents act as watchdogs for others.
Many daycares allow you to enroll on a part time basis

Updated to add my LO started daycare at 12 weeks old

Hmmm. With a nanny, you might have the option to work out a certain minimum weekly stipend plus hourly rate for days actually worked?

Honestly, I would answer the question from a "what happens if DH is at high demand" perspective, because that's your worst case scenario (as in, the one you need coverage most, not that it's bad) and that's what you should plan for. Yes, it might end up being a waste paying for full time help, but if he's at peak work commitments, you might end up scrambling for child care. It sounds like the issue is less nanny vs daycare but more whether you should do full time help or not, and your description sounds like it's worth it, even if DH ends up being more free than not. I always vote in favor of daycare for socialization and structure purposes, and you have great flexibility built in because DH can stay home if LO does get sick.

Personally, I chose a nanny over daycare mostly because I wanted someone totally devoted to my child. It's definitely more expensive, but it's been great. There are a ton of pros like not having to worry about pick-up and drop-off; additional help with housework (she does light housekeeping); someone that we trust to watch after the kids on the weekends or nights when we have a date night; and a bond that has developed between us and our nanny. Also, our kids hardly ever got sick the first couple of years and when they did get sick, we didn't have to scramble to find childcare, our nanny took care of them at home.

As for socializing our children, our nanny is great. She takes them to the park and has a couple of other nannies whom she hangs out with and schedules play dates. She takes them to museum, children's play centers, and other activities (e.g., music classes and Gymboree). Also, since she is from South America, both my sons speak Spanish.

But, most importantly, both my sons have had a constant caregiver in their lives who loves them. She has been with our family since my first son was 6 months old (now 4 years old) and our youngest since he was born. She knows our kids like they are her own.

Oh, sorry, and one last thing. I know that people tend to be a bit concerned about nanny oversight, and perhaps I've just been very lucky, but I've has several moms tell me that our nanny is one of the best (they see her in the park and library with my kids). Also, she's rarely ever at home except for meal times and naps and we can monitor her schedule because we have cameras/security system.

I know many people who have part-time nannies for less than 40 hours per week and use a mix of daycare, nanny and reduced work hours for their child care needs since they have flexible schedule. That is an option, too.

For a child under 2 years old, I would have done a nanny, no question about it. Looking back on those years, my son's sleep was so unpredictable, he needed two naps for a really long time, he would have benefitted from someone that could schedule around him, versus have him drop a nap because that's what they do in the room.

Also, take into consideration that the first year in a daycare setting is often full of illnesses, so think about how much time you'd have to take off if you can't send your child to daycare.

I'll just share my personal story. I'm a part-time attorney and I didn't send my kid to daycare until he was 16 months old (he had grandma care before that, so sorta like a nanny). My DH also works from home half the week and DS goes to a small in-home daycare where there are 5-ish other kids his age (under 2).

I have no experience sending a 6 month old to daycare, but I am happy we waited as long as we did to send DS to daycare because he was better able to deal with the constant illness than an infant. He could sit up and productively cough, he could express his unhappiness, he could sign for water, etc. It was easier to tell something was wrong because he would be listless and not running around tearing the place apart like he usually does and he didn't feel quite so fragile. He's also at an age where language and social skills start developing more, so having a few friends he sees every day to play with has really been great for him. The in-home thing has been really great too because its the same 2-3 caretakers (married couple and their adult daughter) every day who really care for my son and its the same small group of friends. Until he transitions to preschool, I think this is a great balance for him.

That said, since December (when he started going on transitional playdates to daycare), he's been pretty much sick nonstop. Its annoying having to pay daycare even when he's out. We did the math and while its still cheaper than a nanny, between paying daycare and a backup sitter (or using PTO for yourself), its not as great a cost savings as you might think. I think the first month he was in daycare, he was out like 10 days out of that month between illness and paid holidays, plus whatever it cost us to watch him on the days out. You're also constantly at the pediatrician's, so that's time and copays and Rx drugs.

Anticipating lots of sick days, we signed up with a nanny service in town that can send you back-up or last minute nannies for sick coverage. Either that or having a regular sitter you can call on for sick days is going to be crucial to getting through that daycare illness hump the first year, especially when work is busy.

Because DH's schedule is more flexible than mine, he does a lot more daycare pick up and drop off than I do, which helps me immensely to just focus on my job and go home. DH is also able to do more middle of the day doctor's appointments or go get DS when daycare calls to say he's sick and needs to be picked up. But DH also has decent predictability in terms of his own work hours and doesn't have a screaming toddler or a nanny in his space during the day (unless its a sick day with the back up sitter), so he's more productive too.

I cook meals on the weekends and reheat during the week and with my reduced schedule, I have some time every evening to some basic daily chores, pack the daycare bags, and get some downtime on top of seeing DS. As for house stuff, we recently hired a cleaning service and have a lawn guy do our yard, and have a carpet service come to steam the carpets every few months. I totally justify all this because still cheaper than a full-time nanny.

@thepicklemonster: As someone in what sounds like a similar field to you, having a full-time nanny has been indispensable. She just helps the household run better, and it's wonderful being able to hand off DS when she arrives in the morning, still in his PJs and without having had any breakfast yet. I'm sure it would be doable, but it would be more difficult having to get DS ready (plus get his food/milk etc. ready) each morning, especially when I often have early-morning calls and other commitments that are not always possible to plan in advance. Another vote for nanny!

I would do full-time daycare, at least to start. The first year with a new baby is very tough, and even if you guys do end up with some extra time, you may want to just have some "me time" to recover or else to do household chores that often get neglected after the baby arrives. In terms of nanny vs daycare, we chose daycare for a few reasons. First, it was much less expensive (nannies around here cost roughly the same as two kids in daycare), plus we really liked the daycare we chose due to its proximity to our house, the warm environment, the curriculum (ours is Montessori), the socialization aspect, and also just the fact that if one teacher gets sick or needs a vacation, there are others to step in. My LO has been in full-time daycare since she was 3 months old and she has really thrived. She has plenty of friends, she interacts well with adults and children both younger and older than her, and I always know there is someone watching her. Plus, the "community" aspect of the daycare is nice too, since I have befriended some of the other parents.

There have been a few cons, such as illness (she was sick constantly for the first two winters) but I hope it will be worth it if her immune system is strong from now on. The admin at daycare can be either good or bad (we've experienced both), and obviously it is harder to control things like if all the teachers are people you would have chosen (vs the nanny). Overall though, I'm glad we chose daycare and once we have a 2nd, we'll definitely put them in daycare as opposed to taking both kids out and going with a nanny, which is what some people in our area do.

I SAH, but most of my friends who went back to work did a nanny share for the first year.

They would pair up with another family in their neighborhood who had a child their age and they would hire a nanny together. It ended up being cheaper than full-time daycare for an infant, but they got a lot of the perks of having a nanny.

I've done both - a nanny share (two babies, one nanny) with DS1 until he was 2 and we moved across the country, and just started daycare a few weeks ago with DS2 at 4 months. Both have been great (so far with daycare, it's early yet)!

I looooooved our nanny with DS1. She became like a member of the family and was basically a better parent than I could've ever hoped to be - super energetic, loving, endless fun and games for the babies. This was in a very family-friendly neighborhood in NYC and I loved that she could take the kids out to the park and playgrounds so they got a lot of outdoor time. With the share, we paid about the same as it would've cost for daycare so that wasn't much of a factor. It was awesome to not have to prepare any sort of food/bottles, she would just show up and make all their meals. She also set up playdates with other nannies and kids. She took them to music class, playspaces, etc. so they really got to take advantage of all the stuff our kid-centric neighborhood had to offer. My son was laughing all the time and was an early talker, and I attribute it largely to her. It was a walking area so she never drove the kids. She would stay late occasionally so we could go out with friends or on a date. We spent zero time cleaning because she kept the apartment pretty clean. Having her was really convenient and honestly, leaving her was the hardest thing about leaving NYC!

Now we're in Texas and it's much less of a nanny culture. For DS2, we decided to take the easier/cheaper route and put him in the same daycare that DS1 now goes to. So far I like it there too, but it's more work for us. We have to prep bottles, bring crib sheet, changes of clothes etc. DS2 doesn't nap very well there which is not great, but he does seem happy and loved. He doesn't get as much one-on-one attention and we don't get as much communication about what he did all day as we did with our nanny. However, we're paying wayyyy less than we would with a nanny. Plus, now that we're in a very car-centric city, I wouldn't feel that comfortable with a nanny driving him around (that's mostly just my nervousness, not that a nanny wouldn't be a fine driver). He has a little cold now but we haven't had to keep him home yet. The teachers are really warm and loving and remind me of our beloved nanny.

It really depends on your particular nanny or daycare but I think you can't go wrong if they're good people.

My DH is a biglaw attorney and I'm in academia. I have fairly flexible hours but still work full time. We have a nanny share with another family in our neighborhood (the kids are ~2 months apart) and the kids will start part-time preschool this fall after they turn 2. It's been a great option and a happy medium for us. We get socialization (relative to one-on-one nanny) but fewer germs, slightly cheaper than infant daycare in our area, and every other month we are at our house so no drop-off/pick-up those months. DH's firm has a backup care option through a daycare chain but we haven't used it yet (benefit of a youngish nanny: she rarely gets sick). For LO2, whenever that happens, we will probably do our own nanny + part-time preschool for the older LO, just so we can reap more of the nanny benefits (kid-relevant chores) that are not necessarily realized in a nanny share.

Paging @LBee: who has a combo of nanny share and MDO and might be able to contribute to this convo too!

I'm also a big law attorney and DW has a flexible schedule like your DH. However we are choosing day care bc if we had a nanny she doesn't think she would be able to get work done. Plus I like that DS will be socialized and have new toys and activities and make friends. I have a maybe irrational fear that we would end up paying a nanny to sit and play on her phone at our house. Anyway I'm sure you will choose what's right for you. Congrats on your pregnancy!!

Also a lawyer but I didn't send LO to daycare until she was 20 mo old so I can't speak to the baby part of it. Here are my thoughts. We did daycare mostly because it is the more cost-effective option but also partially because my husband was a little uncomfortable with the idea of a single individual watching our child. The first two months I HATED daycare. My daughter had a hard time adapting, I had a hard time accepting that she really was going to HAVE to adapt and they were not really going to work with her individual needs that much, and she has been sick constantly. Like literally every other week since she started 3.5 months ago. And being a woman lawyer in a big firm I have felt very awkward about the fact that she has needed me to stay home quite a few times (and I"m only doing 1/3 of her illness days!) + the fact that I've been sick a lot from her... and it isn't like a lot of young lawyers at big firms have kids. It's been hard. I would have absolutely pulled her in favor of a nanny if we could've afforded it.

But then at about 2 mo she DID adapt and I saw that she likes it there. She seems to really like being around all the other kids and when I get to pick her up she is happy to see me but also I can tell she is having fun. When we've had her out for days in a row I can tell she is getting bored and misses her friends. When we see people in public that look like her teachers she gets excited. And she is definitely learning some things that I think are hard to teach outside of a group dynamic about sharing and taking turns and being patient. These are just not things that are easy to teach when it is just 1 child and 1 caregiver.

So at this point-- even though we are still sick a lot-- I am sort of liking daycare for her. If we have another I think we'll stick with daycare because although there are definite downsides I think over all it is good for her. And I think there would be a little less sickness starting a kid as a baby because they are less all over each other/putting everything in their mouths than young toddlers are.

When my LO was little, we chose daycare because there are more adults to watch our baby and each other. I don't know that I would ever feel comfortable leaving a stranger alone in my house with my child unsupervised (I don't use babysitters either unless they are friends or occasionally college aged employees of my husband's).

My daughter was in daycare from 6 months to 15 months and she absolutely loved it. They did sweet crafts with them and she was able to socialize with other littles every day. She also learned to eat new foods and get on a nap schedule which was awesome.

For under 1, I'd pick a nanny. One thing you left out is the sleep factor. Mix sleep deprivation into the equation and it really shift things towards the convenience factor. A nanny would be more convenient and should be more dependable. Plus, your husband's unpredictable schedule would be better suited for a nanny vs. daycare (especially since sickness is common and normal for daycare). If the nanny helps clean up a bit, that's a huge plus as well.

I've done both. I work around 30 hours a week but travel sometimes or have late days (also am an attorney) and my husband works way more. We have a 16mo and 4yo who goes to part time preschool. Nanny is 35ish hours a week, sometimes more, but was originally hired as part time 25 hours a week when I first went back to work almost a year ago. I love having a nanny for kids under age 2. It's more expensive but more convenient and our nanny does light housework, errands, laundry. Our youngest (now 16m) can nap as much as he needs to. When he was a baby, she could focus on his milk needs and when I worked form home I could just nurse him. He is exposed to other kids because he has a big brother and the nanny takes him plenty of places. The youngest will join his big brother at Montessori school this fall when he is almost 2 (part time) and our nanny will help with the new baby and do more around the house (make all lunches, school drop offs and pick ups, etc). our older did daycare when I worked full time at s firm and had a good experience with that too (despite sickness) and has always been a social kid. All in, though, I really don't think kids need socialization through daycare until age 2ish. We pay a lot, but convenience is king right now in our lives.